The Saga Continues

I have neglected this blog again. I need to start writing again. I hope that this blog survives for many years because it has been a great way to chronicle my life. I look back at the crap I wrote and it's really amusing. It seems like my life is hard (it is).

It has been a loooooong 9 months. If I can sum up the last 9 months in one word, it would have to be.... "disappointing." Career-wise, I am where I am expected to be. It's neither fantastic nor terrible. It's a job that I go to every morning and I am tired by the day's end. I get paid every month and I'm thankful. Personal life though is pretty much non-existent while working. I go out from time to time but I feel like I'm not building the kind of friendships I am used to with the close friends I have now. It's like college all over again. I never really had friends wanting to go into this industry and now that i'm part of it, I still find the people …incompatible.

I am hoping for some excitement in life. I'm not sure how to achieve this. Actually, I don’t need excitement. I just need direction and goal. Perhaps I should start behaving differently? Should I do things I wouldn't normally do?

I have sent my passport to get it renewed. Perhaps when it comes back to me, I will take a trip. Perhaps, I will find something interesting in a foreign land. I don’t know. I’m pretty fucking tired right now.

I do like writing here though. It relieves a bit of the stress.

Chuck

I caught an episode. And it was funny. Will attempt to watch all. The end.

It's Official

I have lost my marbles. Lack of sleep is destroying me. The last two days have been horrible. I have slept in intermittent spurts and I have not had a chance to recuperate from the demanding work. I nap during the day to "catch up" but it further messes up my sleep schedule and it makes everything even worse.

I don't know what's happening

My schedule:

Sleep 1 hour, then work for an hour, sleep 2 hours, work for an hour, sleep 30 minutes, work for an hour, sleep 2 hours, work for 3 hours. This was my night. Last month was a nightmare because I was working really really long hours weekly. I did a lot of overnights and it was very tough. Now I'm strictly nights. This fucks me up even more. I am like a zombie. I don't know what the hell i'm doing half the time. I worked this morning...and now I have to work again tonight. Night shift is a weird thing. I am consistently tired, which does not help my current emotional state which I think can best be described as dysthymic.

What can I do to break out of this funktastic streak? You tell me. I'm really stressed out. I'm studying and working, studying and working. This was my life for the last few decades and it seems to be continuing. I suppose I should be thankful but when you're tired as I am, you just don't care.

When will I get my break? When will it be my time? Help me superman!

Month of Hell

I have made it through the month of hell. It has been a rough few weeks. It has been emotionally and physically draining. I don't know if I am a better person having gone through it.

Two weeks ago, I worked 96 hours. Sure, the week after I only worked 60 hours but it really kicks your ass because you have no days off.

This week, I'm night shift. That means more cold nights at work. I'm tired. I wish I could see the sun a little more. I wish I could just relax and have fun.

But even with time off, coordinating this fun time is difficult. As much as I enjoy doing shit alone, I would rather do things with friends. The problem is, most of my friends are working or doing other shit when I have time off. And when they do have time off, I'm in the depths of hell working.

Ah the joys of living life...

Fate

Does believing in fate make you a more optimistic person?

I'm back

I have not had cable or internet for about a week. It's good to get back online.

Working the weekend...again

It's depressing to write this every other week. I hate working weekends. It's bad enough that my next day off is next saturday (and then i have to work again on Sunday) but I have to work overnight. I have so much work to do right now, it's ridiculous.

Fuck, my life sucks right now.

Funny

Ripped off from Failblog

This post is ripped off from failblog. I wanted to post it so I can read it again later.
I thought it was too funny.

“Note: Just to let you it is not that we don’t believe in things like that, it is just misleading when you talk about it being billions of years old, when we all know that the world is only about 6,000 years old. So why would I pay so that you can misslead my children, your world is just a revolving(?), ours has a start and an end. God created the world. He created animals and man all in the same week. It was also Adam who named all the animals, they will do the essay ‘Rock and Minerals’ but it might not be 5 pages long, and about billions of years, it will be according to the Bible.”

Sleepy

I am back from a 30 hour work day. Last night, I got 5 min of sleep, then 5 min of sleep, then 15 min of sleep. This is not sleep.

What made it even worse was that I slept 2 hours the previous night.

I'm really hurting right now.

...working retail is a bitch.

Stress

I'm super stressed. There are too many things to take care of and no time. I would have some hope right now if I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel. I can't see it. I wish I could see it. I don't even know where the tunnel is. As the responsibilities mount, so does the daily worrying. There must be a better way.

In the Year 2010

Another year is here. Whee.

I'm not that enthusiastic. I don't know why.

There are a few movies worth mentioning.

Karate Kid - WTF? I want to see it because it looks absolutely stupid and i want to make fun of it. Prove me wrong Jackie Chan. Prove me wrong.

Iron Man 2 - It looks interesting.

Robin Hood - Crowe? Really?

Last Airbender - M Night has disappointed so much.

A-team - Sigh.

Prince of Persia - Visuals look great. Not a big fan of Jake but at least he looks the part.

Harry Potter - Yay.

Green Hornet - meh.

The Expendables - Must see.

Xmas this week

I'm really sleepy. I haven't been able to sleep in the last 2 days for various reasons. I'm tired again. This really sucks because this month is supposed to be my "light" block. Next block is going to be hell again. I need a vacation. I need a real vacation where I become a vegetable and never leave the bed. That's what I want to do. I want to do nothing.

Scared about raising a child? Don't be.

Are you about to have a child and you're wondering and worried whether you are up to the challenge of raising another lifeform? Don't be worried. I may have never met you but I can confidently say that you'll be fine.

I have seen and I have met people/kids that are dumber than a sack of rotting potatoes raise kids. Sure, the kids turn out dumber than a smaller sack of rotting potatoes but they live and grow and become burdens to society in no time.

Yesterday, I met a couple having their second child in 21 months. The woman/girl was 20 years old. The guy, about the same age, was sitting next to her without a care in the world. He didn't give a shit about anything. He cared not that the girl had serious heart problems. He cared not that they were below the poverty line because none of them worked. They were having kids because they had sex a bunch of times and now this thing was growing inside a belly. As soon as that belly is opened up with a knife a second time, I'm sure a third will be brought into the world. And then another. And another...

I asked him if they would consider using contraceptives in the future because the girl could die soon if they kept at this pace. The girl's heart was failing. In fact, she may die giving birth to this fetus (and the fetus would probably die too). They told me that they're Catholic and that they have morals about stuff like that and wouldn't consider it.

Awesome.

He said they'll raise kids "right" and "s'all good". Fucking fantastic.

See how simple it is? It is all good. These mature kids are having kids and having a good time. This optimistic story should strike any doubt from your heart when it comes to your ability to raise a child in this world. They're doing it and so can you.

Exploring the unknown

I spend most of my day telling people what to do. I don't do it because I love controlling people. It's my job. Today, I told someone that they need to change their diet dramatically. In fact, I told them they need to cut out a big part of their diet. I told them to stop eating meat.

After this encounter, I thought to myself, "would I be able to do this?"

I don't have an answer. I don't know if I could become a vegetarian. I really love beef. I eat beef every other day. If i don't eat it, i get a headache and I crave it. Then I eat it. That is the cycle of my life.

So if someone told me that I could never eat meat, I don't know if I could survive. Perhaps there are manuals out there where it tells people how to wean themselves off of the sweet sweet deliciousness of burnt animal flesh.

Happy Xmas

So who wants to come over to my house and celebrate? I don't fuck around.

Actually, we have a lot of family coming over and I do my best to make the gathering an enjoyable experience. One way of doing that is to eat and drink quality goods. Dom and Blue Label should suffice for this year. Sweeeeeeet

On another note, I have finished my Christmas shopping. I hope people enjoy their gifts.

UPDATE: Lest you think I'm Mr. Banks, let me make it clear. It is rare for my family to have so many relatives visit us during the holidays. As a special celebration, we are going all out. That is the reason for the extravaganza and the flowing of rare whiskeys.

Sorry Anonymous...

...Somebody beat you to the punch.

Droid wha?, Google, Nexus yeah!

I never understood the hype behind Droid by Motorola. It looked pretty ugly and the hardware was "meh" at best.

But now I'm excited.

Nexus 1 is coming soon and it's a phone designed by Google, made by HTC. Now THAT is something that interests me. Android has a lot of potential. I see a future where all of the google applications online (including google translate, google maps, google chat, google docs, etc) are integrated into the android and available 24/7 on the phone. Can you imagine being able to access translation tool on the fly integrated with google voice/google ap? Holy shit, now that is amazing.

The other awesome news is that unlike the Droid, the Nexus will apparently be sold by Google unlocked and have the ability to access both GSM 3g networks in the US.

Seriously. This is great news. This is the game changer that everyone has been waiting for.

If google does another one of those exclusive deal bull shit with a particular carrier however, I will be disappointed. But if the prelim plans that are leaked on the web are true, I may be sporting an android phone come end of next year.

And because this phone is GSM, the google phone can be sold all around the world at launch. Fucking amazing. I still don't think this phone will topple iphone's dominance but I think it will make Apple take notice finally. All of these other supposed "iphone killers" were absolutely retarded. Nothing can touch the Iphone right now. Even the haters know this deep inside. But with the Nexus, things may finally change.

Sleep

Today was the first day in 6 months I have had the opportunity to sleep more than 8 hours. It was great. I woke up at 2 pm today.

I wish I could sleep in every day. It is a good feeling. Sure, most of the day is gone but who cares! You get to sleep.

I woke up and went to the local Starbucks. Even on this gloomy day, I ordered an ice coffee. But they messed up my coffee by putting sugar in it. Why must everything in this world try my patience?

Now I'm eating my Asian Seafood pancake. It's pretty tasty. I'm very happy that I get the weekend off. I feel like I'm on vacation.