Rethink Church...wha?!?!

Are they serious?

What the fuck are we rethinking? Are they saying that Church has a reputation of lameness but it's really cool and hip? Is that what we're rethinking?

Newsflash: Church is NOT supposed to be cool and hip. You don't play at church. You worship and go home.

"What if church was a verb"

Ugh.

I saw a commercial for this new...I'm sorry...nouveau crusade and I was really embarrassed for them.

Okay, who are they trying to reach here? These ridiculous campaigns seem to preach to the choir. I use myself as a gauge (because I'm always right) to determine whether a particular campaign works or not and I must say, in my non-humble opinion, this one sucks. It's also disturbing to me. I feel like at any minute God is going to throw a lightning bolt at these people because this campaign is so cringe-worthy.

"Powered by the Holy Spirit, 'Rethink Church' serves as a catalyst that moves the denomination, and those we hope to reach, into dialogue -- and ultimately, into transformative, collaborative action."

What...the...fuck... What is this? It makes absolutely no sense. Are they saying that they recognize non-believers right to exist and that they will allow them to co-exist with the righteous believers as long as we work to better mankind? Or is this quote another way of saying that they intend to assimilate everyone Borg style into their collective to get stuff done (ie spread the gospel)?

If God was here, I think he would be angry...like Old Testament angry. Remember when God didn't like people deviating from his plans? He does not want people to hang out and play ball in his house of worship.


Granted, I think their intent is somewhat noble, since most of their community service events end with the aid of others but why do they have to taint their altruism with this stupid shit?

Oh yeah, and the stuff that they're trying to imply regarding the worship of YHWH is pure blasphemy. Even I know that the stuff they're trying to sell on TV is blasphemy. Playing ball? Having fun? Laughing about God?

No way.

If you're one of those people that feel that all the stuff that Presbies and Methos are doing is a proper evolution of the religion, I really think that I will see you tied up next to me in the afterlife.

Hey, I just had an epiphany. For the next campaign, they should release a hip-hop gangsta rap album that deals with the Holy Spirit trying to survive in the ethereal ghetto. Is that blasphemous enough for you?

Enough of my rambling rant.

I will make my recommendation. United Methodist, please, stop this ridiculous campaign. Instead of spending money on this crap, quietly help others in need.

And when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Hmm...where did I hear this?

"The Scribes and Pharisees were guilty of two great faults in prayer, vain-glory and vain repetitions"

Do it quietly and with some dignity ffs.

Okay, I was going to end right there but I have one more thing to say.

I have always had a problem with missionary work and spreading the gospel through "good deeds" that everyone talks about. Even as a kid at church and at church functions, I really felt dirty and guilty. I feel that these missions are deceptive. For example, organizations want to feed the homeless. That's fine. They want to relieve hunger. That's fine. They lure people who are hungry for food (NOT hungry for God) into their huts or hives or whatever and then when they're near, BAM!!!, they pull out the word of God and start their commercial. What up wit dat? And since these people who are eating the food are guilt-tripped into staying and listening, they have no choice but to nod their head and thank people for the food AND God. I hate product placement in movies and TV and I hate product placement in real life. I cannot be alone in feeling this. As a kid, I would see homeless people come to eat some food but while they are eating, these missionaries start shoving God's truth down these poor people's throats along with the turkey dinner. Unbelievable.