Thursday, October 22, 2009

Nails


"Are you going to the prom?"

This is what people need to ask you when you are preparing yourself to
go to the doctor's office. If you are going to ask the doctor to look
at, say your hand for example, you should wash said hand and not have
crap all over it.

I was waiting at the doctor's office when one of the patients started
talking to me. He apparently had some problem with itchy hands. I
looked at the hands and I thought, "I know what's wrong". This guy's
hands are dirty and dry. Maybe he should wash, moisturize and repeat.
I'm no doctor but I thought those things wouldn't hurt him.

His fingernails were long, dirty, gross and nasty. What the fuck? (Say it like Joey Lauren Adams character in Mallrats)

That brings me to my point. What the fuck is the deal with long ass dirty nails? Why the hell can't you cut your nails? I never understood this. I have seen people with long ass fucking finger and toe nails with BLACK crap under it. And they're complaining about shit going wrong with them??? CUT THE NAILS assholes!!

And get this shit. People want referrals to podiatry so that they can get their toenails trimmed. Seriously, is this where our health care dollars are going? We're cutting nails and shit for retards???!?!?



4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Weird. My mom always taught us to go to a doctor's appointment dressed to impress. Maybe you should make a pamphlet to keep in waiting rooms that gives patients step-by-step instructions on how to get ready to see your physician.

First step: Go to your own bathroom. Second Step: Turn on water using knob. And so on. Don't leave out a single detail. Because they will mess it up.

Btw. I don't understand the advantage of long nails. I cut my nails incessantly. I'm afraid I'd scratch myself.

Ghonie said...

Interesting. My post is all funky and fucked up. The formatting is wrong. This is what you get for using an iphone to write the blog.

Anonymous said...

Why the self flagellation?

Anonymous said...

I would let the old lady with the wicked toenails have her way with my face and eyes. I want the last thing I see is her toenails digging into my eyes and getting to beg her for mercy as she claws them out. I will pay her any amount she wants to do that to me.