The Saga Continues

I have neglected this blog again. I need to start writing again. I hope that this blog survives for many years because it has been a great way to chronicle my life. I look back at the crap I wrote and it's really amusing. It seems like my life is hard (it is).

It has been a loooooong 9 months. If I can sum up the last 9 months in one word, it would have to be.... "disappointing." Career-wise, I am where I am expected to be. It's neither fantastic nor terrible. It's a job that I go to every morning and I am tired by the day's end. I get paid every month and I'm thankful. Personal life though is pretty much non-existent while working. I go out from time to time but I feel like I'm not building the kind of friendships I am used to with the close friends I have now. It's like college all over again. I never really had friends wanting to go into this industry and now that i'm part of it, I still find the people …incompatible.

I am hoping for some excitement in life. I'm not sure how to achieve this. Actually, I don’t need excitement. I just need direction and goal. Perhaps I should start behaving differently? Should I do things I wouldn't normally do?

I have sent my passport to get it renewed. Perhaps when it comes back to me, I will take a trip. Perhaps, I will find something interesting in a foreign land. I don’t know. I’m pretty fucking tired right now.

I do like writing here though. It relieves a bit of the stress.

Chuck

I caught an episode. And it was funny. Will attempt to watch all. The end.

It's Official

I have lost my marbles. Lack of sleep is destroying me. The last two days have been horrible. I have slept in intermittent spurts and I have not had a chance to recuperate from the demanding work. I nap during the day to "catch up" but it further messes up my sleep schedule and it makes everything even worse.

I don't know what's happening

My schedule:

Sleep 1 hour, then work for an hour, sleep 2 hours, work for an hour, sleep 30 minutes, work for an hour, sleep 2 hours, work for 3 hours. This was my night. Last month was a nightmare because I was working really really long hours weekly. I did a lot of overnights and it was very tough. Now I'm strictly nights. This fucks me up even more. I am like a zombie. I don't know what the hell i'm doing half the time. I worked this morning...and now I have to work again tonight. Night shift is a weird thing. I am consistently tired, which does not help my current emotional state which I think can best be described as dysthymic.

What can I do to break out of this funktastic streak? You tell me. I'm really stressed out. I'm studying and working, studying and working. This was my life for the last few decades and it seems to be continuing. I suppose I should be thankful but when you're tired as I am, you just don't care.

When will I get my break? When will it be my time? Help me superman!

Month of Hell

I have made it through the month of hell. It has been a rough few weeks. It has been emotionally and physically draining. I don't know if I am a better person having gone through it.

Two weeks ago, I worked 96 hours. Sure, the week after I only worked 60 hours but it really kicks your ass because you have no days off.

This week, I'm night shift. That means more cold nights at work. I'm tired. I wish I could see the sun a little more. I wish I could just relax and have fun.

But even with time off, coordinating this fun time is difficult. As much as I enjoy doing shit alone, I would rather do things with friends. The problem is, most of my friends are working or doing other shit when I have time off. And when they do have time off, I'm in the depths of hell working.

Ah the joys of living life...

Fate

Does believing in fate make you a more optimistic person?

I'm back

I have not had cable or internet for about a week. It's good to get back online.