Grabbing one's nuts...

Chris Kaman, the player that was violated, stated that "he tried to rip my nuts off".

NBA action...it's fantastic.

In the news...

(Caption: The 3 year old girl clearly wants peace. She told the reporter, "I believe Mr. Bush is a disgrace. Bush is leading America down the toilet and we're helpless to stop it. I am here to show my disgust." She also told the reporter that she made the flag herself using lint from her belly button and left over placenta from her birth. It took her 4 years.)


"End the war!"
"Impeach BUSH!"
"What me worry?!?"

These are the chants echoing throughout the streets of Lower Manhattan today. I am amazed that these people are here. I am amazed because I thought it was supposed to be the Anti-immigration reform rally today. I was expecting to hear "Viva Mexico!" and see Mexican flags all over the streets.

Note to the immigration protestors: It's not a good idea to show nationalistic pride of another country when you're trying to win the hearts and minds of Americans. That is not a great strategy. In Los Angeles, Cardinal Mahoney had to tell the crowd this observation. The protestors did a better job the second time around...but some of the activists wore American flags on their mouths like bank robbers of the Old West and made hand gestures that suggested they were shooting something. Not good either.

I respect the right to protest in the streets. I believe one of the think tanks in the United States use the frequency of demonstrations as a factor in rating how healthy a democracy is in a country.

However, I do not agree with the sentiments of the people protesting against the war today. Don't get me wrong, I think it's important that we get out of Iraq as quickly as possible. But pulling troops now would be foolish and I think most sane people would agree. And when you hear these well meaning liberals shout slogans like, "Bring them home now", they just look idiotic and I don't think it really helps the cause. I think it just reinforces the crazy stereotypes of liberals and entrench the conservative stance.

I also don't know what these people are worried about. Jesus is on our side...right?...unless you're an American muslim soldier or some a believer of another religion. Don't worry, God loves America...or was that Jesus? Hmm...we're fucked aren't we?

On a happier note, Mexico is looking to legalize pot, cocaine, and heroin. This is not that much of a surprise. Smart move Mr. Fox. I'm sure congress is now really enthusiastic about allowing illegal immigrants to cross the border. Great way to win the hearts and minds of conservative American law makers.

Although....the term conservative seems to be synonymous with corrupt these days so anything can happen.

-Viva Puerto Rico (aka America)

Psychotic Drivers

I live near a tertiary care center that has a large inpatient psychiatric center. They also have a fair amount of outpatient services. In fact, it can get very busy. Thinking about all the people that need psychiatric help can be at times...overwhelming.

And thinking about all the drivers utilizing those services for various reasons frighten me at times. Sure, some disorders have nothing to do with driving. But what about those people who are depressed, addicts going through withdrawl, or those just starting to exhibit more serious symptoms? If the symptoms can affect judgement, wouldn't that translate to driving skills in some way?

I often see people coming out of the institute get confused at the crossroad with 4 stop signs. No one knows who is supposed to go first. Trying to drive through there is really frustrating. I wonder whether this confusion derives from psychosis or just shitty driving skills. I wonder if car accident rates are higher near these centers.

I recognize the importance of these patients seeking help. I understand that perfectly "sane" people cause a shit load of accidents and make crappy choices on the road.

Still, I can't shake off the feeling that one of these days, while driving through that intersection, a distressed individual in one of those huge SUVs will drive straight into my car to end it all.

Am I psychotic to think this way?

TV in Japan

If you want to kill some time.

Link

The scrotum twins take the cake...

Vampires: IT'S A TRAP!!

(Illustration of the Vampire Gauntlet)

Vampires have descended upon our trade school. These vampiros harvest blood for their demonic purposes (ie. saving people's lives) every other month. They are known to some as the RED CROSS volunteers but I call them Blood-Sucking-Leech-Demons-of-Satan-Hoard.

I am amazed at their strategy for harvesting life juice from unsuspecting students. They use superior techniques such as guilt and peer pressure to cajole you into sitting in their sadistic makeshift bloodsucking chairs.

They also create a gauntlet of some sort to funnel all the people into their blood sucking scheme/machine. I tried to illustrate their setup in in the picture above. Essentially, they MAKE you walk through their gauntlet if you want to get across the lounge/open area. I wanted to get to the cafeteria to buy some food but the only way i could get there was to run through this trap.
While walking through the gauntlet, they throw everything at you: guilt, peer pressure, sweet talk, threats, etc. I keep my eyes on the prize though. I look straight at the entrance to the cafetorium, speed walk toward the goal, and never look back. Of course, when you want to leave, you have to go through it AGAIN so you have to keep your guard up constantly.

In any case, I survived the guantlet today. But since they're here all week, it's going to be a tough fight.

Now, I understand the need for blood. In fact, our national blood supply is dangerously low. We can't stockpile blood so we need to constantly ask for donations. If you would like to help, please visit the RED CROSS website to find out what you can do to save lives.

God bless.

Crazy shit :Orcas

I just saw video footage of two Killer Whales working together to catch a seal that was floating on a piece of glacier.

One orca would create a wave that pushes one side of the glacier upward. That causes the seal to slide off the other side. The second orca would be waiting on that other side to grab the seal.

Fucking amazing.

Scientists are saying that the orcas may be passing on these techniques to the offspring. They have observed this behavior 30 years ago and the tradition seems to be continuing.

However, if that wasn't enough, the more impressive behavior was that the video footage showed a successful capture of the seal by the second orca but then minutes later, the orca freed the seal and put it back on the glacier. Apparently, the maneuvre was merely a training exercise for them. I guess the orca was trying to teach their kids how to hunt through "catch and release program".

Simply amazing.

Stupid Girls: Is it Smart to Be Dumb?

When I woke up this morning, one of the headlines on NBC dealt with the "dumbening" of girls in the new age. Someone (probably a feminazi) was concerned that girls of the new generation are looking up to the wrong people. According to the report, young teenage girls are looking up to people like Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, Nichole Richie, Lindsey Lohan, and the like. Apparently, young girls are looking to become spoiled, rich, stupid, and easy. They are not looking up to Sarah McSmartsmart, the nuclear physicist at JPL that is setting the hearts and minds of the geeks afire.

I don't know what the big deal is all about. I have always supported keeping kids out of school and in fast food joints. I am not a supporter of "investment in kids" program and I believe strongly that keeping the next generation of teenagers stupid is the best thing for everyone, especially me.

Contrary to this paranoid report by the femnaz (Copyright 2006), I believe kids are getting smarter, especially the girls with big chips on their shoulders. There have been many published reports in many sociology journals, as well as unpublished reports circulating among graduate schools of various professions pointing to a rise of extremely impressive applications by women to higher education programs. In fact, it has been quietly said by various deans of various institutions that if they were to admit students solely on merit alone, 80% of their incoming class would consist of females. Men, therefore, are admited in the gender version of affirmative action.

This is shocking. First of all, when did the guys get so stupid? And second of all, with all these girls in graduate schools, who's going to do my laundry and cook my dinner?

The Southern Baptist leadership has said time and time again that women's place is in the home. They are supposed to raise the children, cook for the man, and clean for the family. I have no idea why these girls think that they can run around getting doctorates and such. As a uber-conservative, I think it's time for the "great experiment" of allowing women in the work place to end and put our values back into the home where they belong. Can I get a hallelujah/amen?

In any case, I think we have nothing to worry about. The are PLENTY of ambitious smart girls in this world. I think the whole Paris Hilton/Whore/Slut thing is a way society deals with the tilting of the scale toward the smarter generations of women. In order to counter this great surge of smarter people, society is trying to tell us to slow the fuck down.

I am in support of MORE Paris Hiltons and LESS Barbara Wawas. Afterall, who is going to cook my fucking dinner?!?

Into the abyss

(This was an actual picture taken through my windshield during the storm)

I was driving back home from the city when a huge thunderstorm hit. It was midnight, cold, and wet. Added to that was fog that dropped the visibility on the road even further. Though the city roads are well lit, the roads to the 'burbs are often without highway lamps. To make things worse, the roads are painted with lane markings so pale, even Superman himself would not be able to distinguish the lines of demarcation.

I drove as cautiously as I could, but because my windshield wipers could not clear the pouring rain off my window fast enough, I might as well have been driving with my eyes closed. I did not want to panic, but I knew that my life was in danger. I decided that the best course of action was to follow another car...or rather, follow another car's rear lights.

Because the roads around here have similar sounding names or have similar numbers like Highway 9A-1, 9A-1S, or 9A, it's hard to keep track of which road is which, let alone distinguish the roads in pouring rain with almost zero visibility. It was thus inevitable that I would make a wrong turn. Sure enough, after driving a couple of miles, I found myself in unfamiliar territory. I could not even tell you when I went off course because 1) I was concentrating on keeping the car from slipping and 2) I was concentrating on following a car whose destination I did not know but was the only thing in this world that was keeping me on the road and not off the cliff into abyss of Satan's ravine.

I was driving about 30 miles per hour on the highway and after a few minutes, I knew I had to figure out where I was going, lest I'd end up in another god-forsaken boontown. I saw signs pointing to cities I have never heard of and other cities located in other states. There were no highway exits. I was trying to figure out who to call to help me out of this mess. I thought about calling the police, but I doubted they could help me unless I was killed in a horrible car accident. I was trying to figure out the number of AAA but there was no space on the road where I could stop, search for the number, and make the call.

I prayed to mighty Zeus for forgiveness, and I promised to sacrifice a lamb or at least a hobo when I got a chance if he would be gracious enough to show me the way home. Then, like a flash of lightning from Zeus' fingertips, an epiphany struck my brain. I decided to call my sister living half way across the country to give me directions. Thankfully she was home. With the help of google maps, highway signs, and dumb luck, I was able to get home after an hour and half driving around in the dark.

The moral of the story: Zeus is great, and google maps saved my life.

Addendum: Because I can't find any lamb around these parts, I may have to go with the hobo.