A (really boring) Day In My Life

(Stream of consciousness...begin!)

Freezing.

I wake up and find the weather to be extremely cold. I decide that I need a hat of some kind. I usually don't wear hats. I look like some kind of murderer.

I waddle over to K-mart and find a skull cap for one dollar. Success! The guy at the cash register looks as though he does not want to be there. In fact, he looks almost suicidal. He looks up at me. The expression on his face telepathically signal to me that he wanted me to kill him. I avoid pulling out my imaginary Glock 26 and put him out of misery.

I walk out of the store and observe the people around me. I have lived here for 1 year and a half now and I have made this astonishing observation.

Sadness.

No one smiles in this godforsaken state. I have observed that there exist in these parts 3 "moods" or "faces" one wears when an individual struts about in town.

1) The "I'm tired" face
2) The "I'm angry" face
2) The "I'm REALLY angry" face.

I find myself getting more and more depressed as I look at their faces and into their tired/angry eyes.

Pain.

I decide that I need to go the pharmacy to get my prescription filled for some cox2 inhibitors. My cartilage has been acting up.

I get to the local pharmacy and see a kind pharmacist. There is no smile but I could tell she wasn't a total bitch. (I'm pretty good at judging character just by looking at the contours of the face. It's my gift. Toot toot.) I give her the coveted prescription paper. She presses thousands of keys on her keyboard. 2 minutes....3 minutes...4 minutes...5 minutes go by and she's still typing away.

I ask her if there is anything wrong. I ask, "Is there anything wrong?"

"Your insurance requires a "pre-approval" before I can give you name brand drugs."

Shit. This is going to be a problem. If the drugs aren't life-saving, one probably has to wait for a generic alternative. And if I have to buy these drugs out of pocket, it's going to cost $100-$120 for my fill. I create an impromptu tmesis in my head: fan-fucking-tastic.

The kind pharmacist calls my doctor. The doctor, of course, isn't in. She leaves a message about the need to get the medication approved.

The pharmacist turns to me and says, "You're going to have to come back later. You can call us in a couple of hours. In fact, you might want to call the doctor yourself to see how long it might take to get the medication approved."

I curse the healthcare industry under my breath and head home. I look at the clock and I have wasted 2 hours on this affair.

I head to the local upscale mall. I'm starving at this point and they have my prescription for my hunger. Only they can satiate my desire for Ranch 1 chicken sandwiches.

Big fucking mistake.

There are 10 ferraris trying to get in the parking structure. I have never seen this many ferraris in my life. The most i have seen till now was at a dealership. And they only had 8 in the lot. I pass by the porsche 911 turbo to head to the alternate entrance. The porsche yupster gives me a dirty look. He adjusts his 3000 dollar Armani suit and then yells something at his wife/mistress next to him.

Happy fucking holidays.

I get in the parking structure and I see an attendant trying to manoeuvre all of the $100,000 cars into spaces. I feel totally out of place with my 1997 POS. I head higher and higher in the structure. I think to myself, "I gotta get away from these fuckers". Finally, I see some relief on the 7th floor. No cars. I park my car and head for the food court.

Chaos.

There is a million people in the food court. I say this without hyperbole. I count the people one by one and the total count comes to...okay, maybe it was a hyperbole but it was a lot of fucking people. (No, they weren't fucking)

I finally get to the food counter and order my chicken sandwich. I eat my food alone at a table designed to accomodate five. I feel self conscious because people are fighting for seats. I could sense a family of 5 giving me dirty looks for taking their table. I'm ready to rip their throats out if they give me lip. I enjoy my french fries and coke.

Time.

I look at my watch (actually, it's the clock on my cellphone) and see that it's time to call my doctor. I'm hoping he is in his office now. I call and I get his nurse. I give my name and am about to explain the situation when she interrupts me.

"Oh! I talked to the insurance company and they said it will take 24-48 hours to approve the drug payment."

"I see. Do I need to call you or does the pharmacy call me?"

"Wait a minute. You're that student right?"

"Yes."

"Hold on one second. Let me talk to the doctor."

....Minutes go by....

The nurse comes on the phone and says, "You're in luck. I searched through some departments and found some samples for you. It's a month's worth of drugs. Come pick it up when you get a chance."

Amazed.

I reply, "Thank you. Thank you very much. I really appreciate it."

I finish up my coke and head to my car. I'm racing to the office. Free drugs are worth the risk of getting a speeding ticket.

I get to the office. The kind nurse on the phone is nowhere to be found. Instead, I am greeted by the bitchy nurse. (How can I tell she's a bitch you ask? Well, my super powers of observation aside, she happened to act unkindly toward a patient just as i walked in.)

The surly nurse says, "Maaaaay I help you?"

"Yes, the kind nurse said she had some drugs for me."

The surly nurse looks up at me with her crooked eye (i really can't describe it well) and gives me the look of disdain.

"What is your name?"

I give her my name.

She sighs and walks over to the secret vault. She looks around and sees a bag with my name on it. Is this yours?

I say, "Yes'm"

She hands me the bag and leaves quickly. I wait for her to come back and I tell her, "Would you please tell the kind nurse thank you and merry christmas."

The surly nurse softens up a bit and replies, "Will do."

I leave the office with my bag of gold. I get to my car and guilt sets in. I realize that if i had to, I could have found some way of paying for this. I think about those who truly can't afford the drugs and have to choose everyday between eating and being pain free. This is some fucked up shit right here.

I don't return the drugs.

I head home to my apt. I turn on my computer and type a blog entry.

Yenemy comes online. He yibyabs about nothing in particular. Hehe.

THE END.