Teacher, I have a question.

Can you be both "elegant" and "down-to-earth"? I always thought elegance describes a superfluous component. I need grammar police/english teacher input on this one.

Poisoned!

I was poisoned the other day. Someone kept telling me to drink this vile liquid and I had no choice to agree. It was for the greater good. Remember that scene in Harry Potter 6 where Harry and Dumbledore are looking for the Horcrux in the cave? They had to keep drinking that water in the bowl so they could get the locket? Yeah, it was like that. But before you say I am like Dumbledore, I will say that I am like him in the sense that I am courageous. I am not like Dumbledore the gay dude who wears Velveteen. There, I stopped the gay jokes. I don't want to read anything in the comment section about that.


I think it was the Port that did it. That port was vile. It was gross because it was sweet. Also, the bone marrow butter didn't agree with me very well. I know it was supposed to be a delicacy and shit but the Chinese suck bone marrow for breakfast and oxtail is plentiful. Suck on that Europe.

This is not me...but I thought it was a funny picture

Good thing I didn't barf inside my friend's car. Actually, I think it would have been funny. I asked the next day whether or not I left any gifts in his car in the form of predigested and partially digested foodstuffs and he said there weren't any. I think I puked most of it in the parking lot of that Denny's. (Sorry Denny's employees about the mess in the parking lot. But that barf is worth 180 dollars...so it wasn't some shitty bar food that I left there at night for you guys.) But, I hope at least I left some of the putrid smell in the car. That way, it can remind him of the fun times in life.

In any case, I am sad that the weekend is over. I will say again Happy Birthday to the driver of that car since it's his birthday today. I wish we can do something today but sadly I'm at work listening to people's problems. Hopefully, the week will be somewhat painless and without too much drama so that this weekend, I can relax. I say, we should try to go to Red Robin. I feel like eating some of those fries...

Today is a day of reflection

Today, I will think about what I have done in the my life and assess whether this is where I want to be.

If I had to give myself a grade today, I would give myself a "B". I don't think I have completely fucked up my life but at the same time, there is definitely room for improvement.

I wonder what my life will be from this point on. Is it going to be just more work day after day? Are there any surprises waiting for me? Will I die soon? I wish I can predict the future. I wish I had the perfect plan. However, I have to do what I can with what I have.

When I was younger, I never wanted to grow up. Other kids may have wanted to get older faster but not me. Some kids wanted to age so they can go to that rated-PG13 movie and then eventually Rated R. I was never in a hurry (Actually, I don't think the movie thing applied to me since I saw all of that shit before age anyway.) Some wanted to turn 16 so they could drive. Some people couldn't wait to turn 21 so they can drink legally. I didn't. I just didn't want to grow up and face more responsibilities and hardship..

At this point in life, there are no more artificial milestones to achieve. I can drive, drink and do whatever the fuck i want. I guess the only thing left is get to the age where I can collect social security but I don't even know if that will be available. I guess the other thing is when I can start getting senior discounts.

In any case, I will spend the weekend thinking about all of these things and come monday, it will be another beginning of the week.

Is that all there is....?

Kai Shun Mandolin Professional Slicer

Can you believe this shit costs over 200 bucks?!?!?

This thing better be able to slice open a bean can for that price.

Deliciousness: Petite Brownie Bites

Petite Brownie Bites from Costco is pretty damn good. It packs a ton of goodness into a small package. The problem is that it also packs a hefty calorie count in that soft brown cupcake like profile.

I would recommend you buy it and try it. It's definitely worth the 10 bucks. This thing will last you a month or so. It's fantastic with milk or vanilla ice cream. Go get it!

* Sent via BlackBerry *

Hanken cels

One of my pieces (For the 100th time, it's not for sale) - And yes, it's A1 bitches! hahaha

I used to be a collector of cels. Well, I guess since I never actually gave up collecting, I am still a collector. However, I took a break after...well, the entire industry went digital and "cels" were no longer painted by hand but rather done in photoshop or photoshop-like digital environments.

This is a shame because these cels were amazing. Of course, the quality depended on the "frame" and whether it was an A, B, or C cel but I always appreciated the fact that in the slave labor like environment, a human took the time to dip paint/ink and draw on some plastic for the world to see for a fraction of a second.

In any case, my dream was to collect 1 or 2 super high quality pieces from various series so that I can look back 30 years from now and reminisce. I never collected these things so that I can make a profit. I just thought they were really interesting and I figured this hobby would expand my understanding of the world a little more. I would have purchased more cels but the problem of course was money.

These fucking things were really expensive. My friend always brings up the time when I asked him for 400 bucks out of the blue. It was a shame because he only had 300 bucks. Still, I managed to find the money and buy the fucking thing. AND, i managed to get it signed by inoue kikuko. (Guess which cel I got? heh)

The most coveted cels in my opinion were Hanken cels. These were ultra-rare cels that were hand painted and were depictions of key frames/poses of characters and scenes from a series. They were usually created to make covers for albums, dvd boxes, stickers, and other merchandise. Therefore, the detail and quality of these original one of a kind pieces were superb...and super expensive. Also, these were almost never released to the public. The only way you can get these things required unusual circumstances....which I imagine involved some sort of sex act. But once in a blue moon, you could get them because, i imagine, some desperate employee sold them to buy more sexual favors or to buy ladies of the night.

I was surfing the web today and I found some old school hanken cels for sale. Guess what, each piece costs >$6000 bucks. Seriously, one fucking cel costs over 6 grand. I remember these things selling for 500-1000 bucks back in the day but now....it's ridiculously expensive.

I guess I'll never own any more of these things. Most have been bought up by collectors years ago or have been destroyed. Other interesting ones, like the Disney "hanken" will never ever be sold again. I have a few Babs and Buster bunny but who cares about that shit right?

Sigh. Anyway, I guess I felt like thinking back to the good ol' days...

Birthdays

There are many people with September birthdays. This poses a problem. I am only one person and I can't make it to all of these parties.

I also saw this. Is this the birthday present for someone I know?



Stay tuned.

I went to taco bell and I saw this...

Follow America's lead.

And yes, the girl's name is America.

This girl looks really awkward posing in that ugly yellow shirt/sweater. Those clothes do not suit her. First of all, the girl looks like she usually wears goth clothing when off work. Second, she's the manager ffs. Why she in wearing those WASPy clothing? She sold out her hispanic heritage and became Rush Limbaughed.

Challenge to the Third

As I mentioned a few days ago, there are 3 people that read this blog at most. I know the two that come by from time to time but I don't know who the third person is.

I challenge that person/bot to leave anonymous messages in the comment section. Don't worry, I won't track your IP address or anything like that. I just want to hear what you have to say. I don't like voyeurs. I keep the anonymous comment feature on so people can bitch and moan without having to identify themselves.

So introduce yourself.

Steve Jobs is dead

Or is he?

Remember that fiasco a few months back regarding Steve Jobs, CNN, and premature death announcement? Apple's entire future rests on this guy getting better. If I were Apple, I would definitely spend all of the money to keep this guy alive. If it means getting him an artificial body to sustain his head, I would do so. I would "buy" the best minds of the world to develop a cure for this guy's disease. Because when he dies, Apple will die with him.

And why is that? I thought other people were working on product development? Why is he so special?

In any case, I haven't seen him much in public lately. He needs to make appearances like at MTV music awards or some shit like that. That would keep the stock holders happy.

Or perhaps he's already dead and Apple is covering it up. Maybe his lifeless body is next to Walt Disney in Cinderella's Castle/Cryogenic Chamber 5000. Maybe the recent event that he hosted was all smoke and mirrors and shit. Can anyone prove that he's alive? He needs to attend a public venue, like my birthday party to prove to the world that he's still in the physical realm.

anonymity

Although I own several websites, I find myself enjoying blogging here the most. The reason, of course, is because I post anonymously about various topics that piss me off. I know that there are at most 3 readers out there but the point of this blog wasn't to gain some exposure or become famous in any way. This is a place where I rant and vent my frustrations with life. I enjoy writing about random shit day to day. I don't worry about being politically correct or worry about grammar. Plus, I use the website to post things that I want to remember for another day.

In my line of work (sales rep for Sax Fifth Ave), I have to deal with a lot of assholes. I can't vent my frustrations with coworkers because ...well, I complain about a lot of them. I can't vent my frustrations to my customers because that would be unprofessional. So this blog is my sanctuary.

Psychiatry - YOU need it!

What the hell is wrong with people? I think most of the people I talk to every day you should get some form of psychiatric evaluation.

My day started out okay but then I had a very difficult client.

This person used to be in the health industry. That makes shit difficult. Then, looking at the history, I could tell this was not going to be a happy day.

Multiple complaints about multiple things. Ruled out almost every fucking disease known to man. And then this person comes to me saying no one is listening to her. When I bring up the fact that a psych eval might help, she flips out saying she's not crazy or depressed. She doesn't understand why everyone is saying this.

I'll tell you why.

It's because you are nuts. Do you really want help? You should go see a psychiatrist or a psychologist. You don't want to? Okay, then you're going to be miserable for the rest of your life. Suck it.

And that brings me to another point. What is the deal with this hatred for psychiatrists? They are here on this earth for a reason. They are here to protect me from all of you crazy fucks.

This is how I determine whether you need to see a psychiatrist:

1) Do you hate psychiatrists with a passion?

If the answer is yes, you DEFINITELY need to see a psychiatrist because you are a certifiable nutjob. Seriously, you are a mirror image of Tom Cruise and you need to get your crazy ass to a clinic ASAP.

2) Do you have a shit load of medical problems but doctors are telling you there is nothing wrong with you?

If the answer is yes, you need to get your sorry ass to a psychiatrist. Everyone thinks you're fucking crazy. So give us a break from your batshit craziness and see a therapist.

3) Are you a guy who thinks psychiatrists are for wimps?

If the answer is yes, you are such a fucking pussy that random people should kick the shit out of you every day. Go see a therapist and get your sorry ass on some mind altering drugs so I don't have to deal with you.

4) Are you a parent that thinks kids in America are on too many mind altering drugs?

If the answer is yes, you need to be locked up. First, I think these parents should be on mind altering drugs because they are fucking stupid and I don't want to hear from them. The way I see it, the reason we don't have an even shittier society is because these kids are on drugs. So suck on that assholes. Next, the kids are fucked up because the parents are fucked up or are a bunch of morons. Either way, that entire family needs some intervention fast.

Fucking fuckers.

Do you think I had a shitty day? Well, do you?

The Swayz...

Well, he has passed on. Like the movie Ghost, he has moved on from the physical world. This was expected, as pancreatic cancer he had did not have a great prognosis.

I was actually surprised when it was announced that he had started a new show. I thought that I had overestimated the aggressive nature of his cancer.

Now the question is, how long will Steve Jobs live with his cancer?

RIP Swayz...

Where are you from?

I was checking the blog activity for the first time in a year and I found that that there may be three or so unique visitors to my site. I think I can guess 2 of them but who is the third? Who are you? Why are you reading my blog? More importantly, are you spying on me? I want to know!

* Sent via BlackBerry *

Have you been trying to contact me?

"Don't talk to me like you know me."
- Great Sage Rosie Perez

I realized that people are leaving me messages and I'm missing a lot of calls from people. I need to clarify, I am not trying to avoid you....or am i?

I need to let you know the time period in which I may be able to pick up the phone.

I come home around 5-6pm. Before this, rarely will I pick up personal calls because I'm at work and am elbow to elbow with colleagues. I can't talk about personal things in front of these people and I'm usually using the phone to look shit up anyway.

Sometimes, I come home around 8-9 pm. This means that I cannot pick up the phone until then.

I go to sleep around 9-10pm. This means that I do not pick up the phone when I'm in bed. No exceptions. I used to pick up phones, answer calls and shit which led me to become absolutely bonkers the next day at work. Besides, I don't even hear the phone anyway in my deep slumber.

I wake up around 5 am and go to work by 6am. This means that I'm not going to be able to talk to people during this time because I'm in a rush.

On the weekends, it's hit or miss because I work one weekend and rest one weekend with similar daily schedules.

So there you have it. That is my schedule.

What is the best way of contacting me? Email or text. Don't bother with voice mail. My voice mail box has been backed up since months ago.

If it's truly an emergency, please call 911.

What what?

I feel like I just went to hell and back. I'm exhausted.

Now that I have a lighter schedule for a little while, I need to put myself together and continue my life. Of course, come November, this shit is going to start all over again...except it will be 100 times worse...

What the fuck am I doing again?

I need to look forward to the little things in life again. I really need an alcoholic beverage.

Sleeeeeeeepy

I'm really sleepy.

Anthony

If you haven't already, go watch No Reservations Outer Borough.

3 more days...

3 days left.

Tomorrow is another painful day. I have to stay super late.

Thursday will suck even more since I have to deal with all of the problems presented on Wednesday.

And then Friday, I have a presentation and I have a very limited amount of time to finish my work.

Last three days will suck big time.

I can't wait until the weekend.

Obsession #2194

I am obsessed with Lay's Kettle Cooked Jalapeno Extra Crunchy Potato Chips.

They are fucking fantastic.


Every bite reminds me of Mexico, where Jalapenos are plentiful and spiciness is a way of life.

Seriously, go try 'em. You'll be blown away like that movie, Blown Away.

Coffee!

I am really sad that there is a limited selection of affordable mill and brew machines. I didn't realize that the world we live in does not have a decent affordable multitasking machine that brews that perfect cup of coffee.

I'm also sad that these "pod" coffee machines are so fucking expensive. What the hell? K-cups are expensive. Nespresso caps are expensive as hell. And the senseo shit is basically the same thing.

These assholes need to drop the price on these things. It's ridiculous.

"Prepare for pain tonight"

This is what my "boss" told me just minutes ago:

"Prepare for pain tonight. It's not going to be a fun night for you."

What does this mean?

Right now, I have about 15 minutes to eat dinner and prepare for the onslaught.

Why am I doing this?

BTW, to the one of two readers that read my blog, I will say this,

You should definitely do what i'm doing.

I hope I survive the week

I really hope I survive. I'm so tired.

And so it begins. Hour 1/30.

Woo.

Basement

Tomorrow, if i have time (yeah right), I will be reporting in from the basement again.

Labor Day?

While many folks enjoy the long weekend, I will be working. Monday is not a holiday. That was made clear by the higher-ups.

I will be spending Labor Day laboring.

I posted the picture above because I thought it was interesting. I have no idea what anne hathaway has to do with labor day but whatever.

Losing my mind

Today I realized I was losing my mind.

I couldn't remember the access codes to the doors I use everyday. I just couldn't remember for some reason. It was really strange.

Countdown

I have 7 days left...
Tomorrow is another 30 hour hell.

Save me jeebus.

Weekends (or at least one day off)

Resting for two days on the weekend is really important. It's really important for the body and mind. Seriously, I want to destroy the person who thought working 12 days in a row and then getting two days off was a great idea. Absolutely stupid.

I have noticed that by the 9th day, I'm pretty much so exhausted that I want to die. I become grumpier and become annoyed easily. For example, last week, I didn't realize I was cussing all morning walking down the hallway until I noticed people were staring at me.

Basement, yet again

I am writing this in the basement of my work. I have finished 17 hours and will need to finish 13 more hours before my shift ends. It has been a rough night so far. I have not had a chance to eat dinner and it's midnight. I think I'll eat this banana pudding and coke. Yummers.

Bummer

I don't know why but I've feeling a bit down recently. I think it may be due to the fact that I'm just really tired. This is bad because it's only 3 months since I started the new job.

Or perhaps I'm feeling a bit down because I have nothing to look forward to. I have no ambitious goals for myself for the future. I feel like I've done what I can with my life and I just don't see anything new or exciting in the future. This is a problem.

What should I do? Should I plan a trip? Should I do something different?