Vampires: IT'S A TRAP!!

(Illustration of the Vampire Gauntlet)

Vampires have descended upon our trade school. These vampiros harvest blood for their demonic purposes (ie. saving people's lives) every other month. They are known to some as the RED CROSS volunteers but I call them Blood-Sucking-Leech-Demons-of-Satan-Hoard.

I am amazed at their strategy for harvesting life juice from unsuspecting students. They use superior techniques such as guilt and peer pressure to cajole you into sitting in their sadistic makeshift bloodsucking chairs.

They also create a gauntlet of some sort to funnel all the people into their blood sucking scheme/machine. I tried to illustrate their setup in in the picture above. Essentially, they MAKE you walk through their gauntlet if you want to get across the lounge/open area. I wanted to get to the cafeteria to buy some food but the only way i could get there was to run through this trap.
While walking through the gauntlet, they throw everything at you: guilt, peer pressure, sweet talk, threats, etc. I keep my eyes on the prize though. I look straight at the entrance to the cafetorium, speed walk toward the goal, and never look back. Of course, when you want to leave, you have to go through it AGAIN so you have to keep your guard up constantly.

In any case, I survived the guantlet today. But since they're here all week, it's going to be a tough fight.

Now, I understand the need for blood. In fact, our national blood supply is dangerously low. We can't stockpile blood so we need to constantly ask for donations. If you would like to help, please visit the RED CROSS website to find out what you can do to save lives.

God bless.

Crazy shit :Orcas

I just saw video footage of two Killer Whales working together to catch a seal that was floating on a piece of glacier.

One orca would create a wave that pushes one side of the glacier upward. That causes the seal to slide off the other side. The second orca would be waiting on that other side to grab the seal.

Fucking amazing.

Scientists are saying that the orcas may be passing on these techniques to the offspring. They have observed this behavior 30 years ago and the tradition seems to be continuing.

However, if that wasn't enough, the more impressive behavior was that the video footage showed a successful capture of the seal by the second orca but then minutes later, the orca freed the seal and put it back on the glacier. Apparently, the maneuvre was merely a training exercise for them. I guess the orca was trying to teach their kids how to hunt through "catch and release program".

Simply amazing.

Stupid Girls: Is it Smart to Be Dumb?

When I woke up this morning, one of the headlines on NBC dealt with the "dumbening" of girls in the new age. Someone (probably a feminazi) was concerned that girls of the new generation are looking up to the wrong people. According to the report, young teenage girls are looking up to people like Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, Nichole Richie, Lindsey Lohan, and the like. Apparently, young girls are looking to become spoiled, rich, stupid, and easy. They are not looking up to Sarah McSmartsmart, the nuclear physicist at JPL that is setting the hearts and minds of the geeks afire.

I don't know what the big deal is all about. I have always supported keeping kids out of school and in fast food joints. I am not a supporter of "investment in kids" program and I believe strongly that keeping the next generation of teenagers stupid is the best thing for everyone, especially me.

Contrary to this paranoid report by the femnaz (Copyright 2006), I believe kids are getting smarter, especially the girls with big chips on their shoulders. There have been many published reports in many sociology journals, as well as unpublished reports circulating among graduate schools of various professions pointing to a rise of extremely impressive applications by women to higher education programs. In fact, it has been quietly said by various deans of various institutions that if they were to admit students solely on merit alone, 80% of their incoming class would consist of females. Men, therefore, are admited in the gender version of affirmative action.

This is shocking. First of all, when did the guys get so stupid? And second of all, with all these girls in graduate schools, who's going to do my laundry and cook my dinner?

The Southern Baptist leadership has said time and time again that women's place is in the home. They are supposed to raise the children, cook for the man, and clean for the family. I have no idea why these girls think that they can run around getting doctorates and such. As a uber-conservative, I think it's time for the "great experiment" of allowing women in the work place to end and put our values back into the home where they belong. Can I get a hallelujah/amen?

In any case, I think we have nothing to worry about. The are PLENTY of ambitious smart girls in this world. I think the whole Paris Hilton/Whore/Slut thing is a way society deals with the tilting of the scale toward the smarter generations of women. In order to counter this great surge of smarter people, society is trying to tell us to slow the fuck down.

I am in support of MORE Paris Hiltons and LESS Barbara Wawas. Afterall, who is going to cook my fucking dinner?!?

Into the abyss

(This was an actual picture taken through my windshield during the storm)

I was driving back home from the city when a huge thunderstorm hit. It was midnight, cold, and wet. Added to that was fog that dropped the visibility on the road even further. Though the city roads are well lit, the roads to the 'burbs are often without highway lamps. To make things worse, the roads are painted with lane markings so pale, even Superman himself would not be able to distinguish the lines of demarcation.

I drove as cautiously as I could, but because my windshield wipers could not clear the pouring rain off my window fast enough, I might as well have been driving with my eyes closed. I did not want to panic, but I knew that my life was in danger. I decided that the best course of action was to follow another car...or rather, follow another car's rear lights.

Because the roads around here have similar sounding names or have similar numbers like Highway 9A-1, 9A-1S, or 9A, it's hard to keep track of which road is which, let alone distinguish the roads in pouring rain with almost zero visibility. It was thus inevitable that I would make a wrong turn. Sure enough, after driving a couple of miles, I found myself in unfamiliar territory. I could not even tell you when I went off course because 1) I was concentrating on keeping the car from slipping and 2) I was concentrating on following a car whose destination I did not know but was the only thing in this world that was keeping me on the road and not off the cliff into abyss of Satan's ravine.

I was driving about 30 miles per hour on the highway and after a few minutes, I knew I had to figure out where I was going, lest I'd end up in another god-forsaken boontown. I saw signs pointing to cities I have never heard of and other cities located in other states. There were no highway exits. I was trying to figure out who to call to help me out of this mess. I thought about calling the police, but I doubted they could help me unless I was killed in a horrible car accident. I was trying to figure out the number of AAA but there was no space on the road where I could stop, search for the number, and make the call.

I prayed to mighty Zeus for forgiveness, and I promised to sacrifice a lamb or at least a hobo when I got a chance if he would be gracious enough to show me the way home. Then, like a flash of lightning from Zeus' fingertips, an epiphany struck my brain. I decided to call my sister living half way across the country to give me directions. Thankfully she was home. With the help of google maps, highway signs, and dumb luck, I was able to get home after an hour and half driving around in the dark.

The moral of the story: Zeus is great, and google maps saved my life.

Addendum: Because I can't find any lamb around these parts, I may have to go with the hobo.

 

California dreamin'...

The one thing I miss about home is the access to a great selection of California wines. California wines are rated some of the best in the world. And because there is such a HUGE selection of excellent wines, the prices are kept at a reasonable price. Hell, you could even go to a local grocery store and find a Cabernet rated 90 or better for 15 bucks.

But like most things in life, you don't realize that you have taken many things for granted until they are gone...

Well, it turns out that they keep the prices low if you live in California. Anywhere else in the country, they jack up the price . After a long ass week, I decided to treat myself to some flavas from home. I went to a local wine store (they have weird laws here about alcohol so the only place I could buy wine that doesn't come out of a box is at this place) to purchase some good ol' fashioned California grape juice only to be shocked by the markups.

I looked around and saw some names I recognized and some vineyards I have never heard of before. I walked from aisle to aisle trying to decide how best to exchange my limited cash reserve for some great vintner's reserve.

Cabernet? Merlot? Blanc? Pinot? So many choices...all at an unreasonable price. I knew that if i were at home, i could get these same bottles for 5-10 bucks less than the price they were charging here. Nevertheless, I was determined not to leave the store without a purchase.

I decided that because it was a long week, I wanted to cleanse my body with some red wine. The weather was getting warmer and I wanted to purchase a red before it got too warm to keep a bottle of wine at room temperature. Since i have no wine fridge or any means of controlling the temperature in my apartment, it's often hard to buy red wine and keep it longer than a day. And cold red wine is just gross.

Anyway, i purchased the wine that you see above. It is a 2004 Kendell Jackson Pinot Noir Vintner's Reserve. It cost me 20 bucks, which is more than the usual price but I wanted to try it anyway.

I am not wine snob (I have don't have the cash to be one). But I have learned to respect and enjoy great wine. My friends knew about my first wine purchase. I spent 4 bucks on some wine on my 21st birthday. It was nasty. But over the years, I have learned to appreciate the smell and the subtle flavors that come with each bottle. I also find myself remembering the names of great bottles I have tasted.

This wine was pretty good. Velvety, smooth with an amazing aroma of cherries.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Kendell Jackson? KJ is like the McDonald's of California wines. EVERYONE drinks their wine. (That's what you were thinking right jeff?) I know it's not a unique purchase but it has always been a safe one. Many of their wines are rated pretty consistently in 80s and it's one of those 'go-to' vineyards when you can't find some of those esoteric selections. Kendell Jackson, Robert Mondavi, Sterling, etc. are all pretty much safe bets in my opinion. Besides, I remember all of those vineyards had some excellent 1997 selections that I could still taste in my mind.

So I had two glasses of this pinot with a to-go box of Ribeye steak for an Applebees. It was a nice meal. Usually, I drink a Cabernet Sauvignon with my steaks but this was a good combo too.

The sad thing about drinking wine and eating a fatty steak is the diarrhea that comes afterwards. Apparently, like many people of my race (puerto riquenos), I am missing some key enzymes in my body to "process" the juices from a winery. Although I have been cursed with low levels of dehydrogenases, I still find it worthwhile to experience a good meal.

In fact, I am writing this blog on the toilet while experiencing one of those Shasta-style explosive fecal ejections. Well, I think i have to cut this entry short because I feel another explosion coming on.

Until next time... 

I hate bugs.

I hate bugs. It's that time of the year again when insects crawl out of their nasty eggs and gross holes to bother me day in and day out. I hate bugs. My phobia runs deep and I hate Springtime as a result. Yesterday, I saw the first bug. That means that winter is over. During the winter, the bugs freeze to death or they go hide somewhere. I could leave my door open (but i can't because it's cold...oh the irony) and bugs won't come into my home. Now, these damn bugs are flying, crawling, slithering their way into every damn crack and hole they could find. I have RAID in hand to murder those vile minions of Satan but overcoming the tidal wave of those sinful beasts is close to impossible. I hate bugs.

Curry of Life? WTF?!??!

Here are some screenshots from some oriental cartoon from China or wherever called "Naruto". I don't know much about it except the fact that they/manga dude must be really desperate for story arcs. Curry of Life??? Seriously, curry?
"Life-saving curry recipe"? Hell, we should just get rid of our healthcare system and feed people this curry. Hot damn!

The curry looks nasty. It looks like black stool to me.

Fuck loneliness. Curry can solve all your problems!!! Bravo, writer of Naruto. Bravo.

Steak, Chicken, and the Bitch

Ooh...the title sounds a bit misogynistic. I can assure you that I am not...I just wrote that for "effect" or “pizzazz”. The stories I write in my blog are usually boring. And today’s entry is no different. The title is all I got.

Chicken Story:

I went to a local deli to get some food today. There are a lot of delis where live, and I find myself frequenting many of them these days. They're nothing special in my opinion, because they all serve pretty much the same damn thing: Sandwiches with a hint of italian/everything.

Now, I have nothing against sandwiches or pseudo-italian food, but where I come from, when I go out to eat, I usually visit establishments that serve food of unique origin (aka ethnic food). I don't go out to smorgasbord food joints unless it's a buffet (and there are no buffets around here...or at least the kind of buffets that i'm used to where it's "all you can eat" for a set price). I like to eat Mexican, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Italian, French, Hawaiian, "American", Indian, etc. and I like to visit places where they serve those particular flavors in joints that specializes in said ethnic-ality. Sandwiches, i suppose, can be argued as a specialty, but I don't think of that as unique unless they serve something like...say Vietnamese-Sandwich-with-that-cilantro-thing.

I looked around to see what I could eat for sustenance. As an aside, in college, I used to eat for pleasure since I enjoyed the company of my friends, and it was a grand affair celebrating the great sin of gluttony, enjoying the great flavors of the world. Now, I just eat to pass the time and survive. I have no time to enjoy culinary delights. I also don't have the means (money) to do so.

After spending a minute or so, I found myself disgusted by the poor selection and my lack of appetite. Although hungry, I didn’t want to eat anything there. Everything looked bland and disgusting. There were sandwiches, some pedestrian pasta, some fried things, and some more fried things. Under the heat lamp though, there were some roasted chicken. It didn’t look too appetizing, but there were only 2 left so I suppose someone must like them enough to maintain the demand.

There were 4 people in the deli with me, and they all seemed to be in the same boat I was in…looking to settle for something somewhat palatable to satiate hunger. It was a weird experience because all of us were wandering aimlessly through the store, trying to figure out what to eat, much like the zombies in those horror movies looking for a delectable brain to munch on. 5 minutes go by and I don’t see anything appetizing. I realized that the best thing I could do was to buy that roasted chicken. I decided that, like most things in life, I needed to settle for the lesser of two…errr evil foodstuffs.

The interesting thing though, was that all four of us came to the same conclusion at the same time. I found myself heading toward the roasted chicken at about the same time everyone else headed toward those disgusting heat lamp apparatus holding our chicken things.

We were all adults so I didn’t think any one of us was going to run after it. But there was an understanding that two chicken baskets were not going to satisfy all four of us. The race was on. You could see the bodies tense up, ready to fight for that nasty chicken. Well, now that other people wanted it and because there was a limited supply, suddenly the look of the chicken seemed to go from nasty to palatable.

I am no competitor, but I’m also lazy as hell. I didn’t want to visit another establishment to find another alternative to dinner, going through the process of thinking all over again. So, I started to walk briskly toward the goal. As soon as I did that, everyone else started walking a little faster. Oh baby, it was on. We didn’t want to cause a scene but we also didn’t want to lose either. The pace picked up. I knew that at that point, I needed to pull some serious maneuvers to achieve victory. I decided to go for a shortcut through the big stack of Pepsi and around the coffee cart. There wasn’t much space but I managed to pull it off. I have the edge! I reached for the chicken. Success!! I clutched the chicken basket close to my chest, protecting it from the other predators. I swung around and headed for the cash register. The second competitor grabbed the second chicken and followed suit. The two losers stopped in their tracks, with faces showing great disappointment.

I got home excited about the victory. I opened up the basket to smell my glorious success. Gross. I took a bite. Nasty. I had hoped that the sweetness of my success would make the chicken more palatable. I was wrong. I wasted 6 bucks on a piece of shit. Sigh…story of my life. Well…at least I…err…won.

-----------

Steak story:

I was driving today when I saw a girl with an interesting shirt. Across her big breasts, the words “STEAK” was written on it. I didn’t understand the point of that shirt. Maybe the point is that there is no point. Steak is a metaphor for a lot of things, including but not limited to a man’s genitalia, an attractive male, and ribeye. Steak could not have referred to her breasts. Usually, they’re usually referred to as gozangas, boobs, melons, rack, airbags, tits, man-bottle, etc. but never “steak”. It’s a mystery.

------------

Bitch Story:

Acutally, there is no story. 

Disney is corrupting our kids

Product placement has gone out of control. This is a screenshot from the made for TV movie "High School the Musical" on the Disney Channel. If you look closely, the girl is holding a fancy cellphone. That phone is a Treo 650. Is this what they're teaching kids these days? Are they telling parents that they should shell out $400 bucks on a smartphone to turn their kids into hipsters? For shame Disney! As a proud member of the Christian Coalition and the Alliance on Morals, I must condemn this kind of behavior by Disney. After all, how is it that kids are using Treos when an adult like me don't even have one?

(If you're wondering, I am indeed jealous)

For shame Disney! For shame! 

Funny? Commercial

There was an advertisement on TV for PC/Windows Training Videos.

One lady in her 30s exclaimed that she loved the product. She went on to say that her daughter knew more about computers than she did.

She then said, "And my daughter is 3 and a half!"

I know I shouldn't laugh but I did. Of course, learning to use a PC is not easy. Everything is weird and confusing. She probably didn't grow up with computers like most kids these days. For some reason though, this commercial made me laugh.

Shameful shameful joy.

BLOG stalkers = Blogkers (Copyright 2006)

I've been reading several blogs on a daily basis. I like to read about crazy adventures around the world.

I've noticed over the months that a couple of people leave comments on various blogs with flirtatious and stalker like remarks for the blogger. They're not aggressive or blantantly horny but any "double-d" can figure out their intentions.

There is one blog in particular where this one guy leaves stupid/funny comments to every post. It's clear that the guy wants to get in her pants. It's also clear that the blogger does not know who this guy is. That qualifies him as stalker.

I find it weird watching this unfold. But can I really criticize what he's doing? Does he become a stalker just because it's some dude making funny comments on a female blog?

(Note: I see there is some irony in what i'm writing and doing. And NO, I'm not the stalker.)

Neolojizzm

I heard someone use a new word today on the street.

"STOLED"

Ok...it's NOT a new word...but the way it was used was new to me.

The guy said, "So yeah, he stoled my food and left me with nothing.

I think he was trying to say the preterit form of "steal".

Awesome.

Guns guns guns

I was watching some police program. I think it was "Cops" or some variation.

A man who lived in a small run down house with a really old broken down car had a concealed weapon on him.

It was a fucking Glock 27 with a hard chrome slider.

I thought to myself....how the fuck can he afford that? Did he steal it? Did he buy it from some shady dealer? Even if he did, it ain't no saturday night special. He must have paid more than 100 bucks for it.

Well...that's it. I thought you'd like to know.

The World Interrupted

(_)O(_)

Where's my hamburger?

Old People = Property Damage?

Since it's friday, I needed to restock my food supply. I was running low on everything, including basic needs like water and lay's potato chips.

After the shopping spree, I headed back to my car. As I was loading my bounty into my trunk, I saw an old lady push her cart toward her bourgeois Lexus to place her grocery bags in her fancy trunk . While she was loading her car, she lost her grip on the cart and the cart started to roll away from her. We weren't near a hill or anything but there was a decent slope. The cart started rolling faster and faster away from her. Now, a normal person would have run after it, trying to stop it from going Margo Kidder in the parking lot. This old lady, however, decided to look at me instead. I'm not sure why she looked at me. Did she want me to chase after it like her dog? Was she shocked that laws of physics still applied in this part of the parking lot? I didn't know the answer to those questions but one thing was clear. The cart was on a rampage.

The cart, which was going at tremendous speed, finally reached its destination.

The rear bumper of a BMW X3.

Even from where I was standing, I could see that the cart had made a sizable dent into the shiny bumper. I know that if I were the owner of that car, I would be looking for a baseball bat to kill murder the person who befouled my pristine car.

In any case, the cart slammed into the brand new car with a loud bucazzigga, a noise typically heard when metal meets fiberglass.

The old lady finally started to move toward the cart. She grabbed cart and pulled it away from the damaged vehicle like nothing had happened. She then placed the cart into the cart-holding- pen, with no sign of shame or remorse on her face. She then got into her car and drove off.

I finished putting my food into my car and thought about the shitty day the owner of the beamer was going to have. An unknown assailant violated his/her property and got away with it. What's worse is that the assailant showed no regret.

The story does not end there however.

I drove my car toward the grocery store exit and caught up to the old lady driving her Lexus. We both needed to make a left turn. It was not a protected left. The signal turned green and we inched toward the center of the cross street. There were many cars going straight so I knew we had some time before we could make a safe turn.

The old lady had other plans.

She decided she was going to make a left regardless of the rules of the road and the fact that cars going straight had the right of way. She cut off two cars going straight at her. Everyone blew their horn. The old lady didn't care. She wanted to make her left.

I waited for my turn and made a left. After driving a while, I caught up with her again. This time, as she was driving, she decided to make lane changes without signalling. Almost sideswiping several cars, she swerved back and forth in the busy highway, almost killing everyone.

There have been many attempts at pulling elderly drivers off the road. Legislators across the nation wrote bills attempting to find solutions to rampaging old motorists. AERP and other lobby groups continue to be very successful in blocking these attempts to take away the rights of the elderly. I'm not sure what the right answer may be but one thing is clear. One old lady caused about 1000 dollars worth of damage and almost killed 10 drivers today. This is clearly unacceptable.

Snack attack muthafucka!!

Today I had the case of the munchies. I needed a snack. I went over to Magnolia and got some cupcakes as well as a small latte. As you can see, it didn't take long for me to inhale one of the cupcakes. That's some good shit... 

VVinter VVonderland

It's finally over. The 'perfect storm' has passed and it left in its wake a winter wonderland...actually, I like to say vinter vonderland. It sounds better.

The world is seems peaceful...though it is far from the truth (see below). 

I haven't heard this one before.

 

The weatherman says 10-15 inches.

I awoke to the sounds of plows going into high gear. The snow has been coming down non-stop for the past 10 hours and everything you see is covered in cocaine-like substance. I can assure you that it's merely "cocaine-like" and not the real deal because I tried to snort it. Alas, I won't be able to sell any of this to the rich elementary school kids around town for gas money.

I wanted to get some breakfast but alas, God's wrath prevents me from doing so. I'm going to have a hell of a time digging my car out of this mess.

Whenever I see snow, I am reminded of the great movie "Die Hard 2: Die Harder". Maybe I could get Marvin to clean up this mess. Bah. He wouldn't do it. He'd probably just yell out nonsensical phrases like, "Just like Iwo-jima!"

Maybe later, I'll go and make a small snowman. 

 

The saga continues...

 

Uh oh...here we go!!

 

Nightfall...with little excitement

 

The calm before the storm

 

Storm is coming

Like Batman said in Batman Returns, storm is coming.
And much like Ras Al Gul, God (or possibly Buddha) will blanket this city of decadence with its wrath in the form of watery ejaculation.

The storm of the century (or rather the month) will hit tomorrow night.

There are non-stop warnings regarding this storm. They are asking residents to move their cars in certain areas so that the plows may do the voodoo that they do so well. They are canceling classes, meetings, and all events. Everything is shutting down.

Like the title of the oscar worthy movie starring Kirsten Dunst, I say BRING IT ON!

I have enough food to last me a month. (see below for the kind of food i have around the apt) I have enough water and various liquids to last me the same. I look forward to some asskicking.

However.

If you don't hear from me in the next few days, send help. I may be buried in 1000 feet of powdery death.

Bread from some chinese place.

 

Racist fan.

 

 

Foam cup pisses all over my table

Look at this shit. My foam cup is leaking. This is a brand new cup straight from the package. There must be microscopic holes all around the cup. I have never seen this before. 

Food Review

So, I went to trader joe's to buy some un-PETA-like caged chicken eggs for the week when I had the opportunity to taste some soy "milk".

Let us get something straight. I am no hippie. Other than my strict diet of organic vegetables, meats, and fruits, and my boycott of all things made by "the man" I find myself living the average mid-western joe's life. (Oh yeah, and I don't wear anything made by child/slave labor so I wear all things hemp)

In any case, I tasted Trader Joe's Organic Vanilla Soy milk. It was delicious. I haven't had soy milk in a long long time and this really brought back some memories.

You see, back in the way, my family couldn't afford cow's milk, for it was a luxury. Back then, the only "milk" we had came in powder form. And occasionally, the powder was of soy origin.

I became hooked immediately and bought two gallons of soy milk to drink for the week. In fact, I'm drinking some as I write this.

The moral of this blog entry is this: Go buy some Trader Joe's Organic Vanilla Soy Milk....it's Soy-tastic!

(This sight has no affliation with Trader Joe's...though if you'd like me to do some so-called guerilla marketing, I'm open to anything)

I am a moron

I have realized something.

I am a fucking moron.

I have very little time left on earth and yet I haven't experienced not even a percent of what humanity has to offer.

I am stuck in some dead end job that will, in the end, place me neatly into a stereotype-of-a-life. What a swell way to get off to a lousy start eh?

One thing I could do to alleviate part of my problem is to learn more languages. But since I'm a moron, it has been difficult. I wish to learn Japanese because I would like to read some of their crap. I would like to learn French because that's the other universal language. I would like to learn Chinese (both Cant and Mand) because it'll be easier to learn Japanese and Korean. And the fact that Mr. Bush has acknowledged China as an economic threat tells me i gotta adapt to a possible Chinese-dominated future. Besides, learning a language spoken by 1.5 billion people ain't too shabby. I would like to learn German because it sounds so cool. I would like to learn Russian because they also have "the bomb".

I also need to change my lifestyle. I sit around all day daydreaming about what it would be like to live under the sea. I need to focus on how to live here and now. My turkish roommate and friend used to have a screensaver on his 'puter that said, "Carpe Diem". I need to follow that advice.

Now if you'll excuse me...I'm going to go watch Master and Commander for the 20 time. I will re-live, in my mind, a life as a "left-tenant" on a British man-o-war in the 1800s.

Chingado...

MTV has finally destroyed TV

I was channel surfing when my TV ended up on MTV2.

I'll get right to the point.

MTV now has commercials DURING the show.

I must say again. They flash commercials DURING THE FUCKING SHOW!!!

First, they started with the stupid watermark in the corner of the screen. Then, I thought it was bad when they started flashing a large strip of advertisement RIGHT in the middle of the fucking screen telling me to watch some other shitty show during my program.

But now, these advertisements cover the ENTIRE screen. During this time, you miss what is going in the show you are trying to watch. The advertisement is not even translucent so you can sort of make out what's going on in the program you are trying to enjoy. It completely takes you out of the program and ends up pissing you off.

They don't care if they interrupt the program. This is the worst shit I have ever seen.

I was never an advocate of piracy. I don't pirate tv programs. I think MTV2 does this so that when people rip stuff, the watermark/ad can still be retained. Now I don't care anymore. Do that voodoo that you do so well.

Adventures in Garden State

I needed to visit good ol' state of New Jersey to purchase some goods.

The road to Jersey is a beautiful one. The highway cuts through a great forest and the view on both sides of the highway is incredible. It feels surreal driving alone during the day and I often open all my windows to breathe in the fresh air and become one with nature.

I feel like I'm experiencing a Walt Whitman poem in real life...without the homosexuality.

I'm enjoying the air flowing through my long brown hair when I happen to catch the speedometer.

100 mph.

SHIT! I start to look around and see that there are no cops or cars. Whew! I decide that I'll drive slower. I start to reduce my speed.

I wonder about the speed limit in this area when I finally see the speed limit sign in the distance.

45 mph.

I was driving 55 miles per hour over the speed limit. Granted, I was over the limit for only a short while but I was going WAY too fast. I reduce my speed to 55 and lock in the cruise control. I do NOT want to get a speeding ticket like Jeff and waste a day at some Godforsaken traffic school.

A few miles later, I see a hidden highway patrol police officer.

DOUBLE WHEW!!

He would have fucked me up for sho'.

A few miles later, I see two more cops.

Woah. They're ready to kick some ass.

Suddenly, I see another car rush past me at incredible speed. I think to myself, he's fucked.

Sure enough, the cops turns on the siren and a chase begins. I see the cars pull over after a couple of miles. BUSTED!!

~~to be continued~~

A (really boring) Day In My Life

(Stream of consciousness...begin!)

Freezing.

I wake up and find the weather to be extremely cold. I decide that I need a hat of some kind. I usually don't wear hats. I look like some kind of murderer.

I waddle over to K-mart and find a skull cap for one dollar. Success! The guy at the cash register looks as though he does not want to be there. In fact, he looks almost suicidal. He looks up at me. The expression on his face telepathically signal to me that he wanted me to kill him. I avoid pulling out my imaginary Glock 26 and put him out of misery.

I walk out of the store and observe the people around me. I have lived here for 1 year and a half now and I have made this astonishing observation.

Sadness.

No one smiles in this godforsaken state. I have observed that there exist in these parts 3 "moods" or "faces" one wears when an individual struts about in town.

1) The "I'm tired" face
2) The "I'm angry" face
2) The "I'm REALLY angry" face.

I find myself getting more and more depressed as I look at their faces and into their tired/angry eyes.

Pain.

I decide that I need to go the pharmacy to get my prescription filled for some cox2 inhibitors. My cartilage has been acting up.

I get to the local pharmacy and see a kind pharmacist. There is no smile but I could tell she wasn't a total bitch. (I'm pretty good at judging character just by looking at the contours of the face. It's my gift. Toot toot.) I give her the coveted prescription paper. She presses thousands of keys on her keyboard. 2 minutes....3 minutes...4 minutes...5 minutes go by and she's still typing away.

I ask her if there is anything wrong. I ask, "Is there anything wrong?"

"Your insurance requires a "pre-approval" before I can give you name brand drugs."

Shit. This is going to be a problem. If the drugs aren't life-saving, one probably has to wait for a generic alternative. And if I have to buy these drugs out of pocket, it's going to cost $100-$120 for my fill. I create an impromptu tmesis in my head: fan-fucking-tastic.

The kind pharmacist calls my doctor. The doctor, of course, isn't in. She leaves a message about the need to get the medication approved.

The pharmacist turns to me and says, "You're going to have to come back later. You can call us in a couple of hours. In fact, you might want to call the doctor yourself to see how long it might take to get the medication approved."

I curse the healthcare industry under my breath and head home. I look at the clock and I have wasted 2 hours on this affair.

I head to the local upscale mall. I'm starving at this point and they have my prescription for my hunger. Only they can satiate my desire for Ranch 1 chicken sandwiches.

Big fucking mistake.

There are 10 ferraris trying to get in the parking structure. I have never seen this many ferraris in my life. The most i have seen till now was at a dealership. And they only had 8 in the lot. I pass by the porsche 911 turbo to head to the alternate entrance. The porsche yupster gives me a dirty look. He adjusts his 3000 dollar Armani suit and then yells something at his wife/mistress next to him.

Happy fucking holidays.

I get in the parking structure and I see an attendant trying to manoeuvre all of the $100,000 cars into spaces. I feel totally out of place with my 1997 POS. I head higher and higher in the structure. I think to myself, "I gotta get away from these fuckers". Finally, I see some relief on the 7th floor. No cars. I park my car and head for the food court.

Chaos.

There is a million people in the food court. I say this without hyperbole. I count the people one by one and the total count comes to...okay, maybe it was a hyperbole but it was a lot of fucking people. (No, they weren't fucking)

I finally get to the food counter and order my chicken sandwich. I eat my food alone at a table designed to accomodate five. I feel self conscious because people are fighting for seats. I could sense a family of 5 giving me dirty looks for taking their table. I'm ready to rip their throats out if they give me lip. I enjoy my french fries and coke.

Time.

I look at my watch (actually, it's the clock on my cellphone) and see that it's time to call my doctor. I'm hoping he is in his office now. I call and I get his nurse. I give my name and am about to explain the situation when she interrupts me.

"Oh! I talked to the insurance company and they said it will take 24-48 hours to approve the drug payment."

"I see. Do I need to call you or does the pharmacy call me?"

"Wait a minute. You're that student right?"

"Yes."

"Hold on one second. Let me talk to the doctor."

....Minutes go by....

The nurse comes on the phone and says, "You're in luck. I searched through some departments and found some samples for you. It's a month's worth of drugs. Come pick it up when you get a chance."

Amazed.

I reply, "Thank you. Thank you very much. I really appreciate it."

I finish up my coke and head to my car. I'm racing to the office. Free drugs are worth the risk of getting a speeding ticket.

I get to the office. The kind nurse on the phone is nowhere to be found. Instead, I am greeted by the bitchy nurse. (How can I tell she's a bitch you ask? Well, my super powers of observation aside, she happened to act unkindly toward a patient just as i walked in.)

The surly nurse says, "Maaaaay I help you?"

"Yes, the kind nurse said she had some drugs for me."

The surly nurse looks up at me with her crooked eye (i really can't describe it well) and gives me the look of disdain.

"What is your name?"

I give her my name.

She sighs and walks over to the secret vault. She looks around and sees a bag with my name on it. Is this yours?

I say, "Yes'm"

She hands me the bag and leaves quickly. I wait for her to come back and I tell her, "Would you please tell the kind nurse thank you and merry christmas."

The surly nurse softens up a bit and replies, "Will do."

I leave the office with my bag of gold. I get to my car and guilt sets in. I realize that if i had to, I could have found some way of paying for this. I think about those who truly can't afford the drugs and have to choose everyday between eating and being pain free. This is some fucked up shit right here.

I don't return the drugs.

I head home to my apt. I turn on my computer and type a blog entry.

Yenemy comes online. He yibyabs about nothing in particular. Hehe.

THE END.

To WAR!

So there is a major transit strike in New York. It has pissed off a lot of people. Officials state that the city will lose close to 300 million dollars a day.

I don't know the details of the strike. Actually, I do know some details but it's a complicated mess with faults on both sides so I won't go into it.

What matters is that it's fucking cold, there are delays, and people are suffering. It is insane.

The world is in chaos. I'm surprised that world war 3 hasn't been declared. We have Iran's president going ape-shit over retarded things again. We have religious fanatics bombing shit all over the place. We have relgious fanatics introducing "intelligent design" in schools. We have relgious radicals trying to hijack enlightenment in America. We have the administration cutting funding for healthcare and education. Billions are spent on maintaining a war that we cannot pull out of. The president is spying on Americans (I find this extremely ironic because the shit coming out of our President/King's mouth is strangely familiar. They are the excuses of every tyrant in history from Nero to Bonapart.) Our leaders are lying and stealing money from the people (Delay, Frist, Cheney). The nation is divided.

George Bush promised that he would work to unite the country. I'm not sure exactly what he's doing but it's not working. I believe that when a candidate becomes President, he should no longer work for his party. He has the obligation to be inclusive in his decisions. He shouldn't exclude the views of half of America. Sadly, due to the two party system, this is not the case. I also find it ironic that republicans hold this president in such high regard. They treat him like a king. I find it surprising when common folk follow him without any thought. They're like lemmings. Democrats are no better. They have become spineless and have been whipped into submission. I hate both parties right now.

It's Christmas time but it doesn't feel so jolly.

If you're bored, take a look at this

http://www.planetboredom.net/video.php?id=210

-Praise Jesus

WTF?

Purpose and Review

This blog has absolutely no purpose. It is just a place to write stupid things. Therefore, I'm going to use it to keep a food journal and review all the shitty food I have eaten so that I may never make the same mistakes again.

So it begins:

Review: Trader Joe's Low Salt Chicken Chowmein

Grade: D+

Edible if you're desperately starving. The food is salty, sweet, and tastes nothing like how Chow Mein is "supposed to taste like". In two words, it sucks.
In one word, it-sucks-something-terrible.

Scale: A+ is ambrosia while an F- would be the taste of a demon spawn's filthy anus.

I'm watching you muthafucka!

It's interesting how easily one can "track" people visiting various websites across the globe. I know that some scan through the logged "paths of the internet" to see where people have come from and where they are going. Advertisers have been using this to track demographics and provide advertising data.

What I find interesting is that it can provide some really amusing situations.

I was reading someone's blog when they mentioned something about a former boyfriend. Apparently, this girl has been combing through the logs to see the kinds of people visiting her website. It turns out that one particular visitor is from New Zealand. She also mentions that the user was from a particular college. She goes on to say that there is no way in hell this could be some random person visiting her website and that it has to be her ex-boyfriend. She explains that her boyfriend just got up and disappeared to New Zealand one day and was never heard from again. She tried to contact him at the university but was unsucessful.

Her rant then began.

"I know it's you" she says. "Grow some balls and send me an email."

I couldn't stop laughing. She went through all that trouble to throw down the gauntlet.

In a personal story, a figure from our past, Mr. C. Bang contacted me through ICQ. He explained that he was living near me. My first reply was "bullshit". Then I replied, "Why the fuck would you be all the way over here?" To confirm his story, I tracked his ip. Sure enough, he was 30 miles away. FUCK. Now i have to go buy a gun. Damn stalkers.

What I had to deal with this morning...

Storm is coming!!!

Impact of a man

I often wonder about the impact an individual can make in this world.

We often think about great figures in history.

Hitler comes to mind because he was considered the modern age embodiment of evil.

I think of Newton and his approach to physics and calculus.

Utilitarian approach would deem these individuals exceptional in a way...

I met a man today who, because of his curiosity, discovered the cure to river blindness, a disease that devastated millions of people around the world.

This man also demanded that the only way he would work on this cure was if the company would donate the cure, free of charge, to all those who needed it in the poorest of countries.

I look at the man and I see nothing extraordinary. On the outside, he looks like any other man. He is humble and extremely kind. He doesn't seem to have an ounce of pretentious charcter in his body.

However, I imagined a scenario such as this at a school "bring your father to class" day:

Random Kid #1: My dad is a firefighter. He saves people from fires.
Random Kid #2: My dad works at a shoe factory. He makes the shoes you guys are wearing.
Random Kid #3: My dad is a plumber. He fixes your pipes when it's clogged.
Random Kid #4: My dad is a waiter at a restaurant. He brings you the food you eat.
Random Kid #5: My dad is a construction worker. He fixes the road.
Mr. Incredible's Kid: My dad cured river blindess and saved at least 18 million lives every year and will continue to save millions of lives for years to come.

Random Kid #6: ....Fuuuuck...


Don't get me wrong, I believe wholeheartedly that every individual contributes to society in many ways. I don't see myself as an utilitarian so numbers mean shit to me. I believe that a man cleaning up after us at a diner is just as important as the president of the United States.

But damn...it would suck for Random Kid #6.

Snow!

So it begins again, or shall I say here it ends...

Another year ends and snow season begins. I woke up to sounds of plows and ruckus. I could hear metal plows scraping the asphault and concrete push away mounds of snow.

I find this time of year the best time for introspection.

Winter reminds me of time that has passed....which reminds me how little time there is left.

What a grim outlook.

I found out recently that my personality is INFP. This is news to me.

I have always thought I was a "calculating" individual but alas, the "intuition" score was off the charts. I hate these standardized tests. Like many tests before (School entrance exams, IQ exams, SATs, etc.), I am placed neatly into a stereotype and it dictates what I'm "supposed" to be. Fuck you Carl Jung.

The personality test also told me another thing.

I'm in the wrong profession.

Damn it, my mother was right.

My mother's side has a tradition of developing artistic individuals. My grandmother is a writer. My uncle was a poet. My mother and my aunts are artists.

I feel like Marisa Tome in My Cousin Vinny. She too should have been a mechanic instead of what she eventually had become....an out of work hairdresser.

Megan McCormack

A friend didn't know anything about Megan McCormack.

She is here:



I was shocked because unless you're a hermit, you know about Megan. She hosted several segments on the TV show called GlobeTrekker. It was the most popular show of the 8:16 pm - 8:33 pm partial time slot. It is the TV version of Lonely Planet. Anyway, she was great.

So CHILLAX, pull up a stool, and enjoy.