Thursday, June 09, 2005

Freshly Paved Potholes

Everyone around here knows that there are a lot of potholes.

If I decide to live out my life here, I would be forced to buy a gas guzzling, spontaneously exploding SUV with All wheel super offroad capability. If you do not have this, your car, in one years time, will be destroyed.

I have a sedan. In 1 month's time, my alignment went to shit. I hear noises that i have never heard before and the car is becoming a junker as the days pass. Mix that with snow, rain, dust, shit that bombard my car every day, your car gets royally ass kicked.

They "repaved" the main road near my abode. I thought to myself, "Finally. Some smooth road". In 2 day's time, potholes the size of Kentucky littered the road. What is the freakin' point? It took them 2 years to repave the road but in 2 days, the road went to crap. I swear, either the land is bloody fu*ked up or the incompetence runs rampant. Either way, I'm screwed.

I think the environmentalists should focus on fixing the roads here. Maybe then people wouldn't be forced to buy SUVs. Then we can drive those hybrids everyone is talking about. Just for your information, most people buy the Porsche Cayenne around here. Apparently it's good.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

The Jaywalker

I was waiting at a red light when suddenly, a woman out of nowhere ran by the hood of my car.

Why was I surprised?

Here are some reasons:

1) The area in front of me was not a designated crosswalk

2) I was waiting out the red in a 8 lane thoroughfare with major traffic

3) She was a zaftig woman.

4) She was running in high heels

5) She was weaving in and out of many cars.

6) She scowled at me.


I was perplexed by the last gesture. I did not know why she would be angry. I was just sitting in my car minding my own business. My facial expression had not changed, though in my mind, I was amazed. If anything, I should be pissed at her for putting my insurance on the line for this woman. Perhaps she was angry at me for not building a crosswalk here in my free time. Who knows. Maybe I need to stop going out.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Waiter Rant

I'm obsessed with the waiter rant blog. I need to find out where he works!!

If someone knows, please tell me!!!!! Argh!

Waiter Rant here suckas!

I know only this:

1) He's a dude
2) He works at upscale Tuscan Italian Bistro
3) His restaurant sounds good.

Yo! Yo! Cancel all that!

The point of drive-thru is to get your food fast. Well, that's my opinion any way. I think that drive-thrus weren't built to have long conversations with tellers or take 20 minutes deciding what you want to eat. Most drive thrus, i believe, should be used by those who know what they want, who have the money, and who want to get out of there as quickly as possible.

Apparently, these aren't the rules that some people follow.

The car in front of me drove to the teller box. The "impatient" man, as soon as he got within' shouting distance of the box, started screaming at the worker to take his order.

"Yo! Anyone there?!?"

The lady in the box said, "Yes, may I help you?"

The man then proceded to order a long list of combos, drinks, and other items from the short list of drive-thru menu items. Not only that, there were substitutions.

I know all this because he was shouting so loud that even God herself woke up and said, "Shut the hell up!"

Anyway, it seemed as though he was almost through when I saw the wife lean over and say something to him. He then said,

"Yo! Yo! Cancel all that! We're gonna start over"

**There is silence in the box**

After a minute, the lady on the other side said, "Ok sir. What would you like"

Even through the crappy voice machine, i could feel her frustration.

The man then proceeded to order some other combination of food and accessories.

I was hungry, frustrated, and laughing. "This is so ridiculous," I thought to myself.

Some places have these timers to tell you how long the workers took to get your food. I think they should have a timer for the ordering process. If you don't get your order in, you get charged extra for overtime x the number of people waiting behind them. If there is no one in the drive thru lane other than yourself, you can take your sweet ass time. If there are others, times a tickin'

Friday, June 03, 2005

Drugs and Construction

I was talking to a local construction worker. He seemed like an amiable gentleman in his early 40s. We talked about the current state of highways near my place when he divulged some info about the business around these parts.

He says that at least 3/4 of workers have drug or alcohol problems in the state. Most of the drug problems deal with cocaine and heroine. Many individuals he personal had worked with have been drunk on the job at one time or another. Unions protect them from everything.

He also said that if you were not an alcoholic and did not use drugs, you could write your own ticket anywhere. You would be coveted by major corporations.

Now, I'm not sure if this info is true or if it reflects the reality of things in the very least but it is still amazing. Maybe the reason they can't seem to finish the jobs in time and budget is because the companies have all of these other problems they have to worry about. I know that in other states, a collapsed stretch of highway have been rebuilt in 6 months good as new. In this state, for some reason, it takes them 5 years to widen a 1 mile stretch of highway. Also, the costs are enormous. If it costs $200,000 in one state, it costs $5 million here (this is according to an individual who tried to start projects in this state).

In any case, it's apalling to think that my life on the road is in the hands of some of these individuals. Frightening.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Ferrari And Me

I drove to my local Target today and lo and behold, the ferrari that i mentioned before in my previous post drove past me.

I could finally put a face on this particular Target red ferrari.

The man driving it is in his mid 40s. He's a slightly balding caucasian male with an attitude.

Why am I writing about this banal incident?

Well, when i got out of my car, he was passing by me with his red spectacle. But curiously, he was glaring at me. I did not know this man so I thought nothing of it.

But then, he drove around and then passed me again. And again he stared at me.

I continued to walk the lonely walk toward the Target entrance.

The man kept circling the parking lot but he continued to pass me while staring.

He did this 7 times.

This was really strange. "Have I done something wrong?" I thought. "Did I do something to offend him or oppress him somehow? Did I wrong him in a previous life? Did I kill his son in battle, God forbid?"

Then I thought, maybe I stole his parking space.

I think that was it.

You see, this parking structure has numbered spaces so it's easy to remember what your favorite spot may be. I have seen him park his ferrari near where I had parked my car today. Maybe it was his special space. Of course, he usually takes 2 spaces but that's beside the point.

He finally parked at another remote corner of the parking lot where no cars were around it.

What an eccentric guy. I hope I become just like him.