Tired

I find that when I'm dead tired, things become clearer. All the little stupid shit that I worried about when idle gets pushed to the background and I come to focus on the absolute necessities to survive my life. For example, during my less busier month, I thought about all of the restaurants and eateries I wanted to visit around this town. Now, all I care about is getting comfort food down my throat as fast as I can. When I was not busy, I found myself wanting to watch more TV, movies, and participate in activities. Now, I don't care. I want to visit family and friends even if it's just for a short while and sit on the couch and do nothing.

And that brings up a good point. The best decision I made is to come back to where I grew up. In this busy stressful profession, you need stability more than anything. Anything includes prestige, money, fame, etc. Location, location, location is the most important for me. Others have other goals but for me it's always been comfort. and comfort can only be brought about by being near people I know. Next year will bring another change in my life when i have to change locations. However, I will be closer to where I want to be so I'm happy about that. I think that will help tremendously.

Sleep deprivation does many things to your psyche. There is a laundry list of things that are bad that come about from lack of sleep. There is one good thing though. And that is apathy toward people's perception of you. You just don't care what other people think. You need to get your work done and go home. That is all I care about right now.

I often think about whether I have made the right choice in going into this profession. People keep telling me "it'll get better". I don't know what that really means. My expectations of "better" may be different from all others.

I am on my 8th day of my 12 day work week. I'm ready to crash. My team is annoying the shit out of me. One guy is a weirdo prick. Other is the same. I'm tired of both of them. I am trying my best to minimize my interaction with them.

I can't wait until this weekend when I don't have to do anything. This weekend also marks the halfway point of this block. That's cause for celebration too.