Post office woman from hell

I have used the USPS all my life. They have been reliable for me and I have not had many problems with their service.

Until today.

I went into the local post office to mail a package. The box was a priority mail box, the kind that they have available for free at the post office.

When I arrived, there was no one at the office and I immediately found myself being helped by a nice friendly gentleman at the counter. The man asked,

"Did you want to send this by priority, which is $18 dollars or would you like to send it overnight for $45 dollars?"

I thought about this for a few seconds and determined that overnight-ing the package might be a good idea. So, I told him that I would like to send the package via express mail.

The man said "no problem" and gave me the extra forms that I needed to fill out.

I filled out the forms and returned to the counter.

I was about to hand the man the package once again when a female civil service employee walked in.

She said to me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm handing him my package."

She stated, "You can't send that. You can't send priority mail box express."

I said, "Okay....can you tell me why?"

She said, "That's a priority mail box. You can't send it express. It has those letters on the side that says 'Priority'. You can only send that box by priority"

I thought to myself, Jesus, I'm spending an extra $20 bucks to send it overnight, you would think that they would want the extra money. Oh well, i guess rules are rules.

I then asked her, "So if the letters on the side of the box that said 'priority' was hidden in some way, I could send it?"

"Yeah"

Okay, so I looked around the office. There was a black sharpie in one of her pen holders. I asked,

"May I borrow the sharpie ma'am?"

"No."

I asked, "Why not?"

She said, "It's not yours and you can't use it if you're going to use it on that box."

"Um...okay. May I then borrow some of your express mail packaging stickers that you give free to the customers so I can cover up the letters?"

I guess I stumped her on that one. She quietly thought about it and replied,

"No."

I said, "Ma'am, I am just trying to send this package. And I'm going to spend a lot of money here doing so. Can't you just hand me those free express mail packaging tape that you have one your counter so I can send this and leave?"

"No."

I wanted to go postal at this point. Sympathy was flowing for those crazy postal workers who went ballistic.

"Fine." I said curtly. I started to walk into the lobby when I caught a glimpse of the man who was helping me before. He had a "I'm sorry she's such a bitch but hey, at least YOU don't have to work with this whore day in and day out" look.

I gave him a nod and went back into the lobby.

I looked around A-team style and tried to figure out what to do. I decided that i'll take one of those overpriced clear packing tape, rip those priority mail paper envelopes into strips big enough to just cover the letters, and tape it up.

I took the next five minutes taping up the box. My anger was at a high at this point. I wanted to trash the lobby. I was very close to doing so until I thought a) getting arrested would not be good b) the bitch would probably make the nice male postal worker clean up the mess.

I kept my calm and approached the counter again with my newly covered box.

The lady decided to personally wait on me. She said, "I can't allow you do monopolize my time by helping you cover up the box."

I look around the office. There were still no customers.

I did not reply.

She then said, "woah, this is gonna cost you $45." She said this in a tone that reeked of "I told you so, you should have used priority you stupid kid".

I still did not reply.

"This is gonna cost you a lot."

I replied, "Is there a question?"

She got the hint and said, "$45 bucks total". I handed her my debit card and paid for it.

As I left, I looked at the male worker one last time. Again, he had a look that said, "Don't cry for me. I'm already dead".

My god, these encounters with lamias are wearing me out. Is there no happy kind females anywhere in this state? I'm thinking, no.