Hallow!

How is everyone? Halloween is here but it means very little to me now. I get the day off tomorrow and I'll probably just sit around but I won't be searching for candy or brownie bricks this year.

I woke up this morning to this. This is one of the local channel news and they all dressed up as some sort of hick variant. One guy in the back though had a cool costume. He dressed up like Cobra Commander from the Cartoon series. I wish I could have taken a picture of THAT but they only showed him for a few seconds before they went back to this crap.

Anyway, I was going to write about some dream I had but I forgot it. I don't know if it was about a buffet or something shiny...sadly, these two descriptions are the only things I remember.

If i remember what happened, i'll post it.

Making a Donation

I have a huge debt. I'm drowning in it. In fact, I have drowned.

However, I decided today that I should contribute to the state fund by making a forced contribution to the local authorities in the sum of $410. That's right. $410.

Why so much you ask? The amount is as big as my figurative heart...or rather I should say the amount is as high as the speedometer reading on my car.

Happy Christmas to the state.

Oh, after paying my donation, I now have $30 in my bank account. Huzzay.

I guess I have to postpone my trip to French Laundry.

The Lady on the Freeway Overpass

Every morning on my way to work, I see an African-American female in her 50s waving to cars passing under her on the bridge going across the freeway. She is there everyday and I believe she spends hours standing there on the fence waving to every car she sees. She has a push cart of some kind, and I don't really know if she has it because she's homeless, if it's because she cannot walk or if she's coming back from the grocery store.


She is smiling the entire time and she looks directly at the driver of every car that comes near. I don't know how well she could see the fast moving individuals from the bridge where she stands but I imagine during traffic congestion, she can see the responses on people's faces.

I always find her behavior uplifting. I don't know why. She seems so happy. In fact, she looks ecstatically happy. Sure it seems like odd behavior and there is a high probability that psychosis of some kind is involved here but nevertheless, I think she brings some smiles to people's faces because she seems so damn happy...and that's infective.

I tried to take a picture of her but it never comes out right. My iphone camera is terrible. Perhaps I should just refrain from posting it anyway.

Chef

My friend is an aspiring chef. On his food blog, he posts many of his accomplishments. One post dealt with making a Genoise. I too wanted to try my hand at making one. Here is the result.

Mine came out like a pancake. Perhaps it's because I used Aunt Jemima pancake mix and followed the pancake recipe but I was hoping for a miracle.

I just wanted to post my breakfast, that's all.

Waffles

I want to eat some waffles. My previous workplace had a waffle machine but I never had a chance to really use it because I had very little time.

I want to buy the Waring Pro 300/330 from Costco. I purchased one for a friend for Xmas but the reviews are saying that it can short out. Of course, the fix is relatively inexpensive and quick (swap out the fuse) but I worry about the quality.

I've used this machine at work though, and it makes fantastic waffles. So I don't know if I should spend the 60 bucks for it knowing that I will have to swap out the fuse in a few months...

Btw, the other ones are sucky.

So many choices.

Writing

During the course of a day, I think about a shit load of stuff I want to write about.

Unfortunately, by the end of the day, I'm too tired to care and I forget most of the shit.

So, I decided to post this since I found these two music videos that were amusing.

This one is a group called Norazo. This song is titled Superman. It's english subbed.



This one is about Mackerel. Unfortunately, it's not subbed. I don't really know the exact translation of the lyrics but they are basically praising the mackerel. I just like the dancing.



Apparently, this group wanted to stand out/apart from all of the boy and girl bands in the industry singing pop/r&b. They apparently wanted to write a funny song about some random shit and this is what they came out with.

I like the Mackerel song. They talk about the round eyeballs, they call the fish beautiful, they talk about the hot sun of the pacific ocean, and the wide blue ocean. What more do you want in a song? If you find the translated lyrics to this in english, let me know.

Improv Everywhere strikes again.

Accidents!

I hate car accidents on the highway/freeway. I hate them because of the rubbernecking retards that are on the road. What is so interesting? Are you looking for dead people? What the hell is wrong with you???


People start braking when they pass these accidents even though there are absolutely no hazards in their path. The accident may be WAAAAY off the road but it doesn't matter because these assholes step on the brake to see what's going on. There should be a fucking law against this. If you do it, you should be shot on sight. That way, in order to AVOID the gunshot, people would ignore these accidents and drive on.


Why am I ranting today? Well, it's because it took me 5.5 hours to get home because of 5 accidents. The roads were clear but these assholes had to look. What happened you ask? I don't know. I don't RUBBERNECK.

Not-Enough-In-N-Out

We have several In-N-Outs in the area but the demand far exceeds supply in this town. I feel like EVERYONE eats in-n-out everyday. I don't deny they are tasty and I love the fries too but I don't go there everyday, sheesh....I just go every other day.

Yesterday, the In-N-Out drive thru line was so long and filled with so many cars, I thought I was seeing a traffic jam on an LA freeway. There had to be at least 100 cars lined up. That is no hyperbole. It was never ending. The parking lot that the In-N-Out is located in serves as parking spaces for the mall. Fuck the mall. The entire place should be In-N-Out only parking. There were three In-N-Out employees outside in the parking lot taking orders. It was the only way they could keep things civil. People were shouting and yelling at each other saying that they were first. When the employees took the order, you had to stay in that order lest your food get mixed with the asshole you were fighting with.

You may ask, why didn't you go to another In-N-Out? Well, they're all this way in this town. Dinner time = In-N-Out time. You may then ask, "why not try another establishment?". I would answer, no. When I have my heart set on something, I have to have it.

So anyway, it took an hour to get my food. Was it worth it? Yeah it was.

BTW, I don't undertstand the criticism dished out by those who do not enjoy In-N-Out fries. What more do you want? These things are basically potatoes that are cut fresh and then fried. That's it. They don't put any other shit in there. What more can you want? Perhaps people enjoy the frozen flavor of other fries at other restaurants?

Nails

"Are you going to the prom?"

This is what people need to ask you when you are preparing yourself to
go to the doctor's office. If you are going to ask the doctor to look
at, say your hand for example, you should wash said hand and not have
crap all over it.

I was waiting at the doctor's office when one of the patients started
talking to me. He apparently had some problem with itchy hands. I
looked at the hands and I thought, "I know what's wrong". This guy's
hands are dirty and dry. Maybe he should wash, moisturize and repeat.
I'm no doctor but I thought those things wouldn't hurt him.

His fingernails were long, dirty, gross and nasty. What the fuck? (Say it like Joey Lauren Adams character in Mallrats)

That brings me to my point. What the fuck is the deal with long ass dirty nails? Why the hell can't you cut your nails? I never understood this. I have seen people with long ass fucking finger and toe nails with BLACK crap under it. And they're complaining about shit going wrong with them??? CUT THE NAILS assholes!!

And get this shit. People want referrals to podiatry so that they can get their toenails trimmed. Seriously, is this where our health care dollars are going? We're cutting nails and shit for retards???!?!?

Suzanne Somers: We Love You!

Suzanne Somers must be the most lovable retard on TV right now. She's selling her new scam book titled, "Knockout" and she's making people rethink the way we treat cancers.

But I am angry at her. I'm not mad because she's trying to sell stupid morons her retarded concoctions but because she stole my ideas for recipies to cure cancer. (I imagine the Nobel committee is preparing to award her with the prize in medicine next year as we speak). At the end of the post, I'll will post a killer..erm..i mean cure-ific recipe for fighting breast cancer.

I'm all for home remedies. If it keeps stupid fucking morons at home and out of our already crowded hospitals because they are trying this shit, I fully support it. But please, if you're going to go with the so called natural path and your disease gets worse, DON'T come into the hospital during your last hours on Earth. We don't need to spend 1 million dollars trying to correct all of the natural crap you did to your body.

I've come to the conclusion that because our resources are so damn limited, keeping morons out of the hospital and sending them faster into the graves are the only options we have left. Is this heartless? Possibly. But my heart belongs to people with some sense, not the tools reading the garbage that the whore from three's company sells on tv. I'm also looking at you Oprah. If I see you getting Chemo, I'm going to call God and tell on you because you should go straight to hell.

Sure, suzanne somer's book recipes were never tested against conventional therapies that were developed over years of research but who cares? I mean, I had great ideas too while taking a shit and Suzanne Somers should have the right to kill as many people as she wants with the ideas she got during her cocaine binge. I wonder, what is the name of the clinical trial where she tested all of her theories? I ask because patients ask this all of the time about conventional therapies and yet when it comes to natural shit, no one cares. I think she and Kevin Trudeau should team up and write the ultimate book titled, "Ultimate: Cheating Death and Spitting in the Face of God".

I also think that Suzanne Somers should be personally liable for the methods in that book. If people die faster because of her cures, she should be ready to compensate them. In fact, I think every one of those retards with cure-all books should be liable. That way, we can save some paper and keep some of those crazy ass shit off the shelves.

Anyway, I'm sure everyone has been waiting for this. My breast cancer cure:

Ingredients needed:
5 Chicken breasts (It makes sense right?)
2 cups of Milk - specifically Lactaid (Must be whole milk with vitamin D)
1 cup Human breast milk (just ask a lady on the street breast feeding)
Antioxidants (Umm...just grab any vegetable at the Supermarket)
I 1 cup of Boba (means boob in chinese...clearly logical)
Dozen Hooters brand hot wings (hotter the better)
Single strand of Suzanne Somers' hair (pubic is preferable since pubes have hormones right?)
Enema tube

Mix these ingredients in a large bowel with 1 cup of Milk. Then blend. Then bake in oven for 25 hours at 200 degrees F. Then pour into a blender and mix with 1 cup of human breast milk and 1 cup of cow milk. When you get a nice thick sauce, place in enema tube and start squirting it into your anal hole. Within weeks, your ass should smell like...a worse smelling ass. At that point, you should be cured from breast cancer. I may reveal more secrets in future posts. But I'm writing most of them in my next book, "My recipes are better than Kevin and Suzanne's recipes".

Big breakfast vs Sausage biscuit with egg

Sausage Buscuit with egg (coffee and hashbrowns not shown)

Does anyone know what the difference is between a McDonald's Big Breakfast combo and McDonald's Sausage Biscuit with Egg combo other than the price? Are they not the same components?

Big Breakfast (coffee not shown)

Am I paying extra for the fucking plate? Do I get something more??? I need to know!

Hey Chef, can you ask your culinary teacher about this? Is it just the size of the egg? The amount of egg they give you seems similar every time I've tried both.

I hate being ripped off.

Sandwiches...I don't like 'em

Some people love sandwiches. I am not one of them.

I don't know why but I don't like sandwiches anymore. I don't like any kind of sandwich, even with meats or cuts I normally enjoy. Don't get me wrong, if a sandwich is presented to me, I'll eat it. However, I will not actively search to buy one for a meal.

I'm trying to figure out why I don't like them. Could it be that I ate so much of it during childhood I am sick of it? Or could it be that I had Subway sandwiches every other day during school that I no longer crave bread and meat?

I would rather eat tacos and burritos. I would rather just eat the meat by itself. I would rather eat a steak rather than a steak sandwich.

If on a menu, all other items are unappetizing, I would probably get a sandwich.

I reaffirmed my disdain for sandwiches yesterday when I purchased a pastrami sandwich.

It was blah.

Cougars! ROWR!!

When I say the word "Cougar", what comes to YOUR mind?

Is it this?

Or, do you think of this?

Webster dictionary defines Cougar as: a large powerful tawny-brown cat (Felis concolor) formerly widespread in the Americas but now reduced in number or extinct in many areas —called also catamount, mountain lion, panther, puma.

*YAWN*

Websters is soooo 1985.

I really like Urban Dictionary's definition(s) of cougar, especially the most popular definition:

An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.

I would argue that more often than not, the milf or hottie comes to mind for most people when it comes to cougars and not the bloated horn-meister. And thanks to shows like Sex and the City, Demi Moore, Dr. Quinn in Wedding Crashers and reruns of Golden Girls, we reinforce that stereotype.

I will tell you, however, that outside of movies and Hollywood, cougars are anything but glamorous. The reality is that these cougar relationships can be really disturbing.

I had a run in with a cougar the other day. I will first quote a famous archeologist and say, "Nothing shocks me, I'm a scientist."

I will admit though, in this instance, I was close to being shocked.

I was interviewing two people who I thought were mother and son when I realized that this was not the case. The mother was in fact the girlfriend. When the woman said, "I noticed my boyfriend was acting weird and pushing me away in bed at night," I did a double take.

This woman was 58 years old. The guy was 31 years old. The woman did not look her age. In fact, she looked 68 years old. She looked tired, worn out, wrinkled and without botox. Her breasts had sagged with age and the sun damage to her skin was extensive. She had a ill-look about her. Her skin was rough, her face was scarred and her hair was somewhat disheveled. She had a 4th grade education and it was hard for her to comprehend things.

The guy was my customer but he never said a word. The woman did all of the talking. I listened to their/her story and realized what was happening.

Here is the summary:
1) The guy was faking an illness and he was mooching off this woman without her knowledge.
2) The woman treats this guy like the son she never had AND the lover she never had.
3) The guy is a fucking tool.
4) The guy was ripping off the government, obtaining SS for a disability that he did not have.
5) The woman has psych issues.
6) The guy is poor, the woman works but makes a salary that is below poverty line.

This is the story of this cougar and her buck. This is reality.

I was pretty annoyed by this encounter. Honestly, age shouldn't be a factor and I care not that the woman is much older than the guy. Who the fuck cares. If they love each other, then it doesn't matter.

The problem is, it was so fucking clear that the guy was taking advantage of this woman for her money. As minuscule of an amount that may be, the guy was using her so he doesn't have to work. He sits at home and plays video games all day. And before you say, "the guy probably gives her companionship and sex in return", I will say, he does not. He rarely puts out. Plus, he attributes his apathetic attitude toward the woman to the disease he doesn't have.

But I can't completely sympathize with this woman either. She is an enabler and she is so desperate for...well, human contact that she is willing to overlook everything. And she lost a few marbles in Neverland while flying around in her coked up state.

This encounter brought me back to reality. Hollywood cougars may prowl around in certain clubs in LA but the reality is that many more cougars in suburbia may be like the one I described here today. I met several more cougars after this encounter and most did not have the glamorous story everyone expects.

So what is the moral of the story?

Cougars are not all milf.

Lame

Internet is not working at home. What the fuck is wrong with these people. All I ask in life is unlimited super fast internet that is on all the time. Why have I been forsaken?

You smell...that's right, I'm looking at YOU

People stink. There is no denying it. Human beings are filthy flawed creatures. We are animals. There is no denying it.

Now you're thinking, "At Church on Sunday, everyone smells so nice and they look so good. You must be wrong."

I would respond by saying, "Shut the hell up stupid. You dunt know nuthin."

If you took those same people at the so called pristine church and ripped off their facade (ie their clothing), you would see some really gross nasty things. You will see weird moles, smelly skin lesions, infections, STDs, genital hoohaws, and stained dookey underwear.

If God created man in His image...well, I won't say any more than that. I'll instead just shake my head in disbelief. The body is imperfect and there are weird crap everywhere.

Again, you don't believe me? Get a mirror and look at your hairy bunghole at the end of your work day. Tell me you're not disgusted. Then carefully look at the tiny imperfections in your skin. Do you see it? Yeah you do. And then imagine all of the other crap that's wrong with you underneath all that inside your body. Uh oh, am I turning some people into body dysmorphos? Oh well. Whatevahz.

Why am I bringing this up? Well, I have to watch people all day long. That's what I do. That's my job. I find that although many people are tolerable, many others are really really unbelievably gross.

Yesterday, I saw a woman who is "one with nature". She had really really gross feet and crap stuck in between her toes. I was really grossed out by the fungal infection and the smell. Why can't they just take a bath one in awhile? I have to look at people's feet because at Sax, I occasionally have to sell shoes like Al Bundy.

And then today, I saw a 400lb woman with nothing but a thin wispy dress with no underwear waft into my store. Hmm...maybe waft isn't the right word. Maybe I should say, thundarred into the women's section. The weird thing about this woman is that when she sat down anywhere, she would keep her legs wide open for all to see. And sadly, I was privy to her privies. What I saw next was really weird. It was white. Completely white like white chalk. And she didn't have underwear so all of that crap was rubbing off the seats. Seriuosly, what the fuck?

So in conclusion, I stink, you stink, we all stink. Let's help each other by taking a shower once a day and cleaning the toes. That's it. Good day.

I need to write about cougars. I may write about it soon. I'm writing this here so I can remind myself to write about it. Don't read this section.

Turning Chinese

So a friend decided to give up on Capitalism and try his Communist legs in Communist China.

He's moving there forever not for business but for personal reasons, which I think is a pretty good reason to go. Business is so boring. I don't think there is anything to lose in this endeavor except the pain in the ass moving process.

Now, I suggested that he enter his new muthaland with some style. I suggested that he put on a show or a parade to announce his grand arrival.


Remember the scene in Aladdin where he comes into town on an elephant or some shit? I picture that kind of scenario as my friend rides in to the small rural village of Wuhan where life is simple and a bowl of rice costs a ha'penny.

And as he rides through Wuhan, past the ol' communist Malt shop and past the dirt farms, the simple farmers of Wuhan will probably think, that guy must be important.

And when he enters his hostel, I think he should start his dance of seduction.

See exhibit A:



He can enter with that and everyone will be in awe. Not only that, I expect everyone to join in on the dance.

Hallmark (otherwise known as Fox News Channel)

Did I take this picture? Yes. I did. It's my collection. I'm not ashamed. Lucy is an American icon.

I love I Love Lucy. So, I watch Hallmark channel from time to time. They do a marathon at night and I like to get my fill.

But one thing I realized is that Hallmark is a very VERY conservative channel. I suppose it makes sense since most of the shows are from the 1940s and 1950s and shit. Back then, they didn't have them gays mucking up the good ol' days right? In any case, I realized that every other commercial on this channel was from AARP or the republican party. Also, nostalgia seems to be the theme for every damn commercial. Most commercials also had a "Made in America" angle. For example, Florida Orange Juice commercial revealed that Minute Maid orange juice imported their juice from Brazil. They also ran a bunch of commercials against universal health care. Forget the United Methodist commercial I talked about yesterday. These commercials are the worst shit ever. They had some "doctor" actor talk about some crazy ass retarded shit about medicare, England and Canada. They really love to scare old people.


And speaking of old people, I saw a 90+ year old woman try to drive her benz today. She almost caused 10 accidents in a span of 20 seconds. She was trying to drive but it looked like she couldn't see. She was squinting her eyes, leaning forward and she made erratic stops because she couldn't see if the traffic light was red, yellow or green until it was too late. She would stop in the middle of the intersection because that was how far she would have to go before she could see what color it was. The car in front of me almost crashed into her and when we passed her, she almost swerved into our lane. Hmmm...in retrospect, I think I should have called the police...I hope she didn't kill anyone today.

Rethink Church...wha?!?!

Are they serious?

What the fuck are we rethinking? Are they saying that Church has a reputation of lameness but it's really cool and hip? Is that what we're rethinking?

Newsflash: Church is NOT supposed to be cool and hip. You don't play at church. You worship and go home.

"What if church was a verb"

Ugh.

I saw a commercial for this new...I'm sorry...nouveau crusade and I was really embarrassed for them.

Okay, who are they trying to reach here? These ridiculous campaigns seem to preach to the choir. I use myself as a gauge (because I'm always right) to determine whether a particular campaign works or not and I must say, in my non-humble opinion, this one sucks. It's also disturbing to me. I feel like at any minute God is going to throw a lightning bolt at these people because this campaign is so cringe-worthy.

"Powered by the Holy Spirit, 'Rethink Church' serves as a catalyst that moves the denomination, and those we hope to reach, into dialogue -- and ultimately, into transformative, collaborative action."

What...the...fuck... What is this? It makes absolutely no sense. Are they saying that they recognize non-believers right to exist and that they will allow them to co-exist with the righteous believers as long as we work to better mankind? Or is this quote another way of saying that they intend to assimilate everyone Borg style into their collective to get stuff done (ie spread the gospel)?

If God was here, I think he would be angry...like Old Testament angry. Remember when God didn't like people deviating from his plans? He does not want people to hang out and play ball in his house of worship.


Granted, I think their intent is somewhat noble, since most of their community service events end with the aid of others but why do they have to taint their altruism with this stupid shit?

Oh yeah, and the stuff that they're trying to imply regarding the worship of YHWH is pure blasphemy. Even I know that the stuff they're trying to sell on TV is blasphemy. Playing ball? Having fun? Laughing about God?

No way.

If you're one of those people that feel that all the stuff that Presbies and Methos are doing is a proper evolution of the religion, I really think that I will see you tied up next to me in the afterlife.

Hey, I just had an epiphany. For the next campaign, they should release a hip-hop gangsta rap album that deals with the Holy Spirit trying to survive in the ethereal ghetto. Is that blasphemous enough for you?

Enough of my rambling rant.

I will make my recommendation. United Methodist, please, stop this ridiculous campaign. Instead of spending money on this crap, quietly help others in need.

And when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Hmm...where did I hear this?

"The Scribes and Pharisees were guilty of two great faults in prayer, vain-glory and vain repetitions"

Do it quietly and with some dignity ffs.

Okay, I was going to end right there but I have one more thing to say.

I have always had a problem with missionary work and spreading the gospel through "good deeds" that everyone talks about. Even as a kid at church and at church functions, I really felt dirty and guilty. I feel that these missions are deceptive. For example, organizations want to feed the homeless. That's fine. They want to relieve hunger. That's fine. They lure people who are hungry for food (NOT hungry for God) into their huts or hives or whatever and then when they're near, BAM!!!, they pull out the word of God and start their commercial. What up wit dat? And since these people who are eating the food are guilt-tripped into staying and listening, they have no choice but to nod their head and thank people for the food AND God. I hate product placement in movies and TV and I hate product placement in real life. I cannot be alone in feeling this. As a kid, I would see homeless people come to eat some food but while they are eating, these missionaries start shoving God's truth down these poor people's throats along with the turkey dinner. Unbelievable.

Prepare for warp...now punch it!

My friend over at his blog wrote a "hype post" giving people a hint about what's to come. Well, I'll do one here too.

Tomorrow, there will be a rant. And it will involve religion. I have not written one in a long time so I figured I was due....

I drink too much coffee.

Yes, it's true. I'm an addict. I know it's a legal stimulant but...


It's out of control...but I can't stop it. Rather, I refuse to stop it.

I drink about 10 cups...check that, I'm lying...I drink about 15 cups a day.

Look at that! I talk like an addict. I don't know what to do. As I write this, I'm drinking a Venti iced coffee right now.

I never drank coffee during college. But then after I left, it became a habit. Now it's a necessity. I know it's bad for my stomach. I think I may be developing an ulcer. But I just can't stop.

HELP ME!

Embarasssing Health Confessions

Here

These seem pretty tame to me.

Do people fart in your face? Well, do they?!?

I must be in one of a handful of professions in the world where you must tolerate or even encourage flatulence. I will also argue that customers find it comfortable farting in my presence, even though I find smelly farts are not at the top of my favorite-things-in-the-world list and do not really want shit particles floating into my nose.

I was working with a customer the other day when I heard this woman fart. It was a loud fart and as far as I could smell at that point, a relatively unsmelly explosion. However, this woman did not apologize or say "excuse me" for farting. Instead, she just farted again...

and again....

and again.

Seriously, the person farted about 10 times (they were a combination of short rapid fire farts combined with some swooshing farts, finishing with a hadouken-style super fart of atomic proportions).

Street-Fighter-2-Hadouken sound bite 1 sound bites

And then it happened.

I was bending down to help examine her heel when suddenly she farted in my face. It was a moderate explosion but it was definitely smelly. I would describe the smell as a mixture of human feces, cat urine, and old sweaty socks. I felt like an invisible fart film covered my face (imagine a saran wrap covering your face except the saran wrap is much more farty and fucking gross).

She still did not exhibit any embarrassment. She just continued her business and kept farting.

It was really weird. I had no choice at this point but ask, "Having you been passing gas a lot lately?"

She replied, "Yeah, but it's alright. Farting makes me feel good."

...

Now, what the fuck are you supposed to say to that?


Actually, I didn't say anything because I was dry heaving the entire time. I finished my work as quickly as I could and escaped to my office. I developed a mild headache after the exposure and felt a bit dirty. I was contemplating going to the ER so I can give the ER docs a good laugh but I had more work to do. My next appointment was a fishy experience...but I'm worn out so I'll weave that tale at another time.

Nooooooooooodles

NOOOOOODLES!

Duck, mooncakes, and now the noodles...

I don't know how to feel about this. I don't know if they tried to analyze the bacteria in the product after a few days on the shelf or if they tried to assess the shelf life of these things but we need more scientific data.

I'm surprised Martin Yan from Yan-can-cook-so-can-you fame is stepping up. He should assemble other AZN chefs like "East Meets West guy", Iron Chef Asia and Momofuku King. He can call them up a la M.A.S.K. style.



And yes, MASK is great.

Tomorrow, I will talk about farts. Seriously.