GHONIE

The Saga Continues

2010-03-28T19:26:00.001-07:00

I have neglected this blog again. I need to start writing again. I hope that this blog survives for many years because it has been a great way to chronicle my life. I look back at the crap I wrote and it's really amusing. It seems like my life is hard (it is).

It has been a loooooong 9 months. If I can sum up the last 9 months in one word, it would have to be.... "disappointing." Career-wise, I am where I am expected to be. It's neither fantastic nor terrible. It's a job that I go to every morning and I am tired by the day's end. I get paid every month and I'm thankful. Personal life though is pretty much non-existent while working. I go out from time to time but I feel like I'm not building the kind of friendships I am used to with the close friends I have now. It's like college all over again. I never really had friends wanting to go into this industry and now that i'm part of it, I still find the people …incompatible.

I am hoping for some excitement in life. I'm not sure how to achieve this. Actually, I don’t need excitement. I just need direction and goal. Perhaps I should start behaving differently? Should I do things I wouldn't normally do?

I have sent my passport to get it renewed. Perhaps when it comes back to me, I will take a trip. Perhaps, I will find something interesting in a foreign land. I don’t know. I’m pretty fucking tired right now.

I do like writing here though. It relieves a bit of the stress.

Chuck

2010-02-10T08:32:00.000-08:00

I caught an episode. And it was funny. Will attempt to watch all. The end.

It's Official

2010-02-03T17:08:00.000-08:00

I have lost my marbles. Lack of sleep is destroying me. The last two days have been horrible. I have slept in intermittent spurts and I have not had a chance to recuperate from the demanding work. I nap during the day to "catch up" but it further messes up my sleep schedule and it makes everything even worse.

I don't know what's happening

2010-02-02T14:45:00.000-08:00

My schedule:

Sleep 1 hour, then work for an hour, sleep 2 hours, work for an hour, sleep 30 minutes, work for an hour, sleep 2 hours, work for 3 hours. This was my night. Last month was a nightmare because I was working really really long hours weekly. I did a lot of overnights and it was very tough. Now I'm strictly nights. This fucks me up even more. I am like a zombie. I don't know what the hell i'm doing half the time. I worked this morning...and now I have to work again tonight. Night shift is a weird thing. I am consistently tired, which does not help my current emotional state which I think can best be described as dysthymic.

What can I do to break out of this funktastic streak? You tell me. I'm really stressed out. I'm studying and working, studying and working. This was my life for the last few decades and it seems to be continuing. I suppose I should be thankful but when you're tired as I am, you just don't care.

When will I get my break? When will it be my time? Help me superman!

Month of Hell

2010-02-01T16:36:00.000-08:00

I have made it through the month of hell. It has been a rough few weeks. It has been emotionally and physically draining. I don't know if I am a better person having gone through it.

Two weeks ago, I worked 96 hours. Sure, the week after I only worked 60 hours but it really kicks your ass because you have no days off.

This week, I'm night shift. That means more cold nights at work. I'm tired. I wish I could see the sun a little more. I wish I could just relax and have fun.

But even with time off, coordinating this fun time is difficult. As much as I enjoy doing shit alone, I would rather do things with friends. The problem is, most of my friends are working or doing other shit when I have time off. And when they do have time off, I'm in the depths of hell working.

Ah the joys of living life...

Fate

2010-01-17T05:20:00.000-08:00

Does believing in fate make you a more optimistic person?

I'm back

2010-01-14T21:52:00.001-08:00

I have not had cable or internet for about a week. It's good to get back online.

Working the weekend...again

2010-01-09T05:24:00.001-08:00

It's depressing to write this every other week. I hate working weekends. It's bad enough that my next day off is next saturday (and then i have to work again on Sunday) but I have to work overnight. I have so much work to do right now, it's ridiculous.

Fuck, my life sucks right now.

Funny

2010-01-07T19:30:00.000-08:00

Ripped off from Failblog

2010-01-07T01:07:00.000-08:00

This post is ripped off from failblog. I wanted to post it so I can read it again later.
I thought it was too funny.

“Note: Just to let you it is not that we don’t believe in things like that, it is just misleading when you talk about it being billions of years old, when we all know that the world is only about 6,000 years old. So why would I pay so that you can misslead my children, your world is just a revolving(?), ours has a start and an end. God created the world. He created animals and man all in the same week. It was also Adam who named all the animals, they will do the essay ‘Rock and Minerals’ but it might not be 5 pages long, and about billions of years, it will be according to the Bible.”

Sleepy

2010-01-06T16:51:00.000-08:00

I am back from a 30 hour work day. Last night, I got 5 min of sleep, then 5 min of sleep, then 15 min of sleep. This is not sleep.

What made it even worse was that I slept 2 hours the previous night.

I'm really hurting right now.

...working retail is a bitch.

Stress

2010-01-05T06:11:00.000-08:00

I'm super stressed. There are too many things to take care of and no time. I would have some hope right now if I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel. I can't see it. I wish I could see it. I don't even know where the tunnel is. As the responsibilities mount, so does the daily worrying. There must be a better way.

In the Year 2010

2010-01-03T20:41:00.000-08:00

Another year is here. Whee.

I'm not that enthusiastic. I don't know why.

There are a few movies worth mentioning.

Karate Kid - WTF? I want to see it because it looks absolutely stupid and i want to make fun of it. Prove me wrong Jackie Chan. Prove me wrong.

Iron Man 2 - It looks interesting.

Robin Hood - Crowe? Really?

Last Airbender - M Night has disappointed so much.

A-team - Sigh.

Prince of Persia - Visuals look great. Not a big fan of Jake but at least he looks the part.

Harry Potter - Yay.

Green Hornet - meh.

The Expendables - Must see.

Xmas this week

2009-12-21T07:57:00.000-08:00

I'm really sleepy. I haven't been able to sleep in the last 2 days for various reasons. I'm tired again. This really sucks because this month is supposed to be my "light" block. Next block is going to be hell again. I need a vacation. I need a real vacation where I become a vegetable and never leave the bed. That's what I want to do. I want to do nothing.

Scared about raising a child? Don't be.

2009-12-17T05:57:00.000-08:00

Are you about to have a child and you're wondering and worried whether you are up to the challenge of raising another lifeform? Don't be worried. I may have never met you but I can confidently say that you'll be fine.

I have seen and I have met people/kids that are dumber than a sack of rotting potatoes raise kids. Sure, the kids turn out dumber than a smaller sack of rotting potatoes but they live and grow and become burdens to society in no time.

Yesterday, I met a couple having their second child in 21 months. The woman/girl was 20 years old. The guy, about the same age, was sitting next to her without a care in the world. He didn't give a shit about anything. He cared not that the girl had serious heart problems. He cared not that they were below the poverty line because none of them worked. They were having kids because they had sex a bunch of times and now this thing was growing inside a belly. As soon as that belly is opened up with a knife a second time, I'm sure a third will be brought into the world. And then another. And another...

I asked him if they would consider using contraceptives in the future because the girl could die soon if they kept at this pace. The girl's heart was failing. In fact, she may die giving birth to this fetus (and the fetus would probably die too). They told me that they're Catholic and that they have morals about stuff like that and wouldn't consider it.

Awesome.

He said they'll raise kids "right" and "s'all good". Fucking fantastic.

See how simple it is? It is all good. These mature kids are having kids and having a good time. This optimistic story should strike any doubt from your heart when it comes to your ability to raise a child in this world. They're doing it and so can you.

Exploring the unknown

2009-12-16T18:58:00.001-08:00

I spend most of my day telling people what to do. I don't do it because I love controlling people. It's my job. Today, I told someone that they need to change their diet dramatically. In fact, I told them they need to cut out a big part of their diet. I told them to stop eating meat.

After this encounter, I thought to myself, "would I be able to do this?"

I don't have an answer. I don't know if I could become a vegetarian. I really love beef. I eat beef every other day. If i don't eat it, i get a headache and I crave it. Then I eat it. That is the cycle of my life.

So if someone told me that I could never eat meat, I don't know if I could survive. Perhaps there are manuals out there where it tells people how to wean themselves off of the sweet sweet deliciousness of burnt animal flesh.

Happy Xmas

2009-12-14T02:07:00.000-08:00

So who wants to come over to my house and celebrate? I don't fuck around.

Actually, we have a lot of family coming over and I do my best to make the gathering an enjoyable experience. One way of doing that is to eat and drink quality goods. Dom and Blue Label should suffice for this year. Sweeeeeeet

On another note, I have finished my Christmas shopping. I hope people enjoy their gifts.

UPDATE: Lest you think I'm Mr. Banks, let me make it clear. It is rare for my family to have so many relatives visit us during the holidays. As a special celebration, we are going all out. That is the reason for the extravaganza and the flowing of rare whiskeys.

Sorry Anonymous...

2009-12-14T00:40:00.000-08:00

...Somebody beat you to the punch.

Droid wha?, Google, Nexus yeah!

2009-12-13T10:24:00.000-08:00

I never understood the hype behind Droid by Motorola. It looked pretty ugly and the hardware was "meh" at best.

But now I'm excited.

Nexus 1 is coming soon and it's a phone designed by Google, made by HTC. Now THAT is something that interests me. Android has a lot of potential. I see a future where all of the google applications online (including google translate, google maps, google chat, google docs, etc) are integrated into the android and available 24/7 on the phone. Can you imagine being able to access translation tool on the fly integrated with google voice/google ap? Holy shit, now that is amazing.

The other awesome news is that unlike the Droid, the Nexus will apparently be sold by Google unlocked and have the ability to access both GSM 3g networks in the US.

Seriously. This is great news. This is the game changer that everyone has been waiting for.

If google does another one of those exclusive deal bull shit with a particular carrier however, I will be disappointed. But if the prelim plans that are leaked on the web are true, I may be sporting an android phone come end of next year.

And because this phone is GSM, the google phone can be sold all around the world at launch. Fucking amazing. I still don't think this phone will topple iphone's dominance but I think it will make Apple take notice finally. All of these other supposed "iphone killers" were absolutely retarded. Nothing can touch the Iphone right now. Even the haters know this deep inside. But with the Nexus, things may finally change.

Sleep

2009-12-12T18:58:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day in 6 months I have had the opportunity to sleep more than 8 hours. It was great. I woke up at 2 pm today.

I wish I could sleep in every day. It is a good feeling. Sure, most of the day is gone but who cares! You get to sleep.

I woke up and went to the local Starbucks. Even on this gloomy day, I ordered an ice coffee. But they messed up my coffee by putting sugar in it. Why must everything in this world try my patience?

Now I'm eating my Asian Seafood pancake. It's pretty tasty. I'm very happy that I get the weekend off. I feel like I'm on vacation.

Dickerdoodle

2009-12-11T19:25:00.000-08:00

2008 submissions Here

Penny Arcade is having their yearly Dickerdoodle contest. Take a look and submit your pics to them today!

I'm looking at you Anonymous. Go bake some of that Dickerdoodle. And they love the bucookie.

Futures

2009-12-11T07:31:00.000-08:00

The last few days have been hectic. I certainly did not plan them to be hectic but it turned out that way. Weird life lessons were learned and disappointments were experienced. I just wanted to start the holiday season.

I still have NO presents for any one. This is a problem. I was thinking about hiring someone to buy my gifts. But that would cost extra money.

Today is Friday and I plan to relax a little bit. Tomorrow morning, I'll be driving home (hopefully I can get through the snow/rain storm expected). I was going to drive tonight but it might be dangerous. I also didn't want to get stuck in the mountains in the middle of the night.

On a more positive note, I was able to get an extension for turning in my proof of donation to the state. Now I have until end of Jan. Huzzay.

confused 2

2009-12-08T22:25:00.001-08:00

I don't know what I thought I would get out of following in this path. I may have had some idealistic scenario worked out in my head when I started on this journey but I don't remember it anymore. Was there a happy ending? If so, where did the happiness come from?

Money? Prestige? Intellectual satisfaction? I just don't know.

I am thankful that I have the opportunity to experience what I'm experiencing. However, satisfaction is something totally different.

If you ask me right now, "Are you satisfied with your life?" I would answer, "no."

So how do I turn that "no" into a "yes"? Well, if you find an answer, please let me know.

And what is the deal with life being complicated?

confused

2009-12-08T08:11:00.000-08:00

I'm confused about life. I see people writing books about how one's should live life and how one should interact with others during our short stay on earth. There is no definitive answer which can be confusing and annoying.

It was easier earlier in life when people told you what to do. Now, I dictate the course of life...which is frustrating and confusing.

So far, I've been taking things day by day. It allows me to survive but my long term goals are still unclear. Where should I go? What should I do? I thought going into this profession would resolve some of those answers but it has not. (Surprise surprise).

Ugh, time to work. I will continue my thoughts tomorrow.

Rollin'

2009-12-07T07:21:00.000-08:00

Well, another work week starts.

I have been working everyday since Sunday of last week. I really really really need a day off.

Working 13 days in a row taxes the soul. You're probably saying, "But you have no soul."

Touché

Working that hard hurts my brain though.

It's christmas time and I should be happier. And I am happy because my 7 day vacation is coming up. I get christmas off!! AND new years!! I am really excited. I get to be home doing nothing on those days. I may even be able to watch some marathon. Hopefully, it will be lucy.

Done

2009-12-06T14:51:00.000-08:00

My hope for a quiet night went down the toilet when I realized stupid ass kids were drinking and O.D.ing on everything. They kept coming. I had to greet these assholes all night long.

It's the same ol' story. Some dumbass drank too much hard liquor in a short amount of time. The fucker passes out and almost dies.

I am exhausted. I have not slept in 36 hours. My eyes hurt. My whole body aches. I'm starving.

And guess what, I get to work again tomorrow.

FOOOOD!

2009-12-05T09:21:00.000-08:00

Chicken Fried Bacon. Wow. I want to try it.

So close

2009-12-04T21:41:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, I have to survive 24 hours of hell. ABSOLUTE HELL.

After that, I can begin to enjoy some of the holiday festivities. I hope I will survive without too much psychological damage.

I have eaten at a 3 star Michelin restaurant

2009-12-01T14:48:00.000-08:00

Daniel received 3 star Michelin for 2010 because of 2009 performance.

Therefore, I have eaten at a 3 star Michelin restaurant. Heh.

It was a fantastic experience and I hope I can return there some day.

Rule of Gifts

2009-12-01T07:47:00.000-08:00

Anonymous wrote that for xmas, I should give out money.

It's funny how gift cards are considered acceptable gift items but people avoid giving real money as a gift.

I will not be giving money for xmas. For my friends, I try to give them things that they probably wouldn't buy for themselves but they would get a kick out of it for a few minutes after they open the gift on xmas day.

I thought I had xmas gifts ready to go but plans fell through. So I'm back at the drawing board.

I'm running out of time. Maybe I should just give some pencils or something.

It was a better day

2009-11-30T18:38:00.000-08:00

It was a better day today. I was not yelled at and my customers were okay.

Man, it's hard being a personal shopper.

In other news, I am now at a loss with regards to xmas gifts. I don't roll around in diamonds like those scientists so my budget is pretty limited. What does everyone want this year?

Does anyone want this?

How about this?

Everything went wrong

2009-11-29T20:37:00.000-08:00

Today was a bad day.

Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong today. I don't know how or why it turned out this way but it happened.

Plus, the only thing i ate all day was one donut. I worked from 6 am to 6 pm having eaten only one donut at 5:40 am. I'm exhausted beyond comprehension.

I hoping for a better day tomorrow.

7 more days....

It's Sunday again

2009-11-29T06:12:00.000-08:00

I'm 8 days away from going to a schedule where I can wake up one hour later. I am 8 days away from having slightly less responsibility.

But before this nightmare ends, the last two days of this damn endeavor will be extremely painful. If it's just painful, I'll be happy. But if my shitty luck holds, it will probably psychologically horrifying too.

GAH!

Oh well. Happy Sunday to everyone else.

H1N1 and why dumb people are saving lives

2009-11-28T18:00:00.000-08:00

There is a lot of talk about H1N1. Actually, there was a lot of talk.

The vaccine issue and whether or not people should get the damn thing is confusing some people.

I heard some nurses the other day saying that they do not want to get it. But of course, they got the seasonal flu. This Boggles and Yahtzees the mind because it's basically the same fucking thing. If the h1n1 was developed in time, they would have integrated it into the seasonal flu shot anyway.

In any case, I'm happy that people are refusing or declining the shot. That means that my family and I can get the shot since more will be available. If people who didn't get the shot and go into respiratory failure and die, sucks to be you.

I have decided that I will no longer aggressively endorse vaccines. I am not in the business of saving people's lives. I'm in the business of saving my peoples. So sucks to everyone else's assmar.

Internetz

2009-11-28T09:31:00.000-08:00

I am still mourning the loss of a big part of the internetz a few days ago.

Sigh...

If you don't know what I'm talking about, it doesn't affect you.

I'm headed to work

2009-11-26T04:36:00.000-08:00

But before I go, I need to write the quote of the week.

"You look like a sad clown hooker"

Beautiful.

Guess what

2009-11-25T18:26:00.000-08:00

Guess what time I have to start work tomorrow?

5 am.

Rock on.

No thanksgiving for me. :(

Mythbusters

2009-11-24T18:31:00.000-08:00

I'm glad the Mythbusters were at the White House. It was also nice of Obama to acknowledge them.

Food Culture

2009-11-24T01:05:00.000-08:00

Recently, I came across an interesting article regarding one southeast asian people's take on another southeast asian dish.

"Food is the biggest problem for the Chinese tourists, who usually complain that Korean food is not fatty enough for them. "

I found this interesting. I have never heard anyone complain that their food is NOT fatty. I have heard people complain about a particular food being too fatty, too spicy, too salty, etc but never this...

Gobble Gobble

2009-11-23T08:47:00.000-08:00

I used to love Thanksgiving. It was one of my favorite Holidays. However, in the last few years, I have not been able to celebrate with family.

I am either working that day or flying somewhere. Last year, I spent Thanksgiving at the airport and in the air. This year, I will be at work.

So once again, I will miss Thanksgiving. I envy those of you who will be eating Thanksgiving turkey or steak with your respective families. I wish I could be home that day, watching the parade and eating food all day. Sigh....

I look forward to the day when I can take back Thanksgiving again.

Horoscopes are bogus

2009-11-22T19:23:00.000-08:00

Look at my horoscope for the day:

You're having too much fun to believe your luck! It's one of those days when you can tell that you're in the middle of something pretty big, but others might not yet share your trust in fate.

WTF.

Muzak

2009-11-22T18:25:00.001-08:00

Music I'm listening to right now:

HERE

Hell On Earth

2009-11-22T17:33:00.000-08:00

I'm walking through hell right now.

I'm hoping this nightmare will end soon.

Glee: Brad

2009-11-19T10:00:00.000-08:00

So they finally acknowledged the piano player in the show. Brad is apparently his name. They still haven't explained what the hell he's doing there. My theory is that he is a pervert.

Look at him checking out Rachel. Creeeeeeepy.

SRRRREEEEP

2009-11-17T19:10:00.000-08:00

I couldn't sleep last night. I woke up a 2 am, tossed and turned till 5 am when I got up and went to work. Ugh. I feel terrible. I have a stuffy nose and I am officially sick.

I hope I survive the week.

Models

2009-11-16T01:23:00.000-08:00

These people must spend hours getting ready to go out.

Congratulations

2009-11-15T06:11:00.001-08:00

Congratulations to the President of the Philippines for winning the fight yesterday over Cotto. It was glorious. I hope he knows something about politics...he graduated from Harvard right?

I'm sick

2009-11-14T19:11:00.000-08:00

I have some kind of sickness. Sadly, I can't call in sick tomorrow. I gotta work.

Sucks.

4 Random Encounters of the Day

2009-11-14T11:43:00.001-08:00

1) I went to the grocery store and at the checkout, the cashier asked me if i wanted the complimentary carry-out service, which involves some teenager bringing your groceries to your car and load it for you. Do I look that old? Do I look weak and helpless? I was insulted.

2) I just saw a limo pull up to Mimi's Cafe. Do you really need to take a limo to Mimi's Cafe?

3) One of the major intersections near my house is becoming pan-handling mecca. Today, I saw a total of 20 people pan-handling. This is not a hyperbole. TWENTY PEOPLE.

4) I was trying to drive through a parking lot but my progress was impeded by two inconsiderate zaftig women. The two women side by side filled up about half the width of the road. They were headed toward McDonalds. They shouldn't go into McDonalds.

Mysterious Stranger

2009-11-14T07:32:00.000-08:00

Who is the piano player? They never explained that "character" in the show. He just shows up to play the piano and then mysteriously disappears. Is he a teacher? Is he Mr. Schu's secret boyfriend? Is he Jazz Club's teacher? Who is this guy? And it's strange that he's available anytime anyone wants to perform... Is he some strange guy living in the basement of the school? Is he the Phantom?

Grace

2009-11-13T19:22:00.000-08:00

I have many bosses. There is one particular boss who is liked by everyone because he's a really decent and nice guy. He is courteous to everyone and extremely professional.

I found out today that this guy is actually a girl.

I kept referring to him to my other mid level bosses and they were confused. They never knew the person I was referring to. After some time, another person said, "dude, he's a she!"

Now, after speaking with some people, I found that I'm not the only person who thought this lady was a guy. Everyone that met her for the first time thought she was a guy. She is a bit zaftig and I just thought that he/she had gynecomastia. The voice is "neutral" in the sense that you couldn't tell on the phone whether it was a man or a woman. Her hair cut is short and manly. Everything suggested that this woman was a man.

Today, I was reminded of the adage, "Don't judge a book by it's cover." Actually, I would say that don't assume a person is a particular gender until you check the chromosome.

Excitement.

2009-11-13T18:28:00.000-08:00

I get the day off tomorrow. Sure I have to work Sunday and it's going to suck harder than a Dyson Vacuum cleaner but whatever.

Tomorrow I get to sleep in, which means I don't have to wake up at 5am!!

WOOOOO!!!

Wheel Chair Glee

2009-11-12T20:28:00.000-08:00

So I watched the new episode of Glee and I thought it was pretty good.

I liked it because the wheelchair kid is kind of a dick with a chip on his shoulder. I liked it because he defies the Hollywood-stereotypical handicapable archetype aka unrealistic idealistic saint in a chair.

I'm glad that Artie ditched the azn girl.

Oh and I thought that Rachel won that diva off. Even if Kurt sang perfectly at the end, he still can't match the powerhouse that is the Rachel character. Damn she's good.

The next episode looks good too. I hope they start singing other musicals.

Preggers

2009-11-12T20:25:00.000-08:00

I just talked to someone who was pregnant 21 times and gave birth 11 times.

What----the---fuck....

Seriously, is this necessary?

Mystery!

2009-11-11T18:51:00.000-08:00

I am intrigued by a mystery.

Someone took a bloody shit in the bathroom at work.

It was gross. I was going to post a picture of it but it's so gross, I couldn't do it. (Plus, I'm eating right now and I don't want to look at it again). I'll just describe it.

Picture in your mind's eye a toilet covered in red, viscous fluid. Some of it is dripping off the seat, little by little, bit by bit. Imagine a white tile wall befouled by dookey patches and blood. Imagine me fighting off nausea as I turn around and run out the door.

Who could have done such a thing?

It takes a lot of effort to get shit on the fucking wall. I can't imagine how you can do it. Do you just shoot your shit while standing? If you know, let me know.

In any case, in my unprofessional opinion, I think this person needs help. There is some kind of lower GI bleed going on that may be more than just hemorrhoids. Bright red blood per rectum can be a bad sign.

The question is, who is bleeding from the ass? I looked around my workplace to see who it could be. But everyone looks innocent. Who took a bloody shit? WHO???!?!

Sesame Street

2009-11-10T21:40:00.000-08:00

HERE

Interesting list of Sesame Street controversies.

Surviving

2009-11-10T21:21:00.000-08:00

I survived without getting totally killed. But tomorrow is another day of...work. So let's break this shit down.

I woke up Monday at 7 am. Started work at 4:30 pm and worked till 5:00 pm today. And I start work tomorrow at 6:00 am.

You're probably wondering, "are you a fisherman?" No I'm not.

Like I said, being a sales associate is tough work.

Ruining the fucking day

2009-11-09T14:18:00.000-08:00

It sucks when work starts at 5:00 pm. What the hell. All day, you are preparing for work. And then you work the graveyard until the next afternoon. It seems terribly wrong somehow but I have to do it. I have to get through this bullshit of a lifestyle. Oh well, I guess it could be worse.

I think I would be happy if I knew when my next FULL day off is. I don't even know. Goddamn this schedule is too hard to comprehend. I'm pissed.

Tomorrow morning, you may not see a post from me. The reason being I'm probably working in the wee hours until the afternoon. I hope to be back in my $100 bed tomorrow night. Please, let this be somewhat painless! Pray to the gods for me.

Fats

2009-11-09T08:25:00.000-08:00

I hate it when people give you margarine although you asked for butter.

It's another one of my pet peeves. They are NOT the same thing people!

First of all, they taste differently.

And second...well, do I even need to go on? They don't taste the same!

I always have to ask, "Can I have butter not margarine?" Only then will I get the appropriate condiment for my buttermilk biscuits. The chemical make up is different. My body reacts differently to these materials.

Perhaps I'm stuttering? But these two words do not sound remotely the same! Do I have a thick accent that I am not aware of? I ask my culinary friend, are they the same? Can you substitute one for the other easily during gourmet cookoffs?

Why do they torture me so! Give me my BUTTER!

Glee OST: Addendum

2009-11-07T15:40:00.000-08:00

My favorite tracks so far:

Don't Stop Believin'

Take A Bow

No Air

Keep Holding On

Defying Gravity

Halo & Walking on Sunshine

It's My Life & Confessions

Friday Mashup

2009-11-06T00:01:00.000-08:00

I hate it when they give you a ton of work on Friday. To the people giving out work, do YOU want extra work on Friday? Fuck you assholes!!!!!

In any case, I just thought I would mention something again. I think I posted it before but here is a rant:

Right turn has the right of way if the person making the U turn is attempting to turn without a protected left signal. So FUCK YOU to the guy who tried to cut me off. Fucking retards.

These cocksuckers need to get a ticket. Why do I get a ticket? I don't deserve one. I'm trying to help society. But these assholes don't deserve it. Yeah, that's right.

Changing subjects.

Why does Sony suck so much these days? PSPGo was launched in NA a month ago and in Japan recently and news ain't so good. The machine just sucks. It restricts players even more and it's more expensive. WTF? Haven't they learned from the Atrac3 debacle? Why do they continue to make Jesus cry? Does Sony make any good products any more? I mean, their music players are a joke now, the TV's are mediocre and not so amazing for the price, the computers are no better than the competition and their phones suck ass.

I wrote a more extensive rant a year ago (that's right) but I never posted it. It was after I visited the Sony tour in Manhattan. Maybe when I finish that, I can post it someday. But in short, Sony is mediocre at best these days and is not getting any better. Everyone buys Ipods, Samsung pwns tvs, good computers are made by several companies and iphone is king.

I write about Sony because I used to be a Sony whore. I'll admit it. I was the equivalent to MacFags of today except I loved Sony products (which is better than being a MacFag IMO). They made quality products that were innovative. Now....they're just...blah. I own a Sony TV lcd and I only bought it because I couldn't afford the Samsung equivalent. You believe that shit? 10 years ago, I wouldn't touch Samsung with a 10 foot pole. Now, Samsung TVs are premium brand and shit.

Long story short: Sony, you suck.

Glee OST: Review

2009-11-05T00:05:00.000-08:00

It's good. I don't know why. These are all remixes but most of the songs on the list are pretty good.

I am not ashamed to say that it's the CD of choice in my car right now.

But here's what sucks dick. I hate it when these supposed collections leave out a huge list of musical numbers in the show worthy of CD treatment. When am I going to get the rest? Will I even hear the rest? All I could say is, BOOOOOOOO. Give me perfection!

I hope that "Volume 1" doesn't mean this is it for Season 1. I'm hoping "Volume 2" will make up the rest instead of Volume 2 being music from only Season 2, etc. Just give us the full compliation assholes! There are approx 16 other numbers that are missing!

Child Abuse

2009-11-04T11:10:00.000-08:00

http://uk.reuters.com/news/video?videoId=113581

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33425758/

These fucking morons.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find someone with dermatographia so I can write Bible verses. It would be a counter-miracle.

I think I'll be seeing a lot of people in hell when I die. These parents are going straight to the hot place.

V: The review

2009-11-04T00:11:00.000-08:00

I watched the new V and I give the pilot a 7 out of 10. It was decent, but most of the "big reveals" have been done before and they're nothing new.

The other reason why I gave it a mediocre score is because none of my "list" suggestions were in the pilot. There is, of course, potential to see them in the future but for now, they had nothing.

1. No sparkles...yet
2. No nude body suits...although i imagine Lisa will get as naked as possible without breaking censorship laws.
3. Michael Ironside is nowhere to be found
4. No alien weapons yet.
5. No alien baby coming out of cooch
6. No mexican guy whose father fought with Zapata.
7. No medical students
8. No grandma
9. No paprika
10. Anna didn't eat anything....yet
11. No SHADES!!

I thought out of the entire list, we were going to see some crazy shades but alas, nothing. Oh well, there is always next episode.

I think the show needs a true badass. Morris Chestnut is okay but every time I see him on screen, I'm reminded of Under Siege 2. And Scott Wolf is too boy bandish. We need a tough as nails badass that is feared by the Visitors.

Growth

2009-11-03T14:10:00.000-08:00

This blog has served as a means to vent, rant and rave without getting me fired, killed, lynched in real life. Historically, this blog had maybe two or three readers at most. Back in the day before my long hiatus (which I may talk about in a future post), I had about 4-5 readers. 4 of them were friends, the one reader from Indonesia was an unknown.

I only made this blog public because I wanted to rant and rave to friends that were very far away. It allowed me to write at any time of day and it allowed my friends to read it whenever they had time. I could call them and talk about this stuff but that would mean figuring out when to call, etc which is an annoyance i didn't and don't need. Google blogger was simple and effective and can be accessed without hassle. All I have to is write. I didn't have to manage.

Now that I have been writing again more frequently, I noticed a returning visitor. The tracking/spying devices do not give enough specifics to figure out who it may be. Honestly, I don't really care who it is. However, I have one question though. Why would you read this blog?

This blog isn't about anything. It serves no real purpose outside of my friend circle. So I wonder, why waste time here? I read my friend's blogs because I am interested in how they are doing. However, I don't randomly read strangers blogs daily unless they provide some sort of purpose like daily food recipes etc. So that's why I'm curious.

Or perhaps I'm out of touch with the modern age? Is voyeurism part of the cultural zeitgeist at large?

End of Days

2009-11-03T07:34:00.000-08:00

The end of the week marks the end of my "relaxed" ways, as I dive back into the trenches of ugly work. I am not looking forward to it and I'm feeling a bit blue.

I really don't enjoy what I'm doing right now because it's really tiring.

I realized I haven't found the happiness that would sustain me throughout my life. Perhaps I need to get married. Perhaps I need this or that. The problem with these supposed solutions is that they could backfire big time.

I don't need more responsibilities. I don't like responsibilities period. I don't know why I went into a profession with so many fucking responsibilities.

The people who give me "advice" about solutions for life (marriage, house, car, career, etc) never talk about money required to sustain those things.

Money is a weird thing. As you acquire more and more of it, you require more and more. This shouldn't be the case.

I was talking to my friend the other day about people surviving on $16,000 US dollars a year. They are below the poverty line but they get by. I make about twice that but I'm having trouble having any money left over by the end of the month.

Why is that? Well, it turns out my monthly bills come out to about 1500 dollars. I live in a modest unfurnished apt and I have a computer. I have to drive in cali so I have a Honda Fit. Food, gas, and loan payments suck out the rest.

I don't know how others do it. I don't know how they get by and I can't. All of my colleagues are in similar situations and yet they can party all day and night. Next year, I may have to do what I was thinking about doing, which is to move back in with my parents.

I found that if I move back, I would be saving about $14,000 a year. I don't mind going home. I don't fight with my parents. I get free lodging and mooch off the food. With the money saved, I could start paying off more of my student loans. At this point, I see no other option. I need to take any and every advantage I could find.

So come July of next year, I'll be living with parents and throwing parties every other night. Rock on.

Why am I never asked?

2009-11-02T14:33:00.001-08:00

As I looked into this new "V" series, I found that the producer/production team asked a bunch of people about the memorable moments of the original V so that they can incorporate some of them into the series.

They made a crucial mistake in not asking me. I don't know how long the series will run but there is still time to incorporate my list.

Here is my list of memorable V moments:

Why the fuck is she sparkling?

1. Sparkling Deus Ex Machina Doomsday ending (totally crazy ridiculous but it's the easiest ending they could find)

Semi nude body suits

2. Semi nude body suits that everyone got when they were frozen for food processing. It was the closest thing to nudity on prime time in that era so it was huge.

3. Michael Ironside. He is the badass. I personally think that he could return.

The over the shoulder firing pose = Classic V action pose

4. The holding the shoulder while firing the laser pistol pose that every alien AND Marc Singer did in the series.

5. The reptile baby crawling out of the human teen slut's cooch

6. The mexican dude eating a raw onion.

7. The medical students licking the boots of the traitor

8. The grandma who is too much of a diva for her own good

9. Paprika of death

Seriously, you have to watch this video.

10. Diana eating live hamsters, mice, birds, etc.

11. Awesome shades.

V

2009-11-02T01:11:00.000-08:00

I'm curious about the new "V". From the trailers, it looks like they are going to take over earth with sexiness as their weapon. And we know where sexiness leads to...interspecies breeding.

The alien baby will come out of the womb and stick the nasty ass tongue out like in the original series. And the vag juices will be green. Gross. And I thought human births were nasty.

The weapons of the original V were really cool...especially the pistols.

I don't count the "second season" because I really think the series ended with "The Final Battle" along with the biggest deus ex machina in TV history. A halfbreed girl uses sparkle power to stop the doomsday device? Oh come now...

Happy Xoliday

2009-11-01T12:31:00.002-08:00

Now that Halloween is over, we can focus on the real holiday. Sol Invictus' holiday is coming soon in December and the mad rush to give gifts to people we don't really know will begin. (Seriously, is he/she really your friend? Why do you think buying gifts for people is hard work? It's because we don't really know anyone.)

I went to a wedding several years ago I thought someone gave a perfect gift. I hope that I too may be able to give such a thoughtful gift someday.

That gift was a gift of prayer.

It's so simple yet worth a trillion dollars more than whatever you were going to purchase for this holiday of the Sun. Alas, because I follow the pagan ways, prayer as a gift option is out of the question.

However, I can do the next best thing. I can make a donation to a worthy charity in your name!

I don't know why I didn't think of this before. Do you really need me to give you a Nespresso Machine for your home? Or would you rather have me help a noble cause in your name?

What's that? Oh, you want me to give the donation in your name? Okay, that's what I'll do.

I am sending a generous contribution of $410 to the State of California and the California Highway Patrol. As you know, the state is in financial crisis and is close to bankruptcy. All socialist programs like public schools, fire dept, police, subsidized higher education, etc are in danger of shutting down permanently. I don't want to see that happen so I will contribute a chunk of my salary to help all of those people.

Done and Done!

Hallow!

2009-10-30T09:13:00.000-07:00

How is everyone? Halloween is here but it means very little to me now. I get the day off tomorrow and I'll probably just sit around but I won't be searching for candy or brownie bricks this year.

I woke up this morning to this. This is one of the local channel news and they all dressed up as some sort of hick variant. One guy in the back though had a cool costume. He dressed up like Cobra Commander from the Cartoon series. I wish I could have taken a picture of THAT but they only showed him for a few seconds before they went back to this crap.

Anyway, I was going to write about some dream I had but I forgot it. I don't know if it was about a buffet or something shiny...sadly, these two descriptions are the only things I remember.

If i remember what happened, i'll post it.

Making a Donation

2009-10-29T01:01:00.000-07:00

I have a huge debt. I'm drowning in it. In fact, I have drowned.

However, I decided today that I should contribute to the state fund by making a forced contribution to the local authorities in the sum of $410. That's right. $410.

Why so much you ask? The amount is as big as my figurative heart...or rather I should say the amount is as high as the speedometer reading on my car.

Happy Christmas to the state.

Oh, after paying my donation, I now have $30 in my bank account. Huzzay.

I guess I have to postpone my trip to French Laundry.

The Lady on the Freeway Overpass

2009-10-28T01:24:00.000-07:00

Every morning on my way to work, I see an African-American female in her 50s waving to cars passing under her on the bridge going across the freeway. She is there everyday and I believe she spends hours standing there on the fence waving to every car she sees. She has a push cart of some kind, and I don't really know if she has it because she's homeless, if it's because she cannot walk or if she's coming back from the grocery store.

She is smiling the entire time and she looks directly at the driver of every car that comes near. I don't know how well she could see the fast moving individuals from the bridge where she stands but I imagine during traffic congestion, she can see the responses on people's faces.

I always find her behavior uplifting. I don't know why. She seems so happy. In fact, she looks ecstatically happy. Sure it seems like odd behavior and there is a high probability that psychosis of some kind is involved here but nevertheless, I think she brings some smiles to people's faces because she seems so damn happy...and that's infective.

I tried to take a picture of her but it never comes out right. My iphone camera is terrible. Perhaps I should just refrain from posting it anyway.

Chef

2009-10-27T09:12:00.000-07:00

My friend is an aspiring chef. On his food blog, he posts many of his accomplishments. One post dealt with making a Genoise. I too wanted to try my hand at making one. Here is the result.

Mine came out like a pancake. Perhaps it's because I used Aunt Jemima pancake mix and followed the pancake recipe but I was hoping for a miracle.

I just wanted to post my breakfast, that's all.

Waffles

2009-10-27T01:58:00.000-07:00

I want to eat some waffles. My previous workplace had a waffle machine but I never had a chance to really use it because I had very little time.

I want to buy the Waring Pro 300/330 from Costco. I purchased one for a friend for Xmas but the reviews are saying that it can short out. Of course, the fix is relatively inexpensive and quick (swap out the fuse) but I worry about the quality.

I've used this machine at work though, and it makes fantastic waffles. So I don't know if I should spend the 60 bucks for it knowing that I will have to swap out the fuse in a few months...

Btw, the other ones are sucky.

So many choices.

Writing

2009-10-26T01:44:00.000-07:00

During the course of a day, I think about a shit load of stuff I want to write about.

Unfortunately, by the end of the day, I'm too tired to care and I forget most of the shit.

So, I decided to post this since I found these two music videos that were amusing.

This one is a group called Norazo. This song is titled Superman. It's english subbed.

This one is about Mackerel. Unfortunately, it's not subbed. I don't really know the exact translation of the lyrics but they are basically praising the mackerel. I just like the dancing.

Apparently, this group wanted to stand out/apart from all of the boy and girl bands in the industry singing pop/r&b. They apparently wanted to write a funny song about some random shit and this is what they came out with.

I like the Mackerel song. They talk about the round eyeballs, they call the fish beautiful, they talk about the hot sun of the pacific ocean, and the wide blue ocean. What more do you want in a song? If you find the translated lyrics to this in english, let me know.

Improv Everywhere strikes again.

2009-10-25T22:22:00.000-07:00

Accidents!

2009-10-24T11:26:00.000-07:00

I hate car accidents on the highway/freeway. I hate them because of the rubbernecking retards that are on the road. What is so interesting? Are you looking for dead people? What the hell is wrong with you???

People start braking when they pass these accidents even though there are absolutely no hazards in their path. The accident may be WAAAAY off the road but it doesn't matter because these assholes step on the brake to see what's going on. There should be a fucking law against this. If you do it, you should be shot on sight. That way, in order to AVOID the gunshot, people would ignore these accidents and drive on.

Why am I ranting today? Well, it's because it took me 5.5 hours to get home because of 5 accidents. The roads were clear but these assholes had to look. What happened you ask? I don't know. I don't RUBBERNECK.

Not-Enough-In-N-Out

2009-10-23T01:31:00.000-07:00

We have several In-N-Outs in the area but the demand far exceeds supply in this town. I feel like EVERYONE eats in-n-out everyday. I don't deny they are tasty and I love the fries too but I don't go there everyday, sheesh....I just go every other day.

Yesterday, the In-N-Out drive thru line was so long and filled with so many cars, I thought I was seeing a traffic jam on an LA freeway. There had to be at least 100 cars lined up. That is no hyperbole. It was never ending. The parking lot that the In-N-Out is located in serves as parking spaces for the mall. Fuck the mall. The entire place should be In-N-Out only parking. There were three In-N-Out employees outside in the parking lot taking orders. It was the only way they could keep things civil. People were shouting and yelling at each other saying that they were first. When the employees took the order, you had to stay in that order lest your food get mixed with the asshole you were fighting with.

You may ask, why didn't you go to another In-N-Out? Well, they're all this way in this town. Dinner time = In-N-Out time. You may then ask, "why not try another establishment?". I would answer, no. When I have my heart set on something, I have to have it.

So anyway, it took an hour to get my food. Was it worth it? Yeah it was.

BTW, I don't undertstand the criticism dished out by those who do not enjoy In-N-Out fries. What more do you want? These things are basically potatoes that are cut fresh and then fried. That's it. They don't put any other shit in there. What more can you want? Perhaps people enjoy the frozen flavor of other fries at other restaurants?

Nails

2009-10-22T00:31:00.000-07:00

"Are you going to the prom?"

This is what people need to ask you when you are preparing yourself to
go to the doctor's office. If you are going to ask the doctor to look
at, say your hand for example, you should wash said hand and not have
crap all over it.

I was waiting at the doctor's office when one of the patients started
talking to me. He apparently had some problem with itchy hands. I
looked at the hands and I thought, "I know what's wrong". This guy's
hands are dirty and dry. Maybe he should wash, moisturize and repeat.
I'm no doctor but I thought those things wouldn't hurt him.

His fingernails were long, dirty, gross and nasty. What the fuck? (Say it like Joey Lauren Adams character in Mallrats)

That brings me to my point. What the fuck is the deal with long ass dirty nails? Why the hell can't you cut your nails? I never understood this. I have seen people with long ass fucking finger and toe nails with BLACK crap under it. And they're complaining about shit going wrong with them??? CUT THE NAILS assholes!!

And get this shit. People want referrals to podiatry so that they can get their toenails trimmed. Seriously, is this where our health care dollars are going? We're cutting nails and shit for retards???!?!?

Suzanne Somers: We Love You!

2009-10-21T01:46:00.000-07:00

Suzanne Somers must be the most lovable retard on TV right now. She's selling her new ~~scam~~ book titled, "Knockout" and she's making people rethink the way we treat cancers.

But I am angry at her. I'm not mad because she's trying to sell stupid morons her retarded concoctions but because she stole my ideas for recipies to cure cancer. (I imagine the Nobel committee is preparing to award her with the prize in medicine next year as we speak). At the end of the post, I'll will post a killer..erm..i mean cure-ific recipe for fighting breast cancer.

I'm all for home remedies. If it keeps stupid fucking morons at home and out of our already crowded hospitals because they are trying this shit, I fully support it. But please, if you're going to go with the so called natural path and your disease gets worse, DON'T come into the hospital during your last hours on Earth. We don't need to spend 1 million dollars trying to correct all of the natural crap you did to your body.

I've come to the conclusion that because our resources are so damn limited, keeping morons out of the hospital and sending them faster into the graves are the only options we have left. Is this heartless? Possibly. But my heart belongs to people with some sense, not the tools reading the garbage that the whore from three's company sells on tv. I'm also looking at you Oprah. If I see you getting Chemo, I'm going to call God and tell on you because you should go straight to hell.

Sure, suzanne somer's book recipes were never tested against conventional therapies that were developed over years of research but who cares? I mean, I had great ideas too while taking a shit and Suzanne Somers should have the right to kill as many people as she wants with the ideas she got during her cocaine binge. I wonder, what is the name of the clinical trial where she tested all of her theories? I ask because patients ask this all of the time about conventional therapies and yet when it comes to natural shit, no one cares. I think she and Kevin Trudeau should team up and write the ultimate book titled, "Ultimate: Cheating Death and Spitting in the Face of God".

I also think that Suzanne Somers should be personally liable for the methods in that book. If people die faster because of her cures, she should be ready to compensate them. In fact, I think every one of those retards with cure-all books should be liable. That way, we can save some paper and keep some of those crazy ass shit off the shelves.

Anyway, I'm sure everyone has been waiting for this. My breast cancer cure:

Ingredients needed:
5 Chicken breasts (It makes sense right?)
2 cups of Milk - specifically Lactaid (Must be whole milk with vitamin D)
1 cup Human breast milk (just ask a lady on the street breast feeding)
Antioxidants (Umm...just grab any vegetable at the Supermarket)
I 1 cup of Boba (means boob in chinese...clearly logical)
Dozen Hooters brand hot wings (hotter the better)
Single strand of Suzanne Somers' hair (pubic is preferable since pubes have hormones right?)
Enema tube

Mix these ingredients in a large bowel with 1 cup of Milk. Then blend. Then bake in oven for 25 hours at 200 degrees F. Then pour into a blender and mix with 1 cup of human breast milk and 1 cup of cow milk. When you get a nice thick sauce, place in enema tube and start squirting it into your anal hole. Within weeks, your ass should smell like...a worse smelling ass. At that point, you should be cured from breast cancer. I may reveal more secrets in future posts. But I'm writing most of them in my next book, "My recipes are better than Kevin and Suzanne's recipes".

Big breakfast vs Sausage biscuit with egg

2009-10-20T07:39:00.000-07:00

Sausage Buscuit with egg (coffee and hashbrowns not shown)

Does anyone know what the difference is between a McDonald's Big Breakfast combo and McDonald's Sausage Biscuit with Egg combo other than the price? Are they not the same components?

Big Breakfast (coffee not shown)

Am I paying extra for the fucking plate? Do I get something more??? I need to know!

Hey Chef, can you ask your culinary teacher about this? Is it just the size of the egg? The amount of egg they give you seems similar every time I've tried both.

I hate being ripped off.

Sandwiches...I don't like 'em

2009-10-20T01:28:00.001-07:00

Some people love sandwiches. I am not one of them.

I don't know why but I don't like sandwiches anymore. I don't like any kind of sandwich, even with meats or cuts I normally enjoy. Don't get me wrong, if a sandwich is presented to me, I'll eat it. However, I will not actively search to buy one for a meal.

I'm trying to figure out why I don't like them. Could it be that I ate so much of it during childhood I am sick of it? Or could it be that I had Subway sandwiches every other day during school that I no longer crave bread and meat?

I would rather eat tacos and burritos. I would rather just eat the meat by itself. I would rather eat a steak rather than a steak sandwich.

If on a menu, all other items are unappetizing, I would probably get a sandwich.

I reaffirmed my disdain for sandwiches yesterday when I purchased a pastrami sandwich.

It was blah.

Cougars! ROWR!!

2009-10-19T01:01:00.000-07:00

When I say the word "Cougar", what comes to YOUR mind?

Is it this?

Or, do you think of this?

Webster dictionary defines Cougar as: a large powerful tawny-brown cat (Felis concolor) formerly widespread in the Americas but now reduced in number or extinct in many areas —called also catamount, mountain lion, panther, puma.

*YAWN*

Websters is soooo 1985.

I really like Urban Dictionary's definition(s) of cougar, especially the most popular definition:

An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.

I would argue that more often than not, the milf or hottie comes to mind for most people when it comes to cougars and not the bloated horn-meister. And thanks to shows like Sex and the City, Demi Moore, Dr. Quinn in Wedding Crashers and reruns of Golden Girls, we reinforce that stereotype.

I will tell you, however, that outside of movies and Hollywood, cougars are anything but glamorous. The reality is that these cougar relationships can be really disturbing.

I had a run in with a cougar the other day. I will first quote a famous archeologist and say, "Nothing shocks me, I'm a scientist."

I will admit though, in this instance, I was close to being shocked.

I was interviewing two people who I thought were mother and son when I realized that this was not the case. The mother was in fact the girlfriend. When the woman said, "I noticed my boyfriend was acting weird and pushing me away in bed at night," I did a double take.

This woman was 58 years old. The guy was 31 years old. The woman did not look her age. In fact, she looked 68 years old. She looked tired, worn out, wrinkled and without botox. Her breasts had sagged with age and the sun damage to her skin was extensive. She had a ill-look about her. Her skin was rough, her face was scarred and her hair was somewhat disheveled. She had a 4th grade education and it was hard for her to comprehend things.

The guy was my customer but he never said a word. The woman did all of the talking. I listened to their/her story and realized what was happening.

Here is the summary:
1) The guy was faking an illness and he was mooching off this woman without her knowledge.
2) The woman treats this guy like the son she never had AND the lover she never had.
3) The guy is a fucking tool.
4) The guy was ripping off the government, obtaining SS for a disability that he did not have.
5) The woman has psych issues.
6) The guy is poor, the woman works but makes a salary that is below poverty line.

This is the story of this cougar and her buck. This is reality.

I was pretty annoyed by this encounter. Honestly, age shouldn't be a factor and I care not that the woman is much older than the guy. Who the fuck cares. If they love each other, then it doesn't matter.

The problem is, it was so fucking clear that the guy was taking advantage of this woman for her money. As minuscule of an amount that may be, the guy was using her so he doesn't have to work. He sits at home and plays video games all day. And before you say, "the guy probably gives her companionship and sex in return", I will say, he does not. He rarely puts out. Plus, he attributes his apathetic attitude toward the woman to the disease he doesn't have.

But I can't completely sympathize with this woman either. She is an enabler and she is so desperate for...well, human contact that she is willing to overlook everything. And she lost a few marbles in Neverland while flying around in her coked up state.

This encounter brought me back to reality. Hollywood cougars may prowl around in certain clubs in LA but the reality is that many more cougars in suburbia may be like the one I described here today. I met several more cougars after this encounter and most did not have the glamorous story everyone expects.

So what is the moral of the story?

Cougars are not all milf.

Lame

2009-10-16T01:59:00.000-07:00

Internet is not working at home. What the fuck is wrong with these people. All I ask in life is unlimited super fast internet that is on all the time. Why have I been forsaken?

You smell...that's right, I'm looking at YOU

2009-10-15T01:05:00.000-07:00

People stink. There is no denying it. Human beings are filthy flawed creatures. We are animals. There is no denying it.

Now you're thinking, "At Church on Sunday, everyone smells so nice and they look so good. You must be wrong."

I would respond by saying, "Shut the hell up stupid. You dunt know nuthin."

If you took those same people at the so called pristine church and ripped off their facade (ie their clothing), you would see some really gross nasty things. You will see weird moles, smelly skin lesions, infections, STDs, genital hoohaws, and stained dookey underwear.

If God created man in His image...well, I won't say any more than that. I'll instead just shake my head in disbelief. The body is imperfect and there are weird crap everywhere.

Again, you don't believe me? Get a mirror and look at your hairy bunghole at the end of your work day. Tell me you're not disgusted. Then carefully look at the tiny imperfections in your skin. Do you see it? Yeah you do. And then imagine all of the other crap that's wrong with you underneath all that inside your body. Uh oh, am I turning some people into body dysmorphos? Oh well. Whatevahz.

Why am I bringing this up? Well, I have to watch people all day long. That's what I do. That's my job. I find that although many people are tolerable, many others are really really unbelievably gross.

Yesterday, I saw a woman who is "one with nature". She had really really gross feet and crap stuck in between her toes. I was really grossed out by the fungal infection and the smell. Why can't they just take a bath one in awhile? I have to look at people's feet because at Sax, I occasionally have to sell shoes like Al Bundy.

And then today, I saw a 400lb woman with nothing but a thin wispy dress with no underwear waft into my store. Hmm...maybe waft isn't the right word. Maybe I should say, thundarred into the women's section. The weird thing about this woman is that when she sat down anywhere, she would keep her legs wide open for all to see. And sadly, I was privy to her privies. What I saw next was really weird. It was white. Completely white like white chalk. And she didn't have underwear so all of that crap was rubbing off the seats. Seriuosly, what the fuck?

So in conclusion, I stink, you stink, we all stink. Let's help each other by taking a shower once a day and cleaning the toes. That's it. Good day.

I need to write about cougars. I may write about it soon. I'm writing this here so I can remind myself to write about it. Don't read this section.

Turning Chinese

2009-10-14T06:30:00.000-07:00

So a friend decided to give up on Capitalism and try his Communist legs in Communist China.

He's moving there forever not for business but for personal reasons, which I think is a pretty good reason to go. Business is so boring. I don't think there is anything to lose in this endeavor except the pain in the ass moving process.

Now, I suggested that he enter his new muthaland with some style. I suggested that he put on a show or a parade to announce his grand arrival.

Remember the scene in Aladdin where he comes into town on an elephant or some shit? I picture that kind of scenario as my friend rides in to the small rural village of Wuhan where life is simple and a bowl of rice costs a ha'penny.

And as he rides through Wuhan, past the ol' communist Malt shop and past the dirt farms, the simple farmers of Wuhan will probably think, that guy must be important.

And when he enters his hostel, I think he should start his dance of seduction.

See exhibit A:

He can enter with that and everyone will be in awe. Not only that, I expect everyone to join in on the dance.

Hallmark (otherwise known as Fox News Channel)

2009-10-09T00:47:00.000-07:00

Did I take this picture? Yes. I did. It's my collection. I'm not ashamed. Lucy is an American icon.

I love I Love Lucy. So, I watch Hallmark channel from time to time. They do a marathon at night and I like to get my fill.

But one thing I realized is that Hallmark is a very VERY conservative channel. I suppose it makes sense since most of the shows are from the 1940s and 1950s and shit. Back then, they didn't have them gays mucking up the good ol' days right? In any case, I realized that every other commercial on this channel was from AARP or the republican party. Also, nostalgia seems to be the theme for every damn commercial. Most commercials also had a "Made in America" angle. For example, Florida Orange Juice commercial revealed that Minute Maid orange juice imported their juice from Brazil. They also ran a bunch of commercials against universal health care. Forget the United Methodist commercial I talked about yesterday. These commercials are the worst shit ever. They had some "doctor" actor talk about some crazy ass retarded shit about medicare, England and Canada. They really love to scare old people.

And speaking of old people, I saw a 90+ year old woman try to drive her benz today. She almost caused 10 accidents in a span of 20 seconds. She was trying to drive but it looked like she couldn't see. She was squinting her eyes, leaning forward and she made erratic stops because she couldn't see if the traffic light was red, yellow or green until it was too late. She would stop in the middle of the intersection because that was how far she would have to go before she could see what color it was. The car in front of me almost crashed into her and when we passed her, she almost swerved into our lane. Hmmm...in retrospect, I think I should have called the police...I hope she didn't kill anyone today.

Rethink Church...wha?!?!

2009-10-08T01:22:00.000-07:00

Are they serious?

What the fuck are we rethinking? Are they saying that Church has a reputation of lameness but it's really cool and hip? Is that what we're rethinking?

Newsflash: Church is NOT supposed to be cool and hip. You don't play at church. You worship and go home.

"What if church was a verb"

Ugh.

I saw a commercial for this new...I'm sorry...nouveau crusade and I was really embarrassed for them.

Okay, who are they trying to reach here? These ridiculous campaigns seem to preach to the choir. I use myself as a gauge (because I'm always right) to determine whether a particular campaign works or not and I must say, in my non-humble opinion, this one sucks. It's also disturbing to me. I feel like at any minute God is going to throw a lightning bolt at these people because this campaign is so cringe-worthy.

"Powered by the Holy Spirit, 'Rethink Church' serves as a catalyst that moves the denomination, and those we hope to reach, into dialogue -- and ultimately, into transformative, collaborative action."

What...the...fuck... What is this? It makes absolutely no sense. Are they saying that they recognize non-believers right to exist and that they will allow them to co-exist with the righteous believers as long as we work to better mankind? Or is this quote another way of saying that they intend to assimilate everyone Borg style into their collective to get stuff done (ie spread the gospel)?

If God was here, I think he would be angry...like Old Testament angry. Remember when God didn't like people deviating from his plans? He does not want people to hang out and play ball in his house of worship.

Granted, I think their intent is somewhat noble, since most of their community service events end with the aid of others but why do they have to taint their altruism with this stupid shit?

Oh yeah, and the stuff that they're trying to imply regarding the worship of YHWH is pure blasphemy. Even I know that the stuff they're trying to sell on TV is blasphemy. Playing ball? Having fun? Laughing about God?

No way.

If you're one of those people that feel that all the stuff that Presbies and Methos are doing is a proper evolution of the religion, I really think that I will see you tied up next to me in the afterlife.

Hey, I just had an epiphany. For the next campaign, they should release a hip-hop gangsta rap album that deals with the Holy Spirit trying to survive in the ethereal ghetto. Is that blasphemous enough for you?

Enough of my rambling rant.

I will make my recommendation. United Methodist, please, stop this ridiculous campaign. Instead of spending money on this crap, quietly help others in need.

And when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Hmm...where did I hear this?

"The Scribes and Pharisees were guilty of two great faults in prayer, vain-glory and vain repetitions"

Do it quietly and with some dignity ffs.

Okay, I was going to end right there but I have one more thing to say.

I have always had a problem with missionary work and spreading the gospel through "good deeds" that everyone talks about. Even as a kid at church and at church functions, I really felt dirty and guilty. I feel that these missions are deceptive. For example, organizations want to feed the homeless. That's fine. They want to relieve hunger. That's fine. They lure people who are hungry for food (NOT hungry for God) into their huts or hives or whatever and then when they're near, BAM!!!, they pull out the word of God and start their commercial. What up wit dat? And since these people who are eating the food are guilt-tripped into staying and listening, they have no choice but to nod their head and thank people for the food AND God. I hate product placement in movies and TV and I hate product placement in real life. I cannot be alone in feeling this. As a kid, I would see homeless people come to eat some food but while they are eating, these missionaries start shoving God's truth down these poor people's throats along with the turkey dinner. Unbelievable.

Prepare for warp...now punch it!

2009-10-07T23:24:00.000-07:00

My friend over at his blog wrote a "hype post" giving people a hint about what's to come. Well, I'll do one here too.

Tomorrow, there will be a rant. And it will involve religion. I have not written one in a long time so I figured I was due....

I drink too much coffee.

2009-10-07T18:02:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true. I'm an addict. I know it's a legal stimulant but...

It's out of control...but I can't stop it. Rather, I refuse to stop it.

I drink about 10 cups...check that, I'm lying...I drink about 15 cups a day.

Look at that! I talk like an addict. I don't know what to do. As I write this, I'm drinking a Venti iced coffee right now.

I never drank coffee during college. But then after I left, it became a habit. Now it's a necessity. I know it's bad for my stomach. I think I may be developing an ulcer. But I just can't stop.

HELP ME!

Embarasssing Health Confessions

2009-10-06T08:35:00.000-07:00

Here

These seem pretty tame to me.

Do people fart in your face? Well, do they?!?

2009-10-02T01:15:00.000-07:00

I must be in one of a handful of professions in the world where you must tolerate or even encourage flatulence. I will also argue that customers find it comfortable farting in my presence, even though I find smelly farts are not at the top of my favorite-things-in-the-world list and do not really want shit particles floating into my nose.

I was working with a customer the other day when I heard this woman fart. It was a loud fart and as far as I could smell at that point, a relatively unsmelly explosion. However, this woman did not apologize or say "excuse me" for farting. Instead, she just farted again...

and again....

and again.

Seriously, the person farted about 10 times (they were a combination of short rapid fire farts combined with some swooshing farts, finishing with a hadouken-style super fart of atomic proportions).

Street-Fighter-2-Hadouken sound bite 1 sound bites

And then it happened.

I was bending down to help examine her heel when suddenly she farted in my face. It was a moderate explosion but it was definitely smelly. I would describe the smell as a mixture of human feces, cat urine, and old sweaty socks. I felt like an invisible fart film covered my face (imagine a saran wrap covering your face except the saran wrap is much more farty and fucking gross).

She still did not exhibit any embarrassment. She just continued her business and kept farting.

It was really weird. I had no choice at this point but ask, "Having you been passing gas a lot lately?"

She replied, "Yeah, but it's alright. Farting makes me feel good."

...

Now, what the fuck are you supposed to say to that?

Actually, I didn't say anything because I was dry heaving the entire time. I finished my work as quickly as I could and escaped to my office. I developed a mild headache after the exposure and felt a bit dirty. I was contemplating going to the ER so I can give the ER docs a good laugh but I had more work to do. My next appointment was a fishy experience...but I'm worn out so I'll weave that tale at another time.

Nooooooooooodles

2009-10-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

NOOOOOODLES!

Duck, mooncakes, and now the noodles...

I don't know how to feel about this. I don't know if they tried to analyze the bacteria in the product after a few days on the shelf or if they tried to assess the shelf life of these things but we need more scientific data.

I'm surprised Martin Yan from Yan-can-cook-so-can-you fame is stepping up. He should assemble other AZN chefs like "East Meets West guy", Iron Chef Asia and Momofuku King. He can call them up a la M.A.S.K. style.

And yes, MASK is great.

Tomorrow, I will talk about farts. Seriously.

Teacher, I have a question.

2009-09-29T01:46:00.000-07:00

Can you be both "elegant" and "down-to-earth"? I always thought elegance describes a superfluous component. I need grammar police/english teacher input on this one.

Poisoned!

2009-09-28T07:36:00.000-07:00

I was poisoned the other day. Someone kept telling me to drink this vile liquid and I had no choice to agree. It was for the greater good. Remember that scene in Harry Potter 6 where Harry and Dumbledore are looking for the Horcrux in the cave? They had to keep drinking that water in the bowl so they could get the locket? Yeah, it was like that. But before you say I am like Dumbledore, I will say that I am like him in the sense that I am courageous. I am not like Dumbledore the gay dude who wears Velveteen. There, I stopped the gay jokes. I don't want to read anything in the comment section about that.

I think it was the Port that did it. That port was vile. It was gross because it was sweet. Also, the bone marrow butter didn't agree with me very well. I know it was supposed to be a delicacy and shit but the Chinese suck bone marrow for breakfast and oxtail is plentiful. Suck on that Europe.

This is not me...but I thought it was a funny picture

Good thing I didn't barf inside my friend's car. Actually, I think it would have been funny. I asked the next day whether or not I left any gifts in his car in the form of predigested and partially digested foodstuffs and he said there weren't any. I think I puked most of it in the parking lot of that Denny's. (Sorry Denny's employees about the mess in the parking lot. But that barf is worth 180 dollars...so it wasn't some shitty bar food that I left there at night for you guys.) But, I hope at least I left some of the putrid smell in the car. That way, it can remind him of the fun times in life.

In any case, I am sad that the weekend is over. I will say again Happy Birthday to the driver of that car since it's his birthday today. I wish we can do something today but sadly I'm at work listening to people's problems. Hopefully, the week will be somewhat painless and without too much drama so that this weekend, I can relax. I say, we should try to go to Red Robin. I feel like eating some of those fries...

Today is a day of reflection

2009-09-25T07:25:00.000-07:00

Today, I will think about what I have done in the my life and assess whether this is where I want to be.

If I had to give myself a grade today, I would give myself a "B". I don't think I have completely fucked up my life but at the same time, there is definitely room for improvement.

I wonder what my life will be from this point on. Is it going to be just more work day after day? Are there any surprises waiting for me? Will I die soon? I wish I can predict the future. I wish I had the perfect plan. However, I have to do what I can with what I have.

When I was younger, I never wanted to grow up. Other kids may have wanted to get older faster but not me. Some kids wanted to age so they can go to that rated-PG13 movie and then eventually Rated R. I was never in a hurry (Actually, I don't think the movie thing applied to me since I saw all of that shit before age anyway.) Some wanted to turn 16 so they could drive. Some people couldn't wait to turn 21 so they can drink legally. I didn't. I just didn't want to grow up and face more responsibilities and hardship..

At this point in life, there are no more artificial milestones to achieve. I can drive, drink and do whatever the fuck i want. I guess the only thing left is get to the age where I can collect social security but I don't even know if that will be available. I guess the other thing is when I can start getting senior discounts.

In any case, I will spend the weekend thinking about all of these things and come monday, it will be another beginning of the week.

Is that all there is....?

Kai Shun Mandolin Professional Slicer

2009-09-24T07:37:00.001-07:00

Can you believe this shit costs over 200 bucks?!?!?

This thing better be able to slice open a bean can for that price.

Deliciousness: Petite Brownie Bites

2009-09-23T01:26:00.000-07:00

Petite Brownie Bites from Costco is pretty damn good. It packs a ton of goodness into a small package. The problem is that it also packs a hefty calorie count in that soft brown cupcake like profile.

I would recommend you buy it and try it. It's definitely worth the 10 bucks. This thing will last you a month or so. It's fantastic with milk or vanilla ice cream. Go get it!

* Sent via BlackBerry *

Hanken cels

2009-09-22T01:41:00.000-07:00

One of my pieces (For the 100th time, it's not for sale) - And yes, it's A1 bitches! hahaha

I used to be a collector of cels. Well, I guess since I never actually gave up collecting, I am still a collector. However, I took a break after...well, the entire industry went digital and "cels" were no longer painted by hand but rather done in photoshop or photoshop-like digital environments.

This is a shame because these cels were amazing. Of course, the quality depended on the "frame" and whether it was an A, B, or C cel but I always appreciated the fact that in the slave labor like environment, a human took the time to dip paint/ink and draw on some plastic for the world to see for a fraction of a second.

In any case, my dream was to collect 1 or 2 super high quality pieces from various series so that I can look back 30 years from now and reminisce. I never collected these things so that I can make a profit. I just thought they were really interesting and I figured this hobby would expand my understanding of the world a little more. I would have purchased more cels but the problem of course was money.

These fucking things were really expensive. My friend always brings up the time when I asked him for 400 bucks out of the blue. It was a shame because he only had 300 bucks. Still, I managed to find the money and buy the fucking thing. AND, i managed to get it signed by inoue kikuko. (Guess which cel I got? heh)

The most coveted cels in my opinion were Hanken cels. These were ultra-rare cels that were hand painted and were depictions of key frames/poses of characters and scenes from a series. They were usually created to make covers for albums, dvd boxes, stickers, and other merchandise. Therefore, the detail and quality of these original one of a kind pieces were superb...and super expensive. Also, these were almost never released to the public. The only way you can get these things required unusual circumstances....which I imagine involved some sort of sex act. But once in a blue moon, you could get them because, i imagine, some desperate employee sold them to buy more sexual favors or to buy ladies of the night.

I was surfing the web today and I found some old school hanken cels for sale. Guess what, each piece costs >$6000 bucks. Seriously, one fucking cel costs over 6 grand. I remember these things selling for 500-1000 bucks back in the day but now....it's ridiculously expensive.

I guess I'll never own any more of these things. Most have been bought up by collectors years ago or have been destroyed. Other interesting ones, like the Disney "hanken" will never ever be sold again. I have a few Babs and Buster bunny but who cares about that shit right?

Sigh. Anyway, I guess I felt like thinking back to the good ol' days...

Birthdays

2009-09-21T02:34:00.000-07:00

There are many people with September birthdays. This poses a problem. I am only one person and I can't make it to all of these parties.

I also saw this. Is this the birthday present for someone I know?

Stay tuned.