I am a moron

I have realized something.

I am a fucking moron.

I have very little time left on earth and yet I haven't experienced not even a percent of what humanity has to offer.

I am stuck in some dead end job that will, in the end, place me neatly into a stereotype-of-a-life. What a swell way to get off to a lousy start eh?

One thing I could do to alleviate part of my problem is to learn more languages. But since I'm a moron, it has been difficult. I wish to learn Japanese because I would like to read some of their crap. I would like to learn French because that's the other universal language. I would like to learn Chinese (both Cant and Mand) because it'll be easier to learn Japanese and Korean. And the fact that Mr. Bush has acknowledged China as an economic threat tells me i gotta adapt to a possible Chinese-dominated future. Besides, learning a language spoken by 1.5 billion people ain't too shabby. I would like to learn German because it sounds so cool. I would like to learn Russian because they also have "the bomb".

I also need to change my lifestyle. I sit around all day daydreaming about what it would be like to live under the sea. I need to focus on how to live here and now. My turkish roommate and friend used to have a screensaver on his 'puter that said, "Carpe Diem". I need to follow that advice.

Now if you'll excuse me...I'm going to go watch Master and Commander for the 20 time. I will re-live, in my mind, a life as a "left-tenant" on a British man-o-war in the 1800s.

Chingado...

MTV has finally destroyed TV

I was channel surfing when my TV ended up on MTV2.

I'll get right to the point.

MTV now has commercials DURING the show.

I must say again. They flash commercials DURING THE FUCKING SHOW!!!

First, they started with the stupid watermark in the corner of the screen. Then, I thought it was bad when they started flashing a large strip of advertisement RIGHT in the middle of the fucking screen telling me to watch some other shitty show during my program.

But now, these advertisements cover the ENTIRE screen. During this time, you miss what is going in the show you are trying to watch. The advertisement is not even translucent so you can sort of make out what's going on in the program you are trying to enjoy. It completely takes you out of the program and ends up pissing you off.

They don't care if they interrupt the program. This is the worst shit I have ever seen.

I was never an advocate of piracy. I don't pirate tv programs. I think MTV2 does this so that when people rip stuff, the watermark/ad can still be retained. Now I don't care anymore. Do that voodoo that you do so well.

Adventures in Garden State

I needed to visit good ol' state of New Jersey to purchase some goods.

The road to Jersey is a beautiful one. The highway cuts through a great forest and the view on both sides of the highway is incredible. It feels surreal driving alone during the day and I often open all my windows to breathe in the fresh air and become one with nature.

I feel like I'm experiencing a Walt Whitman poem in real life...without the homosexuality.

I'm enjoying the air flowing through my long brown hair when I happen to catch the speedometer.

100 mph.

SHIT! I start to look around and see that there are no cops or cars. Whew! I decide that I'll drive slower. I start to reduce my speed.

I wonder about the speed limit in this area when I finally see the speed limit sign in the distance.

45 mph.

I was driving 55 miles per hour over the speed limit. Granted, I was over the limit for only a short while but I was going WAY too fast. I reduce my speed to 55 and lock in the cruise control. I do NOT want to get a speeding ticket like Jeff and waste a day at some Godforsaken traffic school.

A few miles later, I see a hidden highway patrol police officer.

DOUBLE WHEW!!

He would have fucked me up for sho'.

A few miles later, I see two more cops.

Woah. They're ready to kick some ass.

Suddenly, I see another car rush past me at incredible speed. I think to myself, he's fucked.

Sure enough, the cops turns on the siren and a chase begins. I see the cars pull over after a couple of miles. BUSTED!!

~~to be continued~~