Sunday, August 14, 2005

Shitty Conversation

I was at a public loo participating in the ritual of micturition when I heard two gentlemen talking to each other in the stalls. They started talking about how their stomachs were hurting and that they had been waiting all day to engage in defecation. From their conversations, I gathered they were perfect strangers, having only met fortutitously in this public shit dumpster. One gentleman then proceeded to rip a loud fart and vacated his bowels with great vigour.

I found all of this quite odd. I felt as though I was in some dream....a shitty dream. I personally follow the unwritten unspoken rule of public restrooms. When I'm pissing, I look straight ahead, do my business, grunt a satisfactory grunt, and leave the premises post-haste. When I'm defecating in public, I engage in multiple courtesy flushes and try to keep my "shameful" business discreet, taking extra care to not shit on the seats.

When I finally left the bathroom, the gentlemen were talking politics and laughing it up.

So the question is, have I "got it all wrong"? Am I supposed to talk to the people around me for moral support while taking a shit? Am I not "with it"? I think I will try to be brave next time I take a crap in public, and start a conversation about the latest episode of Family Guy with the shitty guy next to me. Who knows, maybe I'll find my new best friend.

1 comment:

wandering-mind said...

don't you remember the "green apple splatter's" episode from freshman year? You were conversing with people outside the stall... I mean... you had to. That was monumental.