A (really boring) Day In My Life

(Stream of consciousness...begin!)

Freezing.

I wake up and find the weather to be extremely cold. I decide that I need a hat of some kind. I usually don't wear hats. I look like some kind of murderer.

I waddle over to K-mart and find a skull cap for one dollar. Success! The guy at the cash register looks as though he does not want to be there. In fact, he looks almost suicidal. He looks up at me. The expression on his face telepathically signal to me that he wanted me to kill him. I avoid pulling out my imaginary Glock 26 and put him out of misery.

I walk out of the store and observe the people around me. I have lived here for 1 year and a half now and I have made this astonishing observation.

Sadness.

No one smiles in this godforsaken state. I have observed that there exist in these parts 3 "moods" or "faces" one wears when an individual struts about in town.

1) The "I'm tired" face
2) The "I'm angry" face
2) The "I'm REALLY angry" face.

I find myself getting more and more depressed as I look at their faces and into their tired/angry eyes.

Pain.

I decide that I need to go the pharmacy to get my prescription filled for some cox2 inhibitors. My cartilage has been acting up.

I get to the local pharmacy and see a kind pharmacist. There is no smile but I could tell she wasn't a total bitch. (I'm pretty good at judging character just by looking at the contours of the face. It's my gift. Toot toot.) I give her the coveted prescription paper. She presses thousands of keys on her keyboard. 2 minutes....3 minutes...4 minutes...5 minutes go by and she's still typing away.

I ask her if there is anything wrong. I ask, "Is there anything wrong?"

"Your insurance requires a "pre-approval" before I can give you name brand drugs."

Shit. This is going to be a problem. If the drugs aren't life-saving, one probably has to wait for a generic alternative. And if I have to buy these drugs out of pocket, it's going to cost $100-$120 for my fill. I create an impromptu tmesis in my head: fan-fucking-tastic.

The kind pharmacist calls my doctor. The doctor, of course, isn't in. She leaves a message about the need to get the medication approved.

The pharmacist turns to me and says, "You're going to have to come back later. You can call us in a couple of hours. In fact, you might want to call the doctor yourself to see how long it might take to get the medication approved."

I curse the healthcare industry under my breath and head home. I look at the clock and I have wasted 2 hours on this affair.

I head to the local upscale mall. I'm starving at this point and they have my prescription for my hunger. Only they can satiate my desire for Ranch 1 chicken sandwiches.

Big fucking mistake.

There are 10 ferraris trying to get in the parking structure. I have never seen this many ferraris in my life. The most i have seen till now was at a dealership. And they only had 8 in the lot. I pass by the porsche 911 turbo to head to the alternate entrance. The porsche yupster gives me a dirty look. He adjusts his 3000 dollar Armani suit and then yells something at his wife/mistress next to him.

Happy fucking holidays.

I get in the parking structure and I see an attendant trying to manoeuvre all of the $100,000 cars into spaces. I feel totally out of place with my 1997 POS. I head higher and higher in the structure. I think to myself, "I gotta get away from these fuckers". Finally, I see some relief on the 7th floor. No cars. I park my car and head for the food court.

Chaos.

There is a million people in the food court. I say this without hyperbole. I count the people one by one and the total count comes to...okay, maybe it was a hyperbole but it was a lot of fucking people. (No, they weren't fucking)

I finally get to the food counter and order my chicken sandwich. I eat my food alone at a table designed to accomodate five. I feel self conscious because people are fighting for seats. I could sense a family of 5 giving me dirty looks for taking their table. I'm ready to rip their throats out if they give me lip. I enjoy my french fries and coke.

Time.

I look at my watch (actually, it's the clock on my cellphone) and see that it's time to call my doctor. I'm hoping he is in his office now. I call and I get his nurse. I give my name and am about to explain the situation when she interrupts me.

"Oh! I talked to the insurance company and they said it will take 24-48 hours to approve the drug payment."

"I see. Do I need to call you or does the pharmacy call me?"

"Wait a minute. You're that student right?"

"Yes."

"Hold on one second. Let me talk to the doctor."

....Minutes go by....

The nurse comes on the phone and says, "You're in luck. I searched through some departments and found some samples for you. It's a month's worth of drugs. Come pick it up when you get a chance."

Amazed.

I reply, "Thank you. Thank you very much. I really appreciate it."

I finish up my coke and head to my car. I'm racing to the office. Free drugs are worth the risk of getting a speeding ticket.

I get to the office. The kind nurse on the phone is nowhere to be found. Instead, I am greeted by the bitchy nurse. (How can I tell she's a bitch you ask? Well, my super powers of observation aside, she happened to act unkindly toward a patient just as i walked in.)

The surly nurse says, "Maaaaay I help you?"

"Yes, the kind nurse said she had some drugs for me."

The surly nurse looks up at me with her crooked eye (i really can't describe it well) and gives me the look of disdain.

"What is your name?"

I give her my name.

She sighs and walks over to the secret vault. She looks around and sees a bag with my name on it. Is this yours?

I say, "Yes'm"

She hands me the bag and leaves quickly. I wait for her to come back and I tell her, "Would you please tell the kind nurse thank you and merry christmas."

The surly nurse softens up a bit and replies, "Will do."

I leave the office with my bag of gold. I get to my car and guilt sets in. I realize that if i had to, I could have found some way of paying for this. I think about those who truly can't afford the drugs and have to choose everyday between eating and being pain free. This is some fucked up shit right here.

I don't return the drugs.

I head home to my apt. I turn on my computer and type a blog entry.

Yenemy comes online. He yibyabs about nothing in particular. Hehe.

THE END.

To WAR!

So there is a major transit strike in New York. It has pissed off a lot of people. Officials state that the city will lose close to 300 million dollars a day.

I don't know the details of the strike. Actually, I do know some details but it's a complicated mess with faults on both sides so I won't go into it.

What matters is that it's fucking cold, there are delays, and people are suffering. It is insane.

The world is in chaos. I'm surprised that world war 3 hasn't been declared. We have Iran's president going ape-shit over retarded things again. We have religious fanatics bombing shit all over the place. We have relgious fanatics introducing "intelligent design" in schools. We have relgious radicals trying to hijack enlightenment in America. We have the administration cutting funding for healthcare and education. Billions are spent on maintaining a war that we cannot pull out of. The president is spying on Americans (I find this extremely ironic because the shit coming out of our President/King's mouth is strangely familiar. They are the excuses of every tyrant in history from Nero to Bonapart.) Our leaders are lying and stealing money from the people (Delay, Frist, Cheney). The nation is divided.

George Bush promised that he would work to unite the country. I'm not sure exactly what he's doing but it's not working. I believe that when a candidate becomes President, he should no longer work for his party. He has the obligation to be inclusive in his decisions. He shouldn't exclude the views of half of America. Sadly, due to the two party system, this is not the case. I also find it ironic that republicans hold this president in such high regard. They treat him like a king. I find it surprising when common folk follow him without any thought. They're like lemmings. Democrats are no better. They have become spineless and have been whipped into submission. I hate both parties right now.

It's Christmas time but it doesn't feel so jolly.

If you're bored, take a look at this

http://www.planetboredom.net/video.php?id=210

-Praise Jesus

WTF?

Purpose and Review

This blog has absolutely no purpose. It is just a place to write stupid things. Therefore, I'm going to use it to keep a food journal and review all the shitty food I have eaten so that I may never make the same mistakes again.

So it begins:

Review: Trader Joe's Low Salt Chicken Chowmein

Grade: D+

Edible if you're desperately starving. The food is salty, sweet, and tastes nothing like how Chow Mein is "supposed to taste like". In two words, it sucks.
In one word, it-sucks-something-terrible.

Scale: A+ is ambrosia while an F- would be the taste of a demon spawn's filthy anus.

I'm watching you muthafucka!

It's interesting how easily one can "track" people visiting various websites across the globe. I know that some scan through the logged "paths of the internet" to see where people have come from and where they are going. Advertisers have been using this to track demographics and provide advertising data.

What I find interesting is that it can provide some really amusing situations.

I was reading someone's blog when they mentioned something about a former boyfriend. Apparently, this girl has been combing through the logs to see the kinds of people visiting her website. It turns out that one particular visitor is from New Zealand. She also mentions that the user was from a particular college. She goes on to say that there is no way in hell this could be some random person visiting her website and that it has to be her ex-boyfriend. She explains that her boyfriend just got up and disappeared to New Zealand one day and was never heard from again. She tried to contact him at the university but was unsucessful.

Her rant then began.

"I know it's you" she says. "Grow some balls and send me an email."

I couldn't stop laughing. She went through all that trouble to throw down the gauntlet.

In a personal story, a figure from our past, Mr. C. Bang contacted me through ICQ. He explained that he was living near me. My first reply was "bullshit". Then I replied, "Why the fuck would you be all the way over here?" To confirm his story, I tracked his ip. Sure enough, he was 30 miles away. FUCK. Now i have to go buy a gun. Damn stalkers.

What I had to deal with this morning...

Storm is coming!!!

Impact of a man

I often wonder about the impact an individual can make in this world.

We often think about great figures in history.

Hitler comes to mind because he was considered the modern age embodiment of evil.

I think of Newton and his approach to physics and calculus.

Utilitarian approach would deem these individuals exceptional in a way...

I met a man today who, because of his curiosity, discovered the cure to river blindness, a disease that devastated millions of people around the world.

This man also demanded that the only way he would work on this cure was if the company would donate the cure, free of charge, to all those who needed it in the poorest of countries.

I look at the man and I see nothing extraordinary. On the outside, he looks like any other man. He is humble and extremely kind. He doesn't seem to have an ounce of pretentious charcter in his body.

However, I imagined a scenario such as this at a school "bring your father to class" day:

Random Kid #1: My dad is a firefighter. He saves people from fires.
Random Kid #2: My dad works at a shoe factory. He makes the shoes you guys are wearing.
Random Kid #3: My dad is a plumber. He fixes your pipes when it's clogged.
Random Kid #4: My dad is a waiter at a restaurant. He brings you the food you eat.
Random Kid #5: My dad is a construction worker. He fixes the road.
Mr. Incredible's Kid: My dad cured river blindess and saved at least 18 million lives every year and will continue to save millions of lives for years to come.

Random Kid #6: ....Fuuuuck...


Don't get me wrong, I believe wholeheartedly that every individual contributes to society in many ways. I don't see myself as an utilitarian so numbers mean shit to me. I believe that a man cleaning up after us at a diner is just as important as the president of the United States.

But damn...it would suck for Random Kid #6.

Snow!

So it begins again, or shall I say here it ends...

Another year ends and snow season begins. I woke up to sounds of plows and ruckus. I could hear metal plows scraping the asphault and concrete push away mounds of snow.

I find this time of year the best time for introspection.

Winter reminds me of time that has passed....which reminds me how little time there is left.

What a grim outlook.

I found out recently that my personality is INFP. This is news to me.

I have always thought I was a "calculating" individual but alas, the "intuition" score was off the charts. I hate these standardized tests. Like many tests before (School entrance exams, IQ exams, SATs, etc.), I am placed neatly into a stereotype and it dictates what I'm "supposed" to be. Fuck you Carl Jung.

The personality test also told me another thing.

I'm in the wrong profession.

Damn it, my mother was right.

My mother's side has a tradition of developing artistic individuals. My grandmother is a writer. My uncle was a poet. My mother and my aunts are artists.

I feel like Marisa Tome in My Cousin Vinny. She too should have been a mechanic instead of what she eventually had become....an out of work hairdresser.

Megan McCormack

A friend didn't know anything about Megan McCormack.

She is here:



I was shocked because unless you're a hermit, you know about Megan. She hosted several segments on the TV show called GlobeTrekker. It was the most popular show of the 8:16 pm - 8:33 pm partial time slot. It is the TV version of Lonely Planet. Anyway, she was great.

So CHILLAX, pull up a stool, and enjoy.

What kind of weapon are you?

Take the quiz: "What Kind Of Weapon Are you?"

Nuclear Bomb
You're a Nuclear Bomb! You are by far the most dangerous and destructive of all the weapons. You're also the most advanced. You're cold and completely indifferent, destroying everything you can without feeling, remorse or regret. You also leave a nasty aftertaste: Radiation. You plague people for years, poisoning and killing the ones you didn't destroy from the get-go. You are the only weapon with the true ability to destroy mankind. You're horrible.

Hungry Hungry Sam's Club

I saw a strange thing today.

At the local Sam's Club, the workers who dispense the samples were eating their own respective concoctions. They would cook their food, and then just eat it. There were no samples available for the rest of the shopping public because they just kept eating their samples. It was a weird thing to see.

One lady was cooking shrimp tempura. She would place one shrimp in a sample cup and one shrimp in her mouth. I didn't know if this was sanitary but maybe she was just really hungry. I moved through the aisles and saw another lady cooking "southwestern" chicken breasts. She did't even bother cutting it up. She just took the chicken and fed herself the whole thing.

As an aside, I was pleasantly surprised today. The customer service at Wendy's was excellent. I got my food in 30 seconds. Kick ass.

Dreams

I've had strange dreams all my life. For the most part, they were funny dreams.

Last night, I had another one of those funny dreams.

I was holding a dismantled Glock 26. I was putting it back together piece by piece. I finished putting it together and all i had to do was load the clip with fresh bullets.

The strange thing was that the bullets were all different shapes and sizes. Some looked like 50 caliber ammo which I knew couldn't possibly fit into a 26 clip. And yet, for some strange reason, I was able to load 9 of those puppies into this clip. Then, i started to fill my other backup clips with other strange bullets.

I finished loading 5 extra clips and then loaded the gun. Then i heard a voice telling me that I must purchase a better gun than this 26. Though well designed, the 26 is primarily a conceal and carry and I felt like the voice was telling me to get a more powerful and "in your face" type of weapon.

I walked over to the gunshop, which happened to be right next door to my house. I walked in and the shop owner told me that I could pick out any gun I wanted for free because I was such a good customer. I looked over the stereotypical weapons like the Desert Eagles, Berrettas, etc. and picked out a weird looking medieval pistol.

I carried this home and found that i have to use a flintlock mechanism. For some reason though, I found that this gun was so powerful, it could bust through concrete and steel.

Then I woke up. Strange.

I wonder what this means?

Iced Ass

When in Rome....

I've been working hard, trying to adapt to the lifestyles of this foreign land. I've been working hard to blend in with the local folk.

It's been proving to be difficult.

I was at K-mart trying to buy a vacuum cleaner. I don't have much money so I had hoped that I could purchase a cheap version of this household cleaning essential at this store so that I may clean up the pig-stye that i call home.

When I got there, there were no vacuum cleaners. Well, that's a lie. There was ONE vacuum cleaner left in the entire store...and it was $200. I cannot afford a $200 vacuum cleaner. Was it a surprise that this local establishment did not have things in stock? Hardly. Most stores for the lay people around here have nothing on the shelves. I don't know how they make money. I think they get one shipment of goods a year and if they sell out, tough luck. Even if they did have it in stock; that is, even if they had the products in the back, it would take another year for the workers to get it out to the front of the store. I find that I am forced to do most of the shopping online. In any case, I was out of luck in finding a cheap vacuum cleaner. The day before, I had visited 2 Targets and a home depot...they were all sold out. There must have been a massive dust storm attack, and people were stocking up.

I was discouraged once more, having wasted another 2 hours of my life in some godforsaken store. Sadly, it takes 2 hours on average to do anything outside of the house.

Tangent Time

This comes to my theory. Everyone is in a hurry around here. Furthermore, everyone is always late. I couldn't understand how that could be. I assumed everyone was walking briskly, driving quickly and erratically, and was always in some damn hurry because there was so much work to do.

This is NOT the case.

The reason for the hurry is because the foudation of the local infrastructure is so damn lazy.

The people working the checkout counters, the workers at fast food joints, waiters, baggers, cleaners, construction workers, stockers, etc. are fucking lazy. Are there exceptions? Probably. The exceptions, however, do not work around here I can tell you that. It takes me on averge 30 minutes to get through any checkout counter when I'm the only one in line. It takes me on average 30 minutes for a worker to tell me anything about anything. It takes on average a century to fix one mile stretch of road or highway. It takes 8 hours for an oil change. This is why everyone is so fucking late. This is why everything seems so fast paced. This is why everybody is in a goddamn hurry.

This is truly ironic. This part of the country is seen to have fast paced busy lives due to work. But I'm here to correct the misconceptions. People in the bottom rung of the economic ladder is slowing everybody the fuck down.

Now you're probably saying, "how can you be so damn prejudiced? how can you make such generalizations?" The simple answer to that is, "I can" and a better explanation is "it's the truth."

Here is a typical example. I'm at a KFC. I order a chicken leg. The chicken is sitting under a warmer ready to be picked up and placed in a box. The worker takes 10 minutes trying to figure out how to put the chicken leg in a box. Another example: At Costco, there are 30 checkout lanes with 30 checkout employees working. Every two minutes 15 of those checkout lanes are not moving because the workers are either a) talking to another employee about personal life or b) can't figure out how to use the checkout machine. Third example. They are trying to repave the street near my apartment. They've been trying to repave it for the past year and a half. It is still not done. The workers never work. If they do work, they work 30 minutes a day. 20 minutes of that is spent on eating. Fourth example. The county has been trying to fix a 500 yard stretch of highway. They started the work in 1999. It has taken 6 years. They are still not finished.

End Tangent

Back to K-Mart. I drag my weary body to the exit. I see one of those hot dog/food counters you often see at K-marts all over the country. I see the Icee machine and decide to treat myself to some liquid diabetes Type II, you know, to give my insulin a kick in the ass. I head over to the counter and I ask the man for a small blueberry Icee. The guy of course, doesn't listen to me and starts to talk to his co-worker. Let's see 2 minutes gone. He then turns to me and says, "What do you want dawg." I reply with my order and he funktastically walks over to the Icee machine. He fiddles with the machine, trying to figure out how to get the sugar water to ejaculate into my cup. Another 3 minutes gone.

While I'm waiting, an employee walks up to me. I was waiting to hear what this stranger wanted to say to me when she started talking about "breaktime". I didn't understand what was going on when I suddenly realized another worker walking toward me from my right to speak to the employee on my left. I was basically sandwiched between two employees at this point. They proceeded to speak to each other through me. I could not understand why they couldn't just go around me to speak to each other. There was plenty of room. Nevertheless, they talked about taking a break in 15 minutes so they could have a 15 minute break. They also wanted to heat up some chicken fingers to eat during that break. They then started talking about their boyfriends. Meanwhile, both of my ears are bleeding from this banality.

Finally, the guy gives me my Icee. I pay the man and take a sip. Ugh. Gross. The Icee tastes like ass water. My theory is that some worker, during their break, took a massive shit in the Icee machine and made a unique concoction to kill the customers. Digusted, tired, and pissed off, I walk out of the store.

I get to my car and proceed to drive home. While driving, a guy, not paying attention to the road, almost sideswipe me with his Porsche. I give him the customary finger and two friendly honks and three "fuck yous". (Like I said, I'm trying to blend in.) The guy replies with similar private signals and we're on our way.

This is the life in Rome. I'm trying hard not to become a big asshole I'm trying hard not to become one of those fuckers you see on the street pushing you out of the way. But if the inhabitants in this foreign land all behave in such uncouth manner, what am I supposed to do? Do as the Romans do?

Stop Smoking in my face ASSHOLE!

I hate cigarette smoke. I hate it because I don't want to die. The smoke destroys your body. There are no ifs, ands, or buts to this discussion.

But people smoke anyway. And they smoke it in front of me. So i have to breathe in this shitty smoke and lose precious seconds to my life. Not only that, I increase the chances of other health complications. These carcinogens can be catalysts to many diseases.

United States spends $150 BILLION dollars annually treating people with complications that arose from chronic cigarette smoking. Why must I pay for their health? There are ads all over TV to stop people from smoking. They're not airing these ads for some altruistic cause. They are there to cut the cost of healthcare. They are there to protect people like me from paying for some fucker's bad habit. The ads are there to prevent me from dying.

So fuck you to all the smokers out there. If you want to smoke, go into a chamber and smoke yourself to oblivion.

Speaking of healthcare economics, here's an interesting story:

A boy needed life saving treatment at a hospital. The kid doesn't have insurance to cover these treatments. He will die if he doesn't receive them. By law, the hospital cannot just abandon the kid since he lives under the "jurisdiction" of the hospital. So do you know what the hospital is forced to do?

They buy him a house in the next county so that another hospital can take care of him. It was cheaper to buy him a fucking house in the next county than to treat him the rest of his life. It saved the hospital millions of dollars.

This is the sad state of affairs.

So I get pissed when we piss away our money on preventable diseases caused by cigarettes. We have enough shit to worry about. With the money saved, we could save Timmy, or put it into NASA, or declare war on another country and fight for 2 years.

I guess what I'm trying to say is:

Say no to ACID!...I mean Smoking.

H@x0r R37@rd3d

Okay, there was this website hosting some file that i needed to get. The cursed file had a freakin' protection from some cursed program and it would not allow me ample time to click on the link.

Here's what I did.

I made a judgement call on the bandwidth where this "page" was being hosted. So, if i could eat up enough bandwidth, i could slow down this "switching" process that blocked me from clicking the link. I therefore had to suck up part of the site's bandwidth just enough to slow down the "shut down" process to click the link.

After a couple of tries, I got it. I'm very proud of myself. Saints be praised.

These retarded sites are finding stupid ways of "hiding" their files. Frankly, I'm sick of it. One site uses those stupid banner blocking system, which is easily cleared by resizing the window. There are also these "timer" sites. There are other sites not allowing you to right-click, etc. which can all be bypassed easily. Why do these people bother? Why can't they just create clean, minimalistic sites so that the world can use up less bandwidth and stop playing stupid games with surfers.

Btw, the file i was trying to get was not illegal in any way. The guy hosting the lyrics to a song was trying to be funny.

Stonecutters

Watching the 6th season of the Simpsons (the best season of the whole series) motivated me to form a "secret" society like the Stonecutters.

I like the fact that all they do is drink and be merry. We can do the same. Of course, from time to time, we can swing history in our favor too.

I must think of a great name for it.

I wonder what "Death to all humans" in Latin or Ancient Greek might be...

Woes of a SUV owner

I was watching news today when I saw a woman complaining about how she has to cut back on food purchases and other purchases for her children because she had to pay $50 filling up her SUV. She didn't understand what was going on with the economy.

I laughed.

First of all, the woman spent $40,000 on her fancy new 2005 SUV.

Second, the woman bought a SUV.

Third, if she had purchased a cheaper car with better gas mileage, she could have given her children more and paid less overall in gas.

So I laughed. I have no sympathy for these people. Let them suffer. And let their children suffer. That's the only way people will learn....through the suffering of children.

Don't get me wrong, I have no problems with people purchasing $100,000 cars burning gas everywhere. I have no problem destroying the environment. I have no problem with 5 mpg Hummers. But when these owners start complaining about gas prices and the cost of living, I start to laugh.

Post office woman from hell

I have used the USPS all my life. They have been reliable for me and I have not had many problems with their service.

Until today.

I went into the local post office to mail a package. The box was a priority mail box, the kind that they have available for free at the post office.

When I arrived, there was no one at the office and I immediately found myself being helped by a nice friendly gentleman at the counter. The man asked,

"Did you want to send this by priority, which is $18 dollars or would you like to send it overnight for $45 dollars?"

I thought about this for a few seconds and determined that overnight-ing the package might be a good idea. So, I told him that I would like to send the package via express mail.

The man said "no problem" and gave me the extra forms that I needed to fill out.

I filled out the forms and returned to the counter.

I was about to hand the man the package once again when a female civil service employee walked in.

She said to me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm handing him my package."

She stated, "You can't send that. You can't send priority mail box express."

I said, "Okay....can you tell me why?"

She said, "That's a priority mail box. You can't send it express. It has those letters on the side that says 'Priority'. You can only send that box by priority"

I thought to myself, Jesus, I'm spending an extra $20 bucks to send it overnight, you would think that they would want the extra money. Oh well, i guess rules are rules.

I then asked her, "So if the letters on the side of the box that said 'priority' was hidden in some way, I could send it?"

"Yeah"

Okay, so I looked around the office. There was a black sharpie in one of her pen holders. I asked,

"May I borrow the sharpie ma'am?"

"No."

I asked, "Why not?"

She said, "It's not yours and you can't use it if you're going to use it on that box."

"Um...okay. May I then borrow some of your express mail packaging stickers that you give free to the customers so I can cover up the letters?"

I guess I stumped her on that one. She quietly thought about it and replied,

"No."

I said, "Ma'am, I am just trying to send this package. And I'm going to spend a lot of money here doing so. Can't you just hand me those free express mail packaging tape that you have one your counter so I can send this and leave?"

"No."

I wanted to go postal at this point. Sympathy was flowing for those crazy postal workers who went ballistic.

"Fine." I said curtly. I started to walk into the lobby when I caught a glimpse of the man who was helping me before. He had a "I'm sorry she's such a bitch but hey, at least YOU don't have to work with this whore day in and day out" look.

I gave him a nod and went back into the lobby.

I looked around A-team style and tried to figure out what to do. I decided that i'll take one of those overpriced clear packing tape, rip those priority mail paper envelopes into strips big enough to just cover the letters, and tape it up.

I took the next five minutes taping up the box. My anger was at a high at this point. I wanted to trash the lobby. I was very close to doing so until I thought a) getting arrested would not be good b) the bitch would probably make the nice male postal worker clean up the mess.

I kept my calm and approached the counter again with my newly covered box.

The lady decided to personally wait on me. She said, "I can't allow you do monopolize my time by helping you cover up the box."

I look around the office. There were still no customers.

I did not reply.

She then said, "woah, this is gonna cost you $45." She said this in a tone that reeked of "I told you so, you should have used priority you stupid kid".

I still did not reply.

"This is gonna cost you a lot."

I replied, "Is there a question?"

She got the hint and said, "$45 bucks total". I handed her my debit card and paid for it.

As I left, I looked at the male worker one last time. Again, he had a look that said, "Don't cry for me. I'm already dead".

My god, these encounters with lamias are wearing me out. Is there no happy kind females anywhere in this state? I'm thinking, no.

I'm on the Cellphone muthafucka

Once again I find myself at the local McDonalds drive-thru. After a hard day's work, I wanted to purchase a chicken combo for the drive home. Before this quest could be fulfilled however, I had to deal with the guy ahead of me in his 97 Honda Civic.

The man in front of me was in his mid 20s in a blue pinstriped suit. His hair was slicked back and he had gold jewelery all over his hands. He also had one of those swanky cell phones, a mark of great importance and status.

The man started to place his order in the magic box when suddenly his cell phone rang a loud ring. The polyphonic melody reselmbed that of Fat Joe's medly.

"Wassup man. Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting McDonalds"

Now, the woman in the box thought, understandably, the man in the car was talking to her. After all, he was in the middle of ordering his combo meal. When the woman started to probe the man to see whether she had the order right, the considerate man shouted,

"Can't you see I'm on the fucking cellphone?"

I laughed.

It was so ridiculous on so many levels, i had no choice but to laugh.

After he took his sweet time talking to his "bud" on the cell phone, he graciously moved his car forward to the payment window. His spectacle created a long line of cars that spilled over on the main street.

I always wondered about the mentality of these people. Did they have absolutely no consideration for others? Were they just born as assholes? Did society breed them this way? As I pondered these questions, I drove onward...munching on my cold limp fries.

Shitty Conversation

I was at a public loo participating in the ritual of micturition when I heard two gentlemen talking to each other in the stalls. They started talking about how their stomachs were hurting and that they had been waiting all day to engage in defecation. From their conversations, I gathered they were perfect strangers, having only met fortutitously in this public shit dumpster. One gentleman then proceeded to rip a loud fart and vacated his bowels with great vigour.

I found all of this quite odd. I felt as though I was in some dream....a shitty dream. I personally follow the unwritten unspoken rule of public restrooms. When I'm pissing, I look straight ahead, do my business, grunt a satisfactory grunt, and leave the premises post-haste. When I'm defecating in public, I engage in multiple courtesy flushes and try to keep my "shameful" business discreet, taking extra care to not shit on the seats.

When I finally left the bathroom, the gentlemen were talking politics and laughing it up.

So the question is, have I "got it all wrong"? Am I supposed to talk to the people around me for moral support while taking a shit? Am I not "with it"? I think I will try to be brave next time I take a crap in public, and start a conversation about the latest episode of Family Guy with the shitty guy next to me. Who knows, maybe I'll find my new best friend.

Aubrey/Maturin Novels

I am currently reading the Aubrey/Maturin novels written by Patrick O'Brian. They are excellent books.

They started out difficult to understand. It was frustrating in the beginning because I didn't know what the hell was going on. I am a landlubber and I do not understand anything about Naval terms, let alone Naval terms during the Napoleonic era. However, fancy maneuvres and ship riggings are not as important to me as character development. I find the dynamic betwen Aubrey and Maturin fascinating. Maturin is everything I would like to be in a human being.

Maturin is a secret agent for the British. He is extremely competent and he does his job without asking for anything in return. He has great knowledge and skill. He's also eccentric. He brings aboard Aubrey's Man-Of-War strange creatures he wishes to study, to everyone's dismay. He brings bees, sloths, rats, and other weird and strange bugs and animals. He is also dirty, tactless (when it comes to Naval traditions), and funky. He dresses in the funkiest, though practical, clothing.

Maturin and Aubrey are closest friends. However, they do fight various times through out the books. They would fight about tradition, politics, and women (love triangle thing).

I realized that this post has become a 1st grade book report so I will stop. My Zeus, I have become retarded in a span of two months.

In any case, I would recommend reading this series. I haven't been this engrossed since Harry Potter. I wear a wizard hat and cloak and practice my magic using a wand during my adventures with Harry Potter. I think pretty soon, I'll have to buy a 19th century British Post Captain's Hat and Sword.

I was never a fantasy reader but these days I am beginning to love them. I think certain books must be read during certain times in your life to have the greatest impact. But that analysis is for a later time.

BTW, I'm getting more and more pissed off about Kant's analysis of morality. I know Kant struts around philosophy domain like he owns the place but I feel like the fucker went nuts. I wish I knew German well enough to spread my own gospel/bullshit. I remember the days of Locke. His books are so comfortable. They are like marshmellows...soft and cuddly. I can open the book on any page and his reasoning is clear. I may not agree with him but they're clear. The only German guy I tolerate is Nietzsche and the other dude whose name I won't mention.

Time is the fire in which we burn

I realized that is has been over a month since the last update. Well, i must tell you that the 4th dimension affects me little these days. I have no concept of time. I keep track of time in a really gross way. I check my finger nails. You see, in my profession of retail, we need to be strictly groomed. Problem is, I'm a slob and proud of it. I don't believe in fancy clothing or fancy looks. I figured, why lie to the world about who I really am? (This gets into a whole other realm of courting and attracting members of the opposite sex but i don't have the time to get into it right now)

But in the industry, it's all about looking better than the clients. So when I check my nails and it has grown, I know that a certain amount of time has gone by. I then check my calendar and see that I'm getting older and older and poorer and poorer.

So anyway, if I don't call or email or respond to people in months, rest assured that I'm probably thinking that only a couple of days has gone by.

Lies

I went to a certain electronics store we all know and love. I'll call it Pry's.

I went in to purchase a monitor on sale. I asked them if they had any in stock. The guy, looking straight at me, said, "we have none in stock. We sold out."

Normally, I would have believed him. After all, Pry's has many sales and most of the good items sell out quick. But for some reason, I did not believe him. He then proceeded to show me a more expensive monitor and was attempting to sell me the alternative instead.

So, I asked him to type up the item number in the computer. I asked him to check whether other Pry's in the area had more in stock.

He turned on his computer and then started typing up the item number. I am not sure if it was deliberate, but he typed in the wrong number. Fortunately, I had the correct number written down on a piece of paper just in case Pry's employees suddenly happened to get amnesia.

When he typed in the correct number, the computer showed that the store had 134 of those monitors in stock and a total of 1000 in various stores in the area. The man said nothing, went toward the forbidden holding area and brought out my monitor.

I thanked the man and walked away.

As I was walking away, he yelled, "Do you want some extra warranty?"

Incredible.

Freshly Paved Potholes

Everyone around here knows that there are a lot of potholes.

If I decide to live out my life here, I would be forced to buy a gas guzzling, spontaneously exploding SUV with All wheel super offroad capability. If you do not have this, your car, in one years time, will be destroyed.

I have a sedan. In 1 month's time, my alignment went to shit. I hear noises that i have never heard before and the car is becoming a junker as the days pass. Mix that with snow, rain, dust, shit that bombard my car every day, your car gets royally ass kicked.

They "repaved" the main road near my abode. I thought to myself, "Finally. Some smooth road". In 2 day's time, potholes the size of Kentucky littered the road. What is the freakin' point? It took them 2 years to repave the road but in 2 days, the road went to crap. I swear, either the land is bloody fu*ked up or the incompetence runs rampant. Either way, I'm screwed.

I think the environmentalists should focus on fixing the roads here. Maybe then people wouldn't be forced to buy SUVs. Then we can drive those hybrids everyone is talking about. Just for your information, most people buy the Porsche Cayenne around here. Apparently it's good.

The Jaywalker

I was waiting at a red light when suddenly, a woman out of nowhere ran by the hood of my car.

Why was I surprised?

Here are some reasons:

1) The area in front of me was not a designated crosswalk

2) I was waiting out the red in a 8 lane thoroughfare with major traffic

3) She was a zaftig woman.

4) She was running in high heels

5) She was weaving in and out of many cars.

6) She scowled at me.


I was perplexed by the last gesture. I did not know why she would be angry. I was just sitting in my car minding my own business. My facial expression had not changed, though in my mind, I was amazed. If anything, I should be pissed at her for putting my insurance on the line for this woman. Perhaps she was angry at me for not building a crosswalk here in my free time. Who knows. Maybe I need to stop going out.

Waiter Rant

I'm obsessed with the waiter rant blog. I need to find out where he works!!

If someone knows, please tell me!!!!! Argh!

Waiter Rant here suckas!

I know only this:

1) He's a dude
2) He works at upscale Tuscan Italian Bistro
3) His restaurant sounds good.

Yo! Yo! Cancel all that!

The point of drive-thru is to get your food fast. Well, that's my opinion any way. I think that drive-thrus weren't built to have long conversations with tellers or take 20 minutes deciding what you want to eat. Most drive thrus, i believe, should be used by those who know what they want, who have the money, and who want to get out of there as quickly as possible.

Apparently, these aren't the rules that some people follow.

The car in front of me drove to the teller box. The "impatient" man, as soon as he got within' shouting distance of the box, started screaming at the worker to take his order.

"Yo! Anyone there?!?"

The lady in the box said, "Yes, may I help you?"

The man then proceded to order a long list of combos, drinks, and other items from the short list of drive-thru menu items. Not only that, there were substitutions.

I know all this because he was shouting so loud that even God herself woke up and said, "Shut the hell up!"

Anyway, it seemed as though he was almost through when I saw the wife lean over and say something to him. He then said,

"Yo! Yo! Cancel all that! We're gonna start over"

**There is silence in the box**

After a minute, the lady on the other side said, "Ok sir. What would you like"

Even through the crappy voice machine, i could feel her frustration.

The man then proceeded to order some other combination of food and accessories.

I was hungry, frustrated, and laughing. "This is so ridiculous," I thought to myself.

Some places have these timers to tell you how long the workers took to get your food. I think they should have a timer for the ordering process. If you don't get your order in, you get charged extra for overtime x the number of people waiting behind them. If there is no one in the drive thru lane other than yourself, you can take your sweet ass time. If there are others, times a tickin'

Drugs and Construction

I was talking to a local construction worker. He seemed like an amiable gentleman in his early 40s. We talked about the current state of highways near my place when he divulged some info about the business around these parts.

He says that at least 3/4 of workers have drug or alcohol problems in the state. Most of the drug problems deal with cocaine and heroine. Many individuals he personal had worked with have been drunk on the job at one time or another. Unions protect them from everything.

He also said that if you were not an alcoholic and did not use drugs, you could write your own ticket anywhere. You would be coveted by major corporations.

Now, I'm not sure if this info is true or if it reflects the reality of things in the very least but it is still amazing. Maybe the reason they can't seem to finish the jobs in time and budget is because the companies have all of these other problems they have to worry about. I know that in other states, a collapsed stretch of highway have been rebuilt in 6 months good as new. In this state, for some reason, it takes them 5 years to widen a 1 mile stretch of highway. Also, the costs are enormous. If it costs $200,000 in one state, it costs $5 million here (this is according to an individual who tried to start projects in this state).

In any case, it's apalling to think that my life on the road is in the hands of some of these individuals. Frightening.

Ferrari And Me

I drove to my local Target today and lo and behold, the ferrari that i mentioned before in my previous post drove past me.

I could finally put a face on this particular Target red ferrari.

The man driving it is in his mid 40s. He's a slightly balding caucasian male with an attitude.

Why am I writing about this banal incident?

Well, when i got out of my car, he was passing by me with his red spectacle. But curiously, he was glaring at me. I did not know this man so I thought nothing of it.

But then, he drove around and then passed me again. And again he stared at me.

I continued to walk the lonely walk toward the Target entrance.

The man kept circling the parking lot but he continued to pass me while staring.

He did this 7 times.

This was really strange. "Have I done something wrong?" I thought. "Did I do something to offend him or oppress him somehow? Did I wrong him in a previous life? Did I kill his son in battle, God forbid?"

Then I thought, maybe I stole his parking space.

I think that was it.

You see, this parking structure has numbered spaces so it's easy to remember what your favorite spot may be. I have seen him park his ferrari near where I had parked my car today. Maybe it was his special space. Of course, he usually takes 2 spaces but that's beside the point.

He finally parked at another remote corner of the parking lot where no cars were around it.

What an eccentric guy. I hope I become just like him.

Don't Stop on a Highway

There are very few reasons why you would stop in the middle of a highway.

1) There is traffic

2) There is an accident (you are involved or one occured in your vicinity)

3) Cop pulls you over (you don't stop in the middle of the highway though, you move to the side and stop

4) An animal jumps out in front of you.

5) There is a traffic light at different sections of the highway (there are several areas in the US where this is so)

Suffice it to say, there are very few reasons why one would stop in the middle of a highway with a 65 mile speed limit.

However, today, a woman decided to stop. I have no idea why she stopped in the middle of the highway. I was just driving along behind her when she started to slow down. There was no one around. It was just me and her. It was a 2 lane highway and because her speed was good, I cruised along with her.

She started to slow down and then stopped. As I passed her, I couldn't figure out what the hell she was doing. Other cars started coming up behind her. They were honking to get her going. Her Mercedes seemed fine (it was relatively new model, probably 1 year old). It wasn't like it broke down. It was an automatic. She wasn't in distress. She wasn't on the cell phone. Nothing. She just stopped.


But you know, this shit happens all the time.

I live near an upscale area. I don't personally live in a posh area. I live near a freaking prison. But, I can say that the surrounding areas "across the tracks" seem very nice. I can say that I live 8.5 miles from someone who was once the most powerful man in the world.

People here drive a lot of Porsches. It's the car of choice. They also have ferraris. It was funny parking my POS car next to a ferrari at the local Target.

The people driving these REALLY expensive cars are old.

Now, not old drivers suck. But as you get older, your reflexes slow down. I'm sure I'll be a shitty driver when I get older too. In any case, they cause so many accidents and traffic jams in these parts it's freaking crazy. They pull all these weird shit on the road. I'm surprised that I'm still alive.

I heard one elderly gentleman say that everyone should buy Audis because you can get into accidents and still survive. Was this a warning?

ADHD Blows

Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (or ADD in popular terms) has been perceived for the most part in our society as a disorder not too serious compared to other debilitating disease. In some ways it's true. I suppose it depends on the severity. We see the stereotypical grade school child getting poor grades and the subsequent prescription of magical drugs to counteract it. We even use term for condescending purposes, diagnosing friends or family when they're acting crazy.

However, socially, ADHD can be devestating to the individual suffering as well as those around him.

I know an adult individual with ADHD. This person cannot concentrate. People, including his fiance, would try to have meaningful conversation with him but he can't keep his mind on the subject for more than 10 seconds. They would have conversations about family and the future when he would look away and not pay attention to the conversation at hand. I would be talking to him and he would look away and interrupt with "cool, look at that". This is really frustrating. (I am reminded of the Simpsons episode where Homer sees his long lost twin brother "Guy Incognito" but then gets distracted by the dog with the bushy tail) Many times, he would forget what he was talking about or what anyone else was talking about. His symptom would kick in, for example, when you're ranting to him about something or other, when he interrupts with some ridiculous subject because he has lost track of what was happening. At these times, you want to just kick the crap out of him but your frontal lobe kicks in instead and prevents you from doing so.

Medication helps somewhat but in the end, ADHD blows donkey chunks.

Annoying songs

Crazy Frog - Axel Foley Song

Here is the original annoying tone for your cell.

"I can't find the hole"

I went to KFC/Taco Bell to get some late lunch.

They are known to be EXTREMELY slow.

The term "Fast Food" doesn't exist around these parts. I have been spoiled early in life with prompt, friendly service from these establishments. That way, my road to obesity was also quick and painless.

And due to their predictable tardiness, I play a game where i time this Drive Through experience. You'll be happy to know that these men and women of this particular KFC did not let me down. They clocked in at 24.3 minutes. That is the time starting with ordering via the ominous "box" to getting my bag o' food.

BTW, they ALMOST got my order wrong again, but fortunately, I caught their mistake when they asked if i wanted gravy with my macaroni.

Macaroni, Mashed Potatoes. They sound the same. They both start with M. I can accept that.

This was the fastest time yet. But i must say I was visiting this establishment during 1) off hours 2) no one was in the sit down restaurant 3) no one was in the drive thru in front of me 4) and there were only 4 workers standing around doing nothing rather than the usual 6. Usually, no one is working and the lines in both the drive thru and the sit down part of the restaurant get longer than anyone can imagine. But still, it was damn "fast". Hyperbole? Hell, I wish.

Anyway, the guy was handing me my bag when I asked him for some KFC hot sauce.

The guy grabbed 5 or 6 packets and proceeded to place them in the bag. I could see, however, that he had missed the "hole" and that my packets were laying outside of the bag within moments of tumbling to the ground.

Before i could say anything, he handed me the bag by the handle, and of course, all the sauce packets fell to the floor. Then, he promptly closed the bulletproof/fu*k you window.

I tried to say, "excuse me sir" but i think that window also protects the workers from complaints.

I waited a bit to get his attention when suddenly he opened the window to give me another bag of food and drink. I believe this "set" was for the car now behind me.

I told him, "No, that's not for me. I would like some hot sauce please. The sauce you gave me fell on the floor"

The guy then gave me the fiercest look ever. It looked as though he wanted to pull out a .45 and shoot me in the head. He shook his head as though it was my fault that this a-hole couldn't get it in the hole.

As retaliation, he grabbed 32 bags of Hot sauce and slammed it into my hand (i counted them). Then he quickly closed the window again.

Wow. What an experience. I was once again entertained.

Moral of the story, "Get it in the hole or else no one will be satisfied."

Salsa Picante Por Favor

I went to my local "McDowells" to get some Breakfast Burritos and Coffee.

Now I know you're probably thinking, "Why in the world would you eat Breakfast Burritos from McDonald's? Go to a Mexican restaurant or at least a Tex-Mex to get a decent one!"

Don't get me wrong. I would LOVE to eat somewhere else. Unfortunately, the closest restaurant resembling an establishment that dispenses Latin Flava' is six miles away. Six miles is freakin' far for a damn burrito.

So I pull up to the ol' drive-thru (drive-through) and a nice middle-aged lady hands me my bag full of sustenance.

Now, I like my burritos with salsa. It tastes better that way. Ideally, I would like some pico de gallo but this is McDonalds. I must compromise.

I proceed then to ask the lady for some salsa for my burrito.

Me: "May I have some Salsa please?"

Lady: "For your coffee?"

Me: "No, for the breakfrast burrito maam"

(I'm forcing a smile at this point because I can feel this is going to be another "showdown" of sorts.)

Lady: "I already put some sugar in your bag"

Me: "Oh thank you. But actually, I am asking for some salsa for my burritos"

(She's looking at me like I'm from another planet)

Lady: "You wanted cream too?"

Me: "Huh? Well, I think I have some cream but I would like some salsa"

Lady: "...."

Me: "Salsa. Salsa Picante? The red stuff that you use for tacos, and nachos."

(I am maintaining my polite voice. I could feel the tension and the stare of an angry impatient man in the car behind me. I'm sure the guy is thinking, "What the fu*k is going on up there? Is that prick ordering for 100?")

Finally, the lady says,

Lady: "Oh. Salsa. Mild or Hot?"

Me: "Hot please. Spicy."

Lady: "Here you go"

She hands me two packets of mild salsa and smiles.

I thank the lady and drive off with my mild salsa.

So here is the score:

World Out to Get Me: 20
Me: 0

And we're at the bottom of the 9th inning with 2 outs and bases empty.

*sigh*

Niccolo Machiavelli

This man wrote a letter called "The Prince".

It was a revelation of sorts for those wishing to stay in power.

I had the fortunate opportunity to read this in 10th grade. I also read it many times after that. I think the brilliance of this book is the unsaid/unwritten portions of Machiavelli's philosophy.

I hope to write about it some day.

-Another random entry from the mixed up files of basil e frankweiler

Addendum: Music h8er

I am trying to study for an exam in "complicated auto mechanics" and my neighbor is blasting his music. I hate this. You would think they would have the courtesy to keep it down. I hate these pricks.

I'm glad that at least for most of my early years, I was blessed with considerate roommates.

Thanks Ned.

Suite 250 Lives on!!!

Meshach Taylor and all the rest

Meshach Taylor is a TV personality i don't know very well.

The only thing i DO know about this man is that he's on TV as guest-something-or-other in various TV shows.

He was on "To Tell the Truth" game show and I believe currently, he's on "Pet Star". In both instances, he is a judge of some contest.

I heard someone say recently that they felt sad for this guy.

Sad? Are you freaking kidding me? These "once-been" (i don't like to use has-been) actors, actresses, comediennes, etc. make close to 50,000k at LEAST to be on any show like this. If they do two or three stints on any TV production, they make above average income. Now, struggling actors/actresses starting out in the biz have it tough, and they don't make that kind of money but if you hit it big once, you have the resources most of the time to get by. You may not be able to live in glamour but you can live better than the minimum wage single mother struggling to feed her child.

I also hate the arrogance of some people. This one girl i know in my trade school said to me that $75,000 a year isn't enough to live on.

I was f*ck*ng shocked. I asked her, but how can most of America live?

She considered them poor.

I suppose then i'm destitute beyond help.

What i find striking is that she is of "African-American" decent. I will talk about her "ethnic" background because though I am not black, I grew up in a destitute area where many minorities including blacks lived. My close friends in adulthood dubbed my childhood area as "ghetto shit town". They are not incorrect in making that assessment because when i went by recently, it was still shitty and dangerous. I wondered what all of my old neighbors and friends who were also of "African-American" decent and were at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder would say in response to this girl's statement.

I think they would be upset.

I brought up this "African-American" example because the girl was black. This statement could have easily come from any race and my response would have been the same. I have seen the struggle of poor individuals from every background imaginable. I'm amazed that $74,000 was considered poor by this girl. I think most people would give an arm or a leg to make that much a year.

I guess middle class would be even more out of reach if the world had revolved around her idea of life.

Anyway, I forgot what the point of this rant was so i'll end it by saying, "don't cry for Meshach Taylor."

Time is running out

So the Voyager space craft reached interstellar space. Bravo. This is an example of NASA's heyday.

Time is running out for me. I want contact with extraterrestrial intelligence and i'm not getting younger. I have a plan to do it.

I think we should launch millions and millions of payloads into space. It does not matter where those damn things end up. I just want to send as many space vehicles/junk into space and away from earth. I call it the shotgun approach to finding "life". Maybe, just maybe, some dude in another part of the universe will find one of our debris and get curious.

Now some may wonder, what if they come to enslave the human race?

My answer. Who cares. By the time they get here, I'd probably be in my golden years ready to enter the afterlife (aka fertilizer farm). War? Slavery? Piracy? Bring it on. I was hoping humanity would become a pirate race traveling through space anyway.

Electric Mobility

There was an elderly individual on one of those electric mobility scooters. The battery was faulty (he man was constantly kicking it) and the mobile chair was extremely jerkey. Suddenly, the chair got some juice and the chair bolted across the walkway toward me at lightning speed. I thought I was going to get run over. Fortunately, he swerved and sped toward the busy intersection.

He managed to stop before he hit an oncoming truck.

Moral of the story? We need better energy storage technology.

Criminals and work

I'm driving home from another day of grueling work when this guy cut me off.

Now, I don't like to stereotype but this guy was clearly a criminal.

He had tattoos. He had a shaved head. He had a murderous look in his eyes. He looked frustrated. He looked as though he felt the world was against him in every possibly way and like a frightened animal in a fit of rage, he was ready to strike at the first thing that came within' arms...or in this case car's length.

Does this description remind you of a criminal? It shouldn't unless you're a racist. I called him a criminal because he cut me off. And under this state's laws, cutting people off constitute reckless driving and can be ticketed or fined. If pedestrians were in danger, he could even be charged with a misdemeanor.

-Going insane

Dunkin' Donuts Part Dooks

Well, it happened.

The Dunkin' Donuts I frequently visit and the establishment that served me that terrible Latte I mentioned previously was involved in a fire. It apparently happened yesterday due to some faulty wiring. Surprise surprise.

Hopefully, when it's rebuilt, they'll serve better drinks. Ouch. Too soon?

Most Impressive.

At least i'm not hanging out with Odysseus.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Mr. Bush's choice

Mr. Bush spoke at the graduation of a small Christian Liberal Arts college, Calvin College yesterday.

First, Christian Liberal Arts is an oxymoron. You cannot have "Liberal Arts" as a Christian. That would be against the Christian faith. Often, these "Liberal Arts" programs fill honest Christian students' heads with wild heretical ideas that lead them astray. Its paradox is similar to the term Christian Science. Science is a disease, destroying every honest Christian belief we hold dear.

Some students wore stickers that said "God is neither Democrat nor Republican." This is not true. Once again, this is an example of how the corruptive influence of so called "higher education" can destroy the innocent mind. True Christians are NOT democrats. They are faithful Republicans. After all, God would never support the murder of the innocent fetus.

This is another reason why we must not support these heretical movements such as Harry Potter. My friend Yenemy loathes Harry Potter. I applaud him for his stance on these books. Yenemy's faith in our Lord and of Bush convinced him to throw these books away and out of sight. Please join me on July 16th in protesting the release of the new Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. My local Barnes and Noble reduced the price of the book to $18 just to lure and tempt the faithful into buying these horrible books. I will be there with the true Book and my Cross.

I respect Mr. Bush's choice to speak at this school. However, I believe that he shouldn't have wasted his precious time at some ungrateful school. He could have spent his time speaking with the truly faithful like myself at a rally or a town meeting.

Diabetes USA

I went to Dunkin' Donuts to get a latte.

They have this new promotion. They're selling this concoction called "Chocolate Dipped Latte". I love new and strange crap from various fast food joints.

I decided to try this new drink.

Boy, was it a mistake.

I'm going to give the Dunkin Donuts franchise the benefit of the doubt and say that all drinks branded under this new promotion probably do not taste like one big sugar glob like the one i received today.

My drink was SO THICK and full of Sugar/Chocolate/Strawberry Jam that i couldn't even get the damn thing through a straw, let alone down my throat. And this was WITHOUT the standard whipped cream that they pile on top. It was so sweet that I could have used a teaspoon of this concoction for breakfast syrup on sweet sweet waffles.

I thought to myself, if I drank this for one week, i would have full blown adult onset diabetes. Disgusting.

I ended up throwing that away.

This is a warning. Don't drink the Choco Dipped Lattes unless you want to die.

Also, I'm thowing this story on the ongoing saga of crappy customer service pile.

New Fashions are here

As someone in retail, I must be always up to date on the lastest trends. Well, the new fall line of clothing is here.... and it's exactly the same.

There are many men in my industry that are of "special orientation". They seem to enjoy the supposed greatness of new styles. As a heterosexual male, it is an experience i cannot fully understand.

Frankly I don't give a crap. I'm there to earn some money so I can pay for trade school. Hopefully by the end, I'll be able to move on to some managerial postition at Target or Macy's.

In fact, a cush job at Target would suit me just fine.

I am a badass Jedi

Star Wars Horoscope for Libra

You are on a lifelong pursuit of justice and determined to succeed. You convey the art of persuasion through force. You always display your supreme intelligence. You have a great talent in obtaining balance between yourself and your surroundings. Star wars character you are most like: Obi Wan Kenobie

What is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

Is this accurate?

You Have A Type A- Personality

A- You are one of the most balanced people around Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you. When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love! You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

Ghonie was a Smart Executioner in a past life. Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

Newsweek

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=760160

I don't even know what to say. If Newsweek is found to be in the wrong, I will be pissed off beyond imagination. The damage these f***ers have caused cannot be quantified. The reporters and the editors should be made to go to the homes of the family members who lost a loved one due to the riots/protests.

It happened again

I went to McDonald's today. Due to my financial situation, I have to resort to eating at only the most elite establishments such as this.

Me: Hi, may I have the #9 combo. It's the filet o' fish combo.

MD Guy: Coke with your meal right?

(Okay, let me explain. Apparently, around here, they don't ask you what drink you want. Instead, they tell you what i'm supposed to be drinking. Now, if they assumed Coke all the time, I could start to speculate that maybe the franchise is pushing Coke or whatever. But this McDonald's changes it up. One time they would say, "Root Beer right?" like they knew me or something. Perhaps the guy has ESP and can sense my wants and needs through the speakerbox. Not only that, this shit happens at Wendy's and at Taco Bell. I think it might be a regional thing where they force drink choices on you. Anyway, back to the story)

Me: No, I'll have the Barqs.

MD Guy: That'll be $6.50.

Me: Woah woah. No, i ordered the combo. It says here the price is $4.95.

MD Guy: *silence*

(So I drive up to the window.)

Me: I think that's the wrong price. I asked for the #9 combo.

MD Guy: Oh sorry about that. $5.25.

Me: Here you go. Thanks.

(I pick up my food at the next window. They hand me an orange drink.)

Me: Uh. I ordered Barqs.

MD Guy #2: A what?

Me: The root beer.

MD Guy #2: Oh, my bad

(I don't even mind the hip language, though I'm not "WITH IT")

MD Guy #2: Here's your meal.

Me: Thanks.

(At this point I drive off and enter the highway/fast street/pothole shit road. I open up my bag to munch on some frenchies when I find out that something smells weird. ...They gave me the fucking Quarter Pounder... I can't believe this has been happening to me ALL year long. I don't know what's happening. I'm like in some bizzaro world. I think there is only one answer. I cannot speak english)

You scored as Existentialist. Existentialism emphasizes human capability. There is no greater power interfering with life and thus it is up to us to make things happen. Sometimes considered a negative and depressing world view, your optimism towards human accomplishment is immense. Man is condemned to be free and must accept the responsibility. Existentialist 100% Postmodernist 100% Idealist 75% Cultural Creative 75% Modernist 69% Materialist 69% Romanticist 0% Fundamentalist 0% What is Your World View? created with QuizFarm.com

Hospital

Estaba en el hospital porque tuve la rodilla inflamada. Fue a la sala de emergencia and tuve que esperar en la sala de espera por quatro horas!

Fortune Cookie

I like eating Fortune Cookies. They're tasty. I don't know why some people hate Fortune Cookies.

Someone at my trade school keeps calling me John. My name is Horacio damn it!!

Customer Service

I hate the customer service around here, especially the fast food joints.

Today:

Taco Bell Incident 5/11/05

Me: Yeah, may i have the nacho supreme with no beans, a taco salad, and 2 regular tacos?

TB Guy: So you want a burrito supreme with tacos?

Me: No, no. NACHO supreme with NO beans, a taco salad and 2 regular tacos.

TB Guy: We don't have a taco salad.

Me: But you have a big poster here with big letters saying "Try our new Taco Salad". Did you guys run out?

TB Guy: No sir. We have never sold taco salads.

Me: Ok, just give me the nachos and the 2 regular tacos.

TB Guy: No beans right?

Me: Right.

TB Guy: Please drive around to the window

Me: How much is it?

TB Guy: *silence*

Me: *sigh*

I get my order and i get home. They gave me nacho supreme with extra beans. I have never seen this big pile of shitty beans my whole life. They got the 2 tacos right. The sauce they gave me was for KFC Chicken.

This shit happens to me ALL THE time.

El nino esta resfriado

Nada fuera de lo comun.

Walls, Doors, and music

I really hate music. I hate the fact that people are addicted to it. How is it that a human cannot go 1 minute without freakin' music?

STOP LISTENING TO MUSIC. Enjoy the silence, especially when the walls, doors, and floors are super thin and are made of half inch drywall.

I fucking hate music.

Addendum to: To WAR!

Do not confuse me with Mr. Pubes. Mr. Pubes is someone else entirely.

Mr. Pubes has secret powers....he can murder people with his extensions. He also gains energy from them. You should see him on the basketball court.

To WAR!

I'm a 13 year old pube boy. I learned many things during the presidency of George W. Bush. I learned that it's okay to go to war for freedom and it's okay to go to war to spread democracy. I am not being facetious. I believe it 100% unlike the stupid liberals chanting anti-american slogans like "Be smart, don't start!". Now i feel as though this blog thingie has become extremely socialistic, maybe even marxist heaven forbid. Therefore, I must spread my brand of democracy everywhere. And like my mentor, I will declare war on any that curb my right to spread freedom. I have learned that a nearby blogger/commie named Yenemy is a hippie liberal commie. Therefore, I declare war on that hippie son of a bitch.

I am sending a tacticle (like a testicle) nucular bomb up Yenemy's liberal patulous hole of sinful business.

Next move is yours commie.

Dead kid on the street

I just remembered something from my childhood. I remember walking back from school when i saw a dead body on the corner of the street. Apparently, the kid was shot and stabbed (you believe that shit?) while he too was going home. I remember seeing the feet sticking out of the sheets on that bloody corner. I went into the 7-11 and bought myself a Whatchamacallit.

Stupid drive-bys. They destroyed that 7-11 a year later. And the freaking dairy was shot up by a Uzi.

I also remember the race wars. But that's another story.